i have an issue and like some advice?

Question

i am a cutter i have not cut for 5 monthes which is a huge improvement since i had to cut at least 3 times a day every day but i recently came across a problem with my bestest friend in the world and it overwhelmed me so much i just wanted to cut to help me deal i cant go to her and tell her because i love her and dont want to hurt her and i cant really tell my husband because it hurts him when i do cut my prn meds are not working and i have been off my daily meds for a 2 monthes and stable for the most part i dont have a therepist at the moment and my question is has any one that is/was a cutter have any help or advice on how to get through this crisis with my friend and not cut or let anyone know i am wanting to thank you for the support and advice

Answer 1

My daughter used to cut. So I understand your pain from a different perspective. Let me ask you this, what has helped you NOT cut during the past 5 months? Use those coping skills - only more.

Did you find a strength in yourself you didn't know you had? If so, draw on it with the realization that you will always have the strength to not cut, or to forgive yourself if you do.

Perhaps you came to realize the biological reason why you cut...release of endorphins and all that... Use your good coping skills, exercise, and do something just for you that help with the endorphins.

Perhaps you came to realize that you really had no control over what other people did to you (or in this case, what other people do to your friend). Because you are absolutely right, the only person you have any control over is yourself.

Talk to your husband. I'm sure he is scared for you. Thinking about my daughter, I think it was the fear of talking and expressing her needs that lead her to cutting.

It wouldn't be bad to go back on meds or to have a little fine tuning therapy. If you really don't want to cut, perhaps this is what you need to do. Go back to your previous therapist. I'm sure you ended therapy with caveat that you can always come back. I'm sure you would never tell a diabetic not to take their insulin. You taking meds/therapy is no different - so don't feel guilty or feel like a failure.

Five months of not cutting is an incredible achievement! You should be so proud of yourself. Only a person who has been involved with cutting could really understand what it has taken for you to quit. It's not like quitting smoking, its more like stopping breathing...If you really don't want cut, call your therapist, it won't hurt and can only help. Much Happiness.

Answer 2

START TAKING YOUR MEDS AGAIN! YOU decided to stop taking your meds 2 months ago because YOU were doing well. Of course, you were doing well because no difficult situations had come up. The prescription was given to you to take until you felt better. They were prescribed to take consistently so when situations do come up (as they always do for everyone) you could cope. If you don't want to tell anyone, sit and write it all out, then read it back to yourself. Or record yourself talking it out - describing all of your urges to cut. I have worked in a specialty clinic for several years and know that this is what happens when we go to the doctor seeking help and when we start to feel better, we decide that we know more than he does, somehow. Makes you wonder why we ever thought we needed to see him anyway, right? I repeat, START YOUR MEDS AGAIN! Good luck.

Answer 3

The problem is that you have an issue with your friend that is not resolved, and won't be resolved if you don't talk to her. You are making the major source of help in your life, your husband, of no use because you don't want to hurt him.
The way I see it, if it hurts your husband when you cut yourself, then he loves you enough to want to help you stop. If you do cut yourself or want to, why conceal it from him? Talk to him; he loves you and wishes to help, and concealing the desire or an instance of cutting is going to hurt him worse because he probably will think that you don't trust him. Talking to him about this will strengthen your realtionship because he will see that you trust him.
As for your friend, get some support from your husband, and talk to your friend. When you talk to her, do not gang up on her with your husband. Do not attack her, let her know how you feel, and what it is doing to you emotionaly. Leave out cutting, and just focus on how it makes you feel and why. If you need to, get a good friend both you and your friend trust and talk things out with the good friend as mediator.
If you don't resolve the problem with your friend, you will feel more and more like cutting. If you can't trust your husband for support, then you will have less help to keep you from cutting.

Answer 4

You must get back on your medication as this keeps you stable. Instead of cutting why not hold a piece of ice for as long as you can. this can give the same feeling of pain and release but with no tissue damage.
Have you had a diagnosis of your condition? It sounds to me as if you have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Look it up on Google and you will discover lots of ways to help yourself.
Remember you don't need to cut yourself

Answer 5

Talk your anger out instead of doing something to yourself. Talk to your friend or talk to your husband. Tell them how you feel and that you feel like reverting to your old ways and would like to talk. I haven't self mutilated for about 3 months but havent cut for years. I used my nails most recently and it doesn't leave scars. I just think that you should go see a doctor or use your time to your advantage and get the things done that you need to do, to mainly distract yourself.

Answer 6

i understand the way you sense, and you're precise you dont deserve that. now and back its problematic to enable circulate of somebody you rather love, even theory deep down you recognize thats what you may do. in case you think of you should be taken care of that way then stay, or try chatting with him, which curiously you have and the place has it gotten you? no the place basically pushed around. or you could go away him and wait for a guy which will manage you approaches you should be taken care of. And NOO you're no longer appearing psychotic, money is basically greater significant to him than you, to no longer be propose.

Answer 7

the greatest love of all is to love yourself! keep that in mind. i know it's difficult to stop cutting, i still do it from time to time. it's hard to talk to your loved ones because they can't understand. i was on meds and therapy but it didn't work for me and a lot of ppl were hurting because of what i was doing but after a while i just stopped because there were lots o people surrounding me, i was always busy doing something....it's hard to talk and i choose not to but it's not helping. you can try writing...trust me it helps, a lot more than you would think! hope you can stop cutting because our body is our temple... CARPE DIEM and whatever it is that's troubling you remember that "after the rain the sun is shining!"

Answer 8

You really need to get to the heart of your issues. Maybe talking to your friend instead of hiding behind cutting would help you to learn to assert your self and your feelings better and if they are a good friend they will understand your needs and be able to be supportive to you too.

Answer 9

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD OR NOT BUT IN THE BIBLE IS SAY'S HE WILL NEVER HAND YOU ANYTHING IN LIFE THAT YOU CANNOT HANDLE. YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO DEAL WITH STRESS WITHOUT CUTTING YOURSELF. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONE, BUT MY BEST FRIEND WAS AND BECAUSE SHE WAS A CUTTER ONE SHE WAS UPSET AND HIT THE WRONG SPOT AND NOW SHE IS GONE AND NO LONGER WITH US. SO THINK OF THAT WHEN YOU THINK OF CUTTING YOURSELF IF IT HURTS YOUR HUSBAND WHEN YOU CUT YOURSELF IMAGINE WHAT IT WILL DO IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU. SO WOULD SAY IT WOULD BE A SELFISH ACT WHEN OTHERS THAT LOVE YOU ARE INVOLVED. SO LEARN TO DEAL WITH STRESS ON YOUR OWN AND WITH YOUR HUSBAND S SUPPORT AND IT WILL TAKE AWHILE TO RECOVER BUT YOU WILL SOON SEE THAT CUTTING IS NOT THE ANSWER!! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!! :)

Answer 10

In all honesty, I find it hard that anyone could have such a problem. Your mind is the most powerful force on the planet... use it!