Ack! I’m falling in love again. What to do?

Question

A month ago I met this girl. Athletic, sexy, smart, incredibly cute, playful, vulnerable in all the right ways. She may be the one.

I’m elated around her, the world disappears for us. No sex, no kisses, holding hands, but she sits close so I feel her skin, I tell a joke and she hits me, asks clever questions to probe my past.

When I ask her out she says she’s busy. She cancels dates. If I get personal in email she doesn’t reply. When I ignore her she comes back, a flirtatious email, a dinner invitation. This is driving me crazy. I’m afraid to lose her if I try too hard, but also if I don’t try enough. She wants me to sweep her off her feet but she won’t let me. It’s like reeling in a huge fish on a thin string.

We’re both old enough to have only one more chance at the dream – marriage, kids, a nice house, a proper life. We’re both getting over breakups, hers more recent than mine. We’ve both got the rebounds out of our system I hope.

Okay, how to break through?

Thanks for the great, helpful answers so far. To steer this a little bit:

(1) I know she's interested in me, no need to ask. But I don't want to box her into a corner by having _the talk_ just yet. She hasn't decided for herself.

(2) Too early to lay my heart on the line for the same reason, but I'll make it clear without words.

(3) Game playing and insanity comes with the territory of human mating behavior -- she isn't doing it any more than most, or at least it doesn't trouble me.

(4) I don't see anything wrong with the relationship at this point, it's just where it should be. I just want it to work, and not to blow it.

Thx

Answer 1

Her breakup was recent. Give her time to get over it. It's very frightening to realize you like someone so soon after breaking up, depending on how it ended with the other guy. Give her space. She's surely feeling your vibe, because sitting close enough to feel each other's skin is very romantic. Let it build up, it could be your love story. Make it beautiful. Don't push it. Good luck!

Answer 2

New love... how sweet.

Sounds like she likes you, but she is probably playing it safe... jumping back into a relationship after having your heart broken can be traumatic. Sometimes you just need to have patience. She is probably trying to see how committed you are.

If you really want to sweep her off her feet, forget dinner & a movie. Plan something bigger... a weekend get away to Tahoe or somewhere. This will give you more time together, and a better chance to bond. You can't really get to know someone on a two-hour dinner date... not enough time & too many distractions.

All the best!

Answer 3

ignore her for a while then she'll come running to u inviting u to dinner or something and that's Ur chance ;)) tell her Ur feeling & that u don't understand why is she behaving like that with u ,, uncover everything ... ask her about her true feelings ... is she intrested or 'll ever be ?? but tell her all that without sounding dispret or needy cuz girls hate that ,,it turn us off ;)
it seems that she love to play ;) so u shall play games too ;)
once u feel that she is going to run away from u again and avoid to unswer u !! then u play her game and start ignoring her again !then she 'll run after u again .... and so on ... pull & push untill u reach there ;)))
goodluck ... wish u all happyness

Answer 4

properly, perhaps he did care slightly! yet having stated that she must be exaggerating the whole component. 14 and 19 replaced into too youthful and sixteen and 21 is likewise too youthful. Boys your age are stupid and do somewhat dumb issues besides the undeniable fact that it somewhat would not replace all that plenty! from 14-40 or older. women human beings is additionally only as immature. You met a great guy! who could think of of you fondly! and you gained a friendship out of it. Thats some thing to hold on too~

Answer 5

Ouch! Id say just give it some time. Sounds to me like she is scared of getting hurt again. She needs for you to be there and show her you really care. SHe is trying to hold herself from falling to far to fast. SIt her down and express your true feelings to her. She might feel exactly how you do. Dont propose marriage or anything just say how you feel. Tell her you dont want to pressure her or anything, you just wanted her to know how you feel!

Answer 6

Ask her straight, what does she want from you. Her actions are confusing and it's driving you nuts...you don't know if you're coming or going with this girl. Tell her how you feel about her and how her actions are turning you inside out.

Answer 7

She might be playing hard to get. If you want something serious. explain how you really feel to her.
If she feels the same way, she'll stop hurting/confusing/rejecting you.
If she doesn't care, she probably wasn't worthy of your heart in the first place...

Answer 8

tell her! But don't mention the "We’re both old enough to have only one more chance at the dream". That could be bad.... LOL

Answer 9

find somone just like her but alot less insane. go to that dinner party and tell her that you dont want to be together and tell her the reason why. if i was you i would do the same.

Answer 10

Just sit down and tell her that her actions are confusing you and you would like to be clarified. Be sure and tell her your feelings first.