I seem to be lying to this guy I love but I don't know what to do to stop...It might cause him to leave me and never feel anything for me again. I dont want that to happen.
2006-07-19 08:05:55 · 31 answers · asked by LALA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think you are lying because you want him to think you are something you are not; you want him to love you so you lie and pretend to be someone else. if you are unhappy with this situation you've got to start being yourself instead of the person you think he wants to be with. if he starts disliking your real self then you're with the wrong guy!
2006-07-19 08:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by stingub40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I was doing this the first time i entered a relationship as well.. THe solutions can be 2: 1. Either you don t really love the guy 2. You should think that it unuseful to lie to him because it un pleassant for you in the first place, to try to remember each itty bitty lie you said all the time. I am sure your ego doesn t tolerate you being caught with a lie.
Take care and have fun in your relationship, which is much easier when you re not telling lies.
2006-07-19 15:09:06 · answer #2 · answered by Alexandra I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First stop lying. Second stop lying. The problem with lying is that once you do it it gets easier and easier and telling the truth gets harder and harder because we are scared what will happen if we tell the truth. Remember doing something that he would get mad about and not telling him is lying too. Tell him about your problem and tell him that you want to stop. If he asks you stuff, TELL THE TRUTH. Especially if it will make him mad. That will show character and he might leave and have a cool off period but thats okay. Let him have it to gather his thoughts and let him call you.
2006-07-19 15:14:07 · answer #3 · answered by Christian H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Monogamy is very difficult, and some research indicates unnatural. Seeing other people neither makes you a bad person nor mean you do not love your boyfriend. You have three choices:
a. continue duplicative lifestyle in secret, and continue it for as long as you can. You can do this as long as you do not get married, have children, or rely on your boyfriend financially.
b. if it's not the sheer excitement of seeing multiple people simultaneously, get your boyfriend to provide what you seek in other people: better sex, more stability? Give him the opportunity to improve.
c. allow your boyfriend to see other people as well. You can test the waters by asking, "All guys fantasize about other people, do you?" You would work toward changing the parameters of your relationship to unspoken permission for each of you to see other people.
If it were I, I would go with option A and live with the moral dilemma. Just do not rely too much emotionally or financially on your partner in the event you get caught.
2006-07-19 15:20:05 · answer #4 · answered by Dave's Quick Notes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step one. Stop doing the things you would have to lie about. Step two, don't create expectations that you are any better than you are. Let him accept you for who you really are. Step three sort out the things you can tell him someday (you have herpes?) from the things you can never tell him (you slept with his brother?). Introduce the first things to him very slowly, at the right time. Put the second group to bed and never think of them, just don't do it again.
2006-07-19 15:10:12 · answer #5 · answered by Monso Orda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HrmMmmm . .
it depends what you lie about . .
Do u lie about things like:
what u had 4 dinner?
what movie u saw?
what time u went to bed?
do u wash ur hands after going pottie?
If it is more serious lies like:
who you were with?
where u went?
what u were doing?
working "late"?
I suggest you to be more open and if you find yourself lyin to him immediately correct yourself. Like:
BF: where have u beed?
You: I was with my mom. NO! I was with the girls . . .
Hr m m m m . . . . .
. . . You do not want him to have trust issues, do u?!?!
Either way do ur best about being honest. Ask yourself why do you lie?
If you answer like:
what he might think of me?
what he might do?
he might look down on me?
Any of those then I would re-evaluate your relationship and why you are with sum1 who would pass harsh judgement on you.
If they are "white lies" I would try and be more honest and not worry too much as long as what you lie about doesn't or would not affect the relationship then what is the harm?!?!
2006-07-19 15:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you lying in the first place? Learn to love yourself, be who you are. Get some professional help. And then you might stop lying.
2006-07-19 15:09:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the first man you've ever loved? If it is, the emotion could be scaring you a bit. Just try to tell the truth about the little things, the rest will follow
2006-07-19 15:09:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Sardonyx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in the first place I hate lyers. Always have and always will. I find telling the truth always works out best. When you lye , ether everyone knows you are lying , you just don't know they do. Even if you get bu with it suner or later they find out. Then what do you think they think of you ?
2006-07-19 15:13:26 · answer #9 · answered by ldp999000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes even when we think we are being truthful we aren't. It is the little things that we just don't mention. Trust is a big part of a relationship. Be honest with your partner and you were meant to be together everything will work out.
2006-07-19 15:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by confused/hurt/angry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋