What's the best/worst joke you've told/heard?

Question

it doesn't have to be the entrie joke. it can be the punch line or just whatever made the situation funny to u

this is a hard one to vote.... i'll leave it up to the answers crew ;-)

Answer 1

Cowboy Logic

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Montana ranchers for controlling the coyote population.

It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.

What the Sierra Club proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated and let loose again, and the population would be controlled.

All of the ranchers mulled over this 'amazing' idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat back, and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those coyotes ain't ******' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em."

Answer 2

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ’the
prison’ and call my private thing ’the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Answer 3

It s the worst joke because its so mean...
Q. Whats better than winning the Special Olympics?
A. Walking

Answer 4

the worst joke: what did the apple say to the banana?
A: nothing, apples can't talk!

I can't choose a best joke.

Answer 5

worst jokes...but still funny...sometimes:
whats jackie chans favorite drink? (mind you have to say it with the accent)...........wa--taaaa!!
what do you get when you have a deer with no eyes?
....no i-deer!!
what does snoop dog wash his clothes with?........ble-ach!!
yea theyre pretty lame......but hey you asked for the worst right?

Answer 6

How do you know when a bartender is really pissed off at you? (answer)....When you find a string in your bloody mary! (worst)