the good guy is everything i could ever want but the bad guy is the love of my life. i known the bad guy for 7 yrs and we have been through a lot so i dont want to loose everything we have worked on. he dosent realize what he has yet...i know one day he will see but i know my worth and i know i deserve better. the good guy wants to give me the world but i want to give the bad guy the world. the bad boy isnt bad he just isnt good. my mind says the good guy but my heart says the bad guy. do i follow my heart or listen to my mind. please help me...xoxo
2006-07-19 07:46:49 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is my advise. Go with the bad guy. You will eventually anyway and hurt the good guy. So save the good guy some heartache and just pick the wrong one from the get go.
2006-07-19 07:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by JustMe 6 · 12⤊ 7⤋
Every girl is excited when they are around the bad boy. You know that the bad boy isn't gonna give you the world. Every girl wants a bad boy. After you have them though its like whatever. You know the good boy will give you everything that's possible. You also know that you are better than the bad boy deserves. Remember this, Every girl wants a bad boy, but in the end the good guy is the winner. Hope I Helped.
2006-07-19 14:54:49 · answer #2 · answered by Hottie1023 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have them both. That's me being the little devil on your shoulder. Hedge your bets and stay near the bad boy just in case he ever does figure it out, and stay with the good boy because spending your life waiting for a man to wise up is foolish.
Who knows, you might fall in love with the good boy for real. If you don't, break it off before you get bored and hurt a man who doesn't deserve it.
P.S. Just because a man is everything you ever wanted doesn't mean you will love him, or be able to force youself to. Don't push that.
Personally, I'd take the bad boy, period. At least it sounds like you've got passion there. Relationships based on the mind alone get a bit cold. You'll get hurt, but that's what life's about.
2006-07-19 14:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by Alex G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most females are attracted to the "bad" boy, because we have been programmed by our environment to admire that image. For example, in the 60's...James Dean, John Wayne, The Hell's Angels. You even have real life "bad boys" glamorized, like Jesse James, Wild Bill, Doc Holiday, Wyatt Earp, Custer. WWll Fly boys were considered bad boys. Rebel rousers. Daredevils. Guys with a live or die attitude and kiss my a-- if you don't like it mentality. Country Music is full of Hell raisers who are depicted by society as just good ol boys looking for a good time. Very rarely do you find society or media talking the good guy up. Why? It doesn't sell. Which would you prefer to hear? the juicy piece of gossip that raises your blood pressure and makes your eys bug when you hear that Joe was caught outside the local club with Suzie Q, when wife Janie pulled up a magnum in hand, or the bit of news that Joe took his girl to dinner and the movies then went home to sit in front of the fire cuddling? Face it, we are brainwashed to be attracted to the bad boy. Big muscles, testosterone just oozing from every pore, that says, "Honey, I'm big and bad. Just hang on tight and I'll protect you, cuz nobody messes with me." What they don't tell you, is that the bad boy makes a terrible life mate unless you are a bad girl at heart..like Bonnie loved Clyde...to death. If you have a "bad girl" mentallity and want to raise little boys with "bad boy" mentallities..go with the bad boy. If you're basically a good girl with gentle down-to-earth ideals...want to have a home, a car, 2 dogs and 2.3 kids, maybe grandkids someday, vacations at least once a year to nice places, no debt...your chances are better with the good guy. First determine what you really want out of life; what your ideals are and future goals you seek to attain. If you can't see any of that occurring after 7 years with the love of your life, you probably won't see it in the next 7 or the next. How old will you be in 14 more years? Will it be almost too late by then to start over? Will you regret not being a little selfish and sharing what the good guy wanted to share with you, because you had a lot to offer him as well? Or will the love of your life turn sour because you were constantly nagging him to be someone he wasn't and because he could never see your value? If you stay with the love of your life, decide right now, that you will be his Bonnie no matter if he changes or stays the same. Accept him just like he is or move on. Just think of it this way, not all bad boys are losers and not all good guys are winners. But you can be a winner if you focus on who you are, where YOU'RE going and what you want out of life, and you're going after that with a 110% intent and then make sure that one of them is of the same mind. Remember, a house divided against itself cannot stand.
2006-07-19 15:50:55 · answer #4 · answered by tyms_up 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Niether, you are caught in a vicious cycle of co-dependent relationships where people are trying to help and save each other. People should be more independent. You are waiting for the bad boy to change. He won't. He might later in life, but not as long as you are around, you are holding him back, not helping him. You won't be happy with the good guy who wants to save you. You'll at least get bored later on. You are looking at changing the way you relate to people, it won't be easy or happen over night. Try reading, "Co-dependent No More", by Melanie Beadie, (author's name might be a little different...) Best way to deal with this if you really want to change it is a support group for co-dependents. Don't ever date someone from ur support group. Good luck.
2006-07-19 14:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can tell you from experience that you cannot "save" the bad guy or "help" him to see his potential. He will probably always be this way or worse. And have nothing.. Love is not everything and it can't fix everything. Love actually doesn't "fix" anything!
You need to be practical. if you do not care for the good guy then that isn't worth it either, let both go and find someone who fits you and who is neither good or bad, but right for you!
It is hard to find a good man that wants to care for you, love you and treat you good. Jerks are a dime a dozen!
2006-07-19 14:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mommadog 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Let me just say- At the moment the bad boy sees you are out, he will see what you've meant to him. Its sad but that's how it is most of the time. If you decide for the good guy you have to completely stay away from "the love of your life". Can you do that? It not fair to the good guy if you aren't at least willing to forget "the love of you life". It's hard . You can't have both men in your life in anyway- it won't work. I've tried. No one can make that choice for you but yourself.
2006-07-19 15:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to insult you--but you sound too immature to commit. If you were to go into a relationship with the bad guy, with the expectation that he will change and see what a good thing he has--you aren't being fair to him. he is what he is, and he may never change.
When you are able to see why there is not choice (the good guy should be the only option, especially when you are talking marriage and kids), you will be ready.
Chemistry wears off, character doesn't.
2006-07-19 14:50:48 · answer #8 · answered by Love2Sew 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither, I am so sorry. The bad boy doesn't deserve you and you don't deserve the good boy. You need to find someone who is your world, and who treats you the same. I married the bad boy, and after 26 years of being good, quess what, he couldn't take it anymore. I wished I had married the good boy, but that wouldn't have been fair to him. So, now I am waiting for papers that says I am going to be alone in my middle age. Wished I had hunted longer for one that loved me and as much as I loved him. Good luck, and I am sorry that proably wasn't what you wanted to hear, but from experience, I would do so more looking...God bless...
2006-07-19 14:55:06 · answer #9 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
c'mon you know the answer to that already!
The good one of course if you don't then you will waste your time "waiting" for the bad one to realize? ain't gonna happen.
In the meantime you risk the good guy finding someone new to treat like a queen. Leaving you with nothing but a broken heart in the end.
2006-07-19 14:50:38 · answer #10 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u like the good Boy then u got a good choice, but if u love the bad Boy whose like to do things wit out thinking and do things their own way then u got a good choice. Everything depends on what u want think wisely and think things over on what u like and what u love
2006-07-19 14:51:56 · answer #11 · answered by Amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋