recently i found my mothers journal that dated back to 1993 and i found a lot of disturbing information about my father being addicted to cocaine... im 19 now and this is when i was 13-16 years old and i remember that time in my life and how i suspected his absence in my life was due to an affair... it makes me upset to know he lied to me to go do drugs... should i ever bring this up with my parents?
2006-07-19 07:33:05 · 12 answers · asked by tustudent 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Examine your feelings as to why you feel it necessary to confront your mother and father. I am sure it must have caused your motherand father a lot of pain and you bringing it up would only open old wounds. If your parents wants to talk to you about it, they will.
2006-07-19 07:35:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, but you should ask about that period in time and see what they say. If she lies to you then she is only trying to save you from the pain of knowing that your dad had a problem. But your lucky, my dad ended up in the hospital and almost died from his addictions and mom told us that he was just sick. They never let on to the fact that he was doing drugs. Years later, I found out it was because of all the stuff that he was doing that sent him into the hospital 4 times. Be there for your parents, dont be angry, you might not have them for as long as you would like.
2006-07-19 07:39:39 · answer #2 · answered by Resident_Psychic_24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. keep it to yourself but be supportive of your father. Now that you know what one of his major broblems is, research cocane addiction and recovery to learn how you can be helpful.
I know you must feel hurt about the lies and absents of your father at shuch a young age, but people can and do change. I use to suffer from a cocane addiction back in 1985-88. I know what life must be like for your father. I also know that since I quit useing I've changed. I'm not the same person I was then and neither is your father. Live life for tomarrow, leave the past in the past. If you really need to talk to someone about your pain, consider someone els in your family, someone your close with you can trust. But remember it must be someone you have unwavering trust with, who you know will never tell. If you don't know anyone like that consider trusting someone who dosn't know you, or where your family is. You need a good listener, some one like me who is impartial, compationate, and understanding of the problem. Feel free to contact me if you like. I have nation wide verizon cell service and can talk on the weekends for many hours.
Prayer can be helpfull to. Many times there are situations like yours that require devine intervention to heal broken hearts. I've seen it happen many times. I hope your father is over his addiction now. If you don't think he is, it's important he has the support from people like narcotics anomimus, or an accretted recovery program. Getting dad to participate in recovery will require much tactfulness and support from you and your family once the cat is out of the bag. If you know what I mean?
2006-07-19 07:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by wernerslave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think being honest with your children is the best way to handle any situation.
Yes, your parents may feel they need to hide something for "their own good" BUT, I feel you need to know something like this.
You're 19 you say? I think that talking to it with your parents abit more would be an OK decision, but this could be a touchy subject, so even if you didn't mention it with your parents, that'd be fine also.
I say do whatever you think if best. If your parents lie about it, they are also still battling it with and I'm sure later in life you three can talk about it.
2006-07-19 07:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by brandonedbishop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be reading your mother's journal. Parents often lie to their children to protect them. Would you rather he told you that he wanted to go do cocaine? He lied so that you wouldn't think it was ok to do cocaine. Better cocaine than an affair. He has (had?) a problem that he didn't think you were old enough to handle and he tried to shield you from it.
2006-07-19 07:40:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a reason that your mom kept you from knowing the truth at that time--she was trying to protect you. But now you're an adult, I think you should have a heart to heart with your mom and tell her that you feel bad about the whole thing--but also remember that this is the PAST and you cannot undo it. There is no room for bitterness and hate for past things, only understanding and acceptance.
2006-07-19 08:20:12 · answer #6 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know parents all try to do the best they can your dad had a problem at that time but that doesn't make him any less your father, if he has kicked the habit then I wouldn't bring it up chances are is that he is not proud of it and is something he would not want you to ever find out about.
2006-07-19 07:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by unhappyinin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No But this should show you and everyone else the destructive power of Coke. and other illegal substances. It has hurt the family, you, and many other people you would of never thought of.
2006-07-19 07:38:07 · answer #8 · answered by circle_cast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. There is no point in it now. there is no reason to open old wounds of this nature. No good end would come of it.
2006-07-19 07:37:41 · answer #9 · answered by Quietman40 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how is your relationship with him now? if it's good, then you should probably just let it go. nobody's perfect and we all have our secrets. one day you will have your own and will probably hide it to protect your children. they were just trying to protect you. no need to open old wounds if you can avoid it. forgiveness!
2006-07-19 07:38:34 · answer #10 · answered by JR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋