Am I right, or is my boyfriend right?

Question

for my boyfriend my 8 month anniversary he was going to take me out for a casual dinner then he expected we'd hang out after, but something came up with my friends (who i only see during breaks from college) and i wanted to hang out with them after... he got mad and said he always gets the short end of the stick... should i feel guilty about wanting to spend time with my friends who i never see?

I didn't cancel dinner with him... we went to dinner and didnt even have to rush i had 4 hours with him before i hung out with my friends i did NOT blow him off

Answer 1

It does seem like you could have picked a different night. Or, you could have rescheduled the "anniversary" dinner for a different night.

How you would feel if he had done that to you?

Answer 2

One thing caught my attention regarding this question. He told you he always gets the short end of the stick. There's a deeper issue here than this one particular incident. Whether you do or not, he feels you put him on the back burner for other people all the time. I had a girlfriend who did this to me & we had several arguments over it. Every time a friend or family member would tell her they needed her to do something, I got blown off for later. We finally sit down & she listened as I pointed out the occasions I had felt slighted, & we realized that while I didn't handle the situation with much tact, I was being neglected.
It sounds like he's trying to tell you he wants to come first in your life more often. He probably feels neglected, whether you believe you are doing this or not. Remember, it's not what you're doing at this point, but how he feels that is the issue. You can't really argue with feelings. You might need to try to talk to him & ask him why he feels he's getting the short end of the stick, & to give you some examples. Don't be rude or hateful about it, just genuinely ask him why he feels slighted by you. See if he has any reasonable complaints you hadn't noticed.
Now, as for breaking part of your plans with him, I can see fault on both sides. Yes, he should probably be more understanding about you wanting to see friends you don't see often. However, you did have plans with him first, & it is possible he had a surprise planned for you which you ruined for him. Can you see why he might have had his feelings hurt? Imagine if he had planned to propose after dinner (not likely, but just using it as an example)? Since many of us guys have trouble expressing our emotions, hurt feelings often translate to anger for us, so I really feel you may have hurt him. I will even place some blame on your friends IF they knew this break was coming up in advance. They could have informed you so that you wouldn't have had to break plans to see them. Even if they didn't know, it wouldn't be fair of them to expect you to drop plans for them, & they should understand if you & your boyfriend already had a date planned before they came to visit.
Try not to focus on who's right, because you are both wrong in this one. He is wrong for not being more flexible & understanding. You are wrong for reneging on your plans with him, placing him on the back burner, & hurting his feelings. Arguments are a lot like war. As our first President Bush said, "no one wins a war; there are only differing degrees of loss". You both lost. Hope you can make peace.

Answer 3

He is right. He planned a nice evening to celebrate your 8 month-aversary and you blew him off for your friends. If he said that he feels like he gets the short end of the stick, then maybe you should try to look at how you have been treating him. Guys don't usually say things like that over a one time blow off. Maybe he feels like you put everyone before him. You should ask yourself(and him) how many times has something like this happened.

Best of luck!

Have a great day:)

Answer 4

Ther is enough time in a day that would have allowed you to spend some time w/each of them, or even dinner w/your man and hanging out all together. If you had plans w/your man-I can see why he'd be mad.

Answer 5

you were wrong if you bothe already had definite plans. you could have explained and all you hang out or tell your friends you already have plans with your man and sorry. now if he was the first to initiate idea that you go ahead go along with friends yadda yadda ..than its okay and you got a great guy, but if not.... that was wrong of you! turn things around and see how you would feel.

Answer 6

the years is all that counts in anniversaries. I would say if he had something special planned just for the 2 of you. I sure wouldn't have canceled on my boyfriend!!!

Answer 7

Alot of ??????? here. If you go out constantly with your girlfriends,then I'm siding with him.If your always on the money,treating him right , then I think he needed to chill out,tell you have a good time , one night is no big deal.If I was the dude, I would have had a few brews with my buds,waited for you to get home.....and whatever.No big deal.....

Answer 8

no, of course not
you are right
anniversaries aren't about how many months you've known each other
it's about how many years you've been able to be with each other
if your bf gets mad at you for being loyal to your friends, he must be harsh
he has to understand that you are only trying to be a good friend
he can hang out with you another time

Answer 9

No. God, guys could be such babies. Is there a way to possibly fit everybody in. Maybe dinner with him first, then hang out with the girls?

Answer 10

ok. u sed u see them all the time on your college breaks, right? i wouldnt think yo bf would have a problem meeting up with them whenever. but if he planned a special night for you, then you shoulda been with him. guys dont be babies particularly, but if he loves you truly, and u turned him down for sum friends, that tells him sumthin about u dat he finds upset. yes we all have friends on the side, but yo mate is your BEST FRIEND. thats who u confide in and talk to whenever u have problems. think bout it.