Any Bush Jokes?

Answer 1

So Bush is sitting in the oval office when Rumsfeld and his staff walk in and announce, "Bad news from the war front today, Mr. President. The insurgents bombed a key location and we lost 3 Brazilian soldiers."

Bush hangs his head, puts his face in his hands and starts crying, "No, No, Why, Why did this have to happen?"

Rummy and his cohorts look back and forth between each other quizzically. So Rummy asks, "Mr. President, what's wrong, sir?"

Bush says, "Wait a minute, how many is a brazillion again?"

Answer 2

"We still don't know what the deal is what that thing in Bush's back, but I tell you, if God has a sense of humor, it is something that can only be cured with stem cell research." –-Bill Maher, on the bulge in Bush's back during the first presidential debate

"There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'" --Bill Maher

"62 million people tuned into the debate this week. That's almost one viewer for every time President Bush said ' mixed message.'" --Bill Maher

What's the difference between George W. Bush and the New York Giants?
Nobody thinks the Giants won.

"The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far. The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless." -Bill Maher

"All over Baghdad, Iraqi looters have been breaking into banks and walking out with millions of dollars in Iraqi money. As a result, they now qualify for President Bush's tax cut." -Conan O'Brien

How can you tell if George W. Bush is lying? His lips are moving.

Why is George Bush so hard-headed? His skull protects the weakest part of his body.

Answer 3

The Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually, the topic got around to former Texas Governor George W. Bush and his elevation to the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know, he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the dumb s_h_i_t get down!"

Answer 4

You're a photo journalist who happens to be in Washington DC just as a terrible tornado hits... landmark buildings are breaking apart... tour buses are being swept up like they were toys and all of a sudden you see George Bush, all by himself, clinging to a street light pole for dear life. You can either try to help him to safety and save the life of a world leader, or you can capture the death of a president on film, and send your career into superstar-dome. So you face the difficult choice... should you use color film or black and white?

Answer 5

bush is a joke

Answer 6

go to www.google.com
then type in failure
then click the "i'm feeling lucky" button thingy