Here's a joke for you, send me one back...?

Question

Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from her purse, cuts the edge off and puts it over the cigarette. Her friend asks her: "What are you doing?!?" So she replies: "I don't want my cigarette to get wet so I covered it with a condom"
So her friend asks: "What’s a condom? Where did you get it?" So she says: "At the pharmacy" So the next day her friend goes to the pharmacy and asks the clerk if she can get a condom. The clerk asks: "What size?"
So she replies: "I dunno, one that will fit a camel"

Answer 1

Here's one back at ya...

A well endowed man tanned all the time at the beach. One day he decided he needed to tan that "one spot" that never sees the sun. So he went to a secluded spot and completely buried himself in sand so only his "unit" was poking out. This way he could tan it without overtanning the rest of his body.

Along comes 2 little old ladies out for their morning walk. The first one notices the strange thing in the sand and ponders for awhile and sighs. "Whats wrong dear?" askes the 2nd lady.

"Well" replied the first, look at this. (points to the thing in the sand)

"When I was a teenager I wondered about it,"
"When I was 20 I found it,"
"When I was thirty I got it three times a week"
"When I was forty I paid to see it"
"When I was 50 I still got it occasionally"
"when I was sixty I lost it"
"and now that I'm 70 the damn things grow wild on the beach and I'm too old to squat!"

Answer 2

Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from her purse, cuts the edge off and puts it over the cigarette. Her friend asks her: "What are you doing?!?" So she replies: "I don't want my cigarette to get wet so I covered it with a condom"
So her friend asks: "What’s a condom? Where did you get it?" So she says: "At the pharmacy" So the next day her friend goes to the pharmacy and asks the clerk if she can get a condom. The clerk asks: "What size?"
She says: " One that fits my butt!" Cigarrete butt!

Answer 3

lol hahahaha funny here is 1


directions: read these outloud


(English Phrase) I think you need a facelift

(Chinese Phrase) Chin Tu Fat



(English Phrase) Are you hiding a fugitive?

(Chinese Phrase) Hu Yu Hai Ding?



See me A.S.A.P.

Kum Hia Nao




Stupid Man

Dum Gai




Small Horse

Tai Ni Po Ni




Did you go to the beach?

Wai Yu So Tan?




I bumped into a coffee table

Ai Bang Mai Ni




It's very dark in here

Wai So Dim




This is a tow away zone

No Pah King




You are not very bright

Yu So Dum




I got this for free

Ai No Pei




I am not guilty!

Wai Hang Mi?




Please stay a while longer

Wai Go Nao?




They have arrived

Hai Dei Kum.




Stay out of sight

Lei Lo




He's cleaning his automobile

Wa Sing Ka.




Your body odor is offensive

Yu Stin Ki




I thought you were on a diet?

Wai Yu Mun Ching?

Answer 4

Hilarious ....hehehe..... How about this one?

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's not there 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?" "A hand job".

She runs back and tells the guy all the gets for thirty is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE penis. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"

Answer 5

one day two best friends went hunting, one guy name is jay and the other one name is greg. While greg and jay are hunting jay falls on the floor gasping for air and he starts to turn blue, so greg calls 911 and says i think my friend is dead and the operator then says well first make sure he really is dead greg says hold on and then the operator hears a gun shot and greg gets back on the phone and says now what.

Answer 6

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher walks by and opens up his trench coat. The first old lady has a stroke. The second old lady has a stroke. The third old lady can't reach.

Answer 7

Haha, I like that one. Here's one for you.

Two 1st grade girls are sitting in the house, talking. One of them says to the other, "Yesterday, I found a condom on the patio."

The second one says, "What's a patio?"

Answer 8

haha! That's good.

A lady was taking a shower. the doorbell rang. it was a couple. she put on her bathrobe and opened the door. "aren't you going to congratulate us? We just had a baby!" the women said congrats and went back inside and resumed her shower. 10 minutes later the doorbell rang again. it was a race car driver. she put on her bathrobe and opened the door. "Aren't you going to congratulate me? I just won a race!" the women said congrats and went back inside. 5 minutes later, the doorbell rang. it was the blind man. she didn't bother to put on her bathrobe this time. she opened the door. "Aren't you going to congratulate me? I got my sight back!"

Answer 9

NEWS FLASH:
Two peanuts were walking out of a bar.
One was a salted.

Answer 10

your face looks like you got hit with the ugly bat