Do you think young children should have to say they are sorry for hurting someone, even if they really aren't?

Question

I think it is good manners to say sorry, but where I teach, They feel children shouldn't say sorry unless they really are sorry.

Answer 1

When teaching young children to say sorry, it is not about them understanding the meaning of the word... it is working towards building empathy, the ability to understand when they have done something wrong and laying foundations for the respect of others. All these things seem to be sadly lacking in the youth of today, and it is heartbreaking to hear that your school thinks that it is not their role to scaffold and encourage these qualities in the young children in their care.

Answer 2

I personally think it is a sad state of affairs when the children don't really feel sorry when they do something wrong. So I gues what I would strive to do is have the student understand that they have hurt someone else and come up with some natural consequences for their actions. They may not be sorry they hit little Johnny. But, there are laws in our class and you have broken a law. what can you do to make this situation better. Many times kids will say, "Tell him I am sorry." I then say, "Are you?" If they are then I ask the other person if things will be okay with an apology. The child may have a better suggestion. I try to put as much of the problem solviing on the child's shoulders. I have had students offer to help children clean their desks to help make the offended child's day better and many other creative suggestions.
It's okay for kids to be mad. It is not okay to be rude and hurtful to others. They need to practice expressing these feelings and opinions in a positive way. Instead of calling little Johnny a bid poopy head, it is better to tell him he is making me mad because he keeps using my crayon without asking.
I could talk about this all night long.

Answer 3

Hopefully by the time an adult speaks with the child they are sorry. It is our responsibility to discuss with the child and help them understand what their negative words or actions have emotionally done to the other person involved. If you have done that and the child still feels no remorse, chances are the child has a deeper issue than the one on the surface at that time. However, empty apologies are such a touchy subject. It may help the emotionally wounded person feel better (only if they think it is sincere). The child that makes the apology feels no differently than he did when he hurt the person. So what is the point in apologizing. (Then again I now feel like a hypocrite) I make my children do this all the time. I had never thought about it until now. Don't know what I will do in the future.

Answer 4

Well, this is a very touchy question. I personally don't believe a person of any age should be forced into saying they feel something they do not genuinely feel. However the reason I'm sure that this "rule" or attitude exists is to benifit the injured (emotionally or physicly) child. I take it you work at either a daycare or privect sector school? I would be pretty upset if the public school MY children attend forced MY child to say they were sorry for something to someone if s/he didn't feel that way. But hey who am I but a parent? Why not just let the school raise my child and teach my child manners and what s/he should feel!!! *sarcasm* I'm sorry. It's just how I feel about this. I had to say sorry when I didn't mean it in elementary, but it was the 80s & it was acceptable for the schools to instill values......

Answer 5

The key is to explain the situation to this child so that they become truly sorry for what they did. If a young child pinches another child and his mother or teacher yells, "Don't pinch! Say you're sorry!", the child will not understand what they are saying sorry for. The sorry only means that his parent or teacher won't be angry anymore.

Instead, take the child aside and explain to him or her that pinching hurts other children. Ask him what he would feel like if someone had pinched him. Doesn't it hurt? You are hurting another child, even though you wouldn't want to be hurt? Etc. They won't learn right away, but if you explain it each time, they will begin to pick it up.

Answer 6

Young children are still learning social interaction and right/wrong conduct. It is good for them to make a habit to say sorry even if right now they don't fully understand the reason. It is good training for them. Even as adults, are still called to do sometime things that we don't agree with but it is the right thing to do. We at times also apologize for hurting others even if we think we did not commit any fault.

Answer 7

Learning to give an apology is an important life skill. How many times have you had to apologize for a mistake you have made at work? It also teaches them a sense of empathy (the ability to put yourself in their shoes and feel the way they feel) which very young children cannot learn but for example. Not to mention, as you said, it is just plain polite to apologize when you have wronged someone, even if you don't really mean it.

Answer 8

Well those people are runing a little kids emotional values by saying that. If they dont say sorry then they should sit in a chair untill they say it. little kids trully dont understand what "sorry" means but if adults help them feel like "sorry" doesent matter then they are going to grow up thinking that they never do anything wrong and they will not like it when they realise when they do something wrong. But you are right they should say their sorry its ashame people let kids think its ok to act in ways that are not so nice.

Answer 9

yes, they should have to say they are sorry because even if they are not REALLY sorry it is a good habit to learn and it may help the victim feel a little bit better and release some of the ill will towards the offender

Answer 10

If you know the child doesn't mean it you should still make them say sorry just so that it becomes a routine and maintains the child's manners!