Is it easier to have a two parent household?

Question

I am 19 and a mommy of (almost) 2 girls, their father was killed in Iraq when I was 2 months pregnant with our second. We never lived together, so I never experienced raising a child in a two parent household. Is it easier (compared to a single parent house)?

Many of my friends that have children say that their boyfriends/husbands don't really help them with the baby anyways and they cause more stress than anything. Is this true?

Answer 1

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be terrible.

It's easier to raise a child in a healthy environment. That doesn't always mean a two parent household. If you can be in a healthy relationship with a man who can treat your children as his own, then of course, that would be very good for the girls and you.

But lot's of women do it alone and although it is hard, it can work out better than living in an unhappy or unhealthy home. I send you my love and my wishes. Good luck.

Answer 2

It's easier if you both support each other in the displine and raising of the children. But as the mother, you usually make all decision and take care of the kids anyway, so technically you have the mother & father roll. So, no it's not alway easier because you may have conflict regarding the kids, but on the other hand as a single parent you're not questioned on your decisions that you make regarding your children in YOUR HOME!

Don't get me wrong, there are alot of REAL MEN out there that takes an active roll in raising their children as well.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your boyfriend.

Answer 3

First I apologize for the loss I know it must be very hard and frustrating to be in this situation. Secondly I am a divorced from a man who was in the military I married him when I was 19 and I just didn't know any better. We also had 2 children togethor, he did not help out at all with the children, and I was a lot better off without him. However I thought I needed to have that male presence in the home also to make it easier, and I did it before I was ready to do it. It turned out to be a big mistake and heartache for myself and my children. I just turned 30yrs old and I was single for about 5yrs, it taught me that I could make it on my own and to trust my instincts not my wants or other peoples desires of what they thought was best for me. I finally met my now husband who is a great help and a wonderful support system for me and my children. I suggest you take some time to yourself and concentrate on you and your family, and when the time is right a person will come into your life who benefit you. You need the time not only to mourn your loss completely, but to also figure out what you need in your life. Your children need there mother, not a make shift family.

Answer 4

Wow. You have been through alot already, and I can't imagine how stressful your life is at 19. God bless you.
Ummm, the best advise that I can give you (and I will try to keep it short) is live next to a relative that will help you watch your children (Your mother, your Aunt, a sister, your boyfriend's Mother, ect.) while you go to work or go to school. Personally, I am against women dragging men into their children's lives when there is not father present, because children get attatched easily and do not deserve to a. Get attatched to a guy then have him leave because of a split up, B. Feel less important because Mommy is giving some guy most of her attention (I suffered from this personally as a child, I can't tell you how much it hurt to feel like I wasn't important to my mother) and C. While a woman is dating a guy, generally he will act really good to her children, then after they get married, will treat the children like a financial burden and a burden to his free time. (I also suffered at the hands of a step dad that treated me like a second class citizen) So, if you want to date and be in a relationship with someone, I suggest that: A. You NEVER bring him around your children, and keep your dating to once or twice a week, don't abandon the kids when your feeling that new relationship rush. B. You date the man for at least 2 years before you get into anything serious because by that time you know someone really really well. (Like wether or not they are abusive, have anger problems or alcohol problems, or if they are like child molesters) C. Then, if the guy is still around, he should be a good enough guy to introduce the children to slowly, and observe him with the kids before any huge steps. remember, you are setting the example for your children's future behavior. So, if you want your children to be married before moving in with a man, you should be too. Good luck to you and God Bless you and your children.

Answer 5

I am a military wife, going back and forth from single to two parent household. It is much easier when my husband is home than away. That doesn't mean that I don't do well when my husband has to be away, but with him home I have more energy and time. The kids benefit by having two different parenting styles.

Answer 6

Very sorry to hear of you loss. What a tragedy. To answer you question, yes it is much easier to have 2 parents...if the parents love each other and are supportive of one another. I know some darn good Daddy's out there that do just as much, if not more for their kids as the mothers. I know some pretty crappy Mom's too, who keep popping out babies to fill a void, but when the void is still there, take it out on the kids.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Hope you are adjusting ok, but I know it must be hard. I just got back from Iraq in May 2006. My wife and I are having a hard time with me being home because she said that our kids used to be perfectly under control while I was gone, now they are back to their old selves again. She says it has something to do with me being there. I don't know though. I stick with her rules when it comes to them and we back each other up when it comes to disciplining. As far as newborns or children still in diapers, years ago we worked together and it seemed to be easier. I guess if you found the right guy who really wants to be involved with you and your kids than it would go great. Just depends on the person I guess. Again, I'm really sorry for your loss. I feel for every soldiers significant other who has to deal with a deployment.

Answer 8

I was a single parent for almost 5 years and find it easier to be a single mommy than have a man around. Since I have remarried, my daughter gets confused when I tell her one thing and then my hubby tells her something different. Plus, he is not around that much, so he is not that big of a help.

Answer 9

well i wouldnt say that my husband is the most helpful person of all but he does make things a little easier sometimes. i wouldnt say that he causes more stress, if anything he can be really helpful at times. i have a friend who is a single parent and I know that it is very hard on her. i give you props for being able to do it by yourself.

Answer 10

I'm married and I always say that it would be easier if my hubbie wasnt living w/ me because he doesnt help out w. my son much (not that he's a bad father, he's great when it comes to playing)..I feel annoyed because I expect the help since he's around but if he wasnt I wouldn't be so annoyed because I would know that I HAVE to do everything by myself...sometimes when u expect help ur more disappointed when u dont get it