do you think 19 is to young to have a baby if you're married?

Question

i'm 19 and married and we wnat to have a baby but it has'nt happen yet do we wait or should we get checked out

Answer 1

It just depends on how stable you and your husband are. If you feel that you want to be a mother, then go for it. I personally would wait at least a few years, so you and your husband can enjoy your time together before you make an addition to the family. You want to spend as much time with him...go on vacations, do fun things....then when you have gotten it out of your system...start planning a baby

Answer 2

You sure have gotten a lot of answers for this one! But I'm giving you one from personal experience. I got married at 19 and we got pregnant about 3 weeks later. I had the baby at 20 though. But this is what we thought we wanted. Anyway, I wouldn't give my little girls up for anything. Although if I would go back and redo it, I might have waited a year or so. That way we could get settled into a better financial position and have time to just be together. But I'm also kind of glad that we are getting the pregnancies and babies done with. So that we can be young parents. Then when we are in our 30's and 40's our children will be old enough and responsible enough to take on vacations and trips. I would think about what your goals are now and later in life, and whether you could handle some struggles better now or later. I wouldn't run and go see a doctor right away just on the basis that you haven't got pregnant right away. Although it's a good idea to get checked out before you start trying to make sure everything is healthy and going fine.

Answer 3

This answer should take more than a sentence or two, because a lot is at stake. If you're not ready, you'll frequently know only when you have the baby - and generally it's too late to go back.

Historically, young marriages happened all the time, and pregnancies younger than 19 were a common occurance. It's possible that contributed to the average life expectancy being under 40 as well.

I hate to answer a question with more questions, but that's needed here: Are you and your spouse mature for your age? Can the two of you realistically take care of (clothe, house, feed) a newborn (or two - twins *do* happen!)? Can you meet each other's needs (physically, mentally, emotionally) at the moment?

If you can't say yes to those, you should wait. Spend some time together as a couple, get your careers or additional education going before you add a small, cute, incredibly-selfish-and-needy bundle of joy to your household.

Good Luck!

(Father of two)

Answer 4

At 19, you need time to grow up and mature. Some might say a baby will help you mature faster, but a baby's role is not to help mom grow up. A baby is a big responsibility and should be brought into this world only if 1) the parents are sufficiently mature to understand that a baby is a lifelong responsibility and are willing to work hard to make the marriage work,
2) the parents are able to afford the baby and afford a proper education for the baby. 3) the woman is mature enough to put the baby's interests first and not use it as a meal ticket or a status symbol.

Answer 5

If you are financially secure, mature enough and have experience with kids, and your marriage is sound, I think having a baby wouldn't be a problem. You have to be able to provide for the baby with the right medical treatment and things it needs. You have to have a real maturity about this and acknowledge the new role of mom that you are taking on. It takes team work from both parents to raise a kid and if your husband is lazy, irresponsible, or unaffectionate to your needs then he probably won't be able to handle a fatherly role. I am saying these things because I have exprienced it before with my kid which is 4 yrs old now. I just turned 21 but I feel much older than that already from the rapid changes I had to take to be I good father for my child. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck! It can take up to a year or two to get pregnant but go see a doctor after a year.

Answer 6

Yes, I do think 19 is too young, having been a young married mom, I realized that I should've taken more time to be a young married person. It's so hard to stay married these days, & people need to take the time to enjoy being married, being able to pick up & go when you two want, enjoy friends, & build on that foundation. If you have children at a young age, you add the stress of added finances, feeling like you've lost who YOU are alone, & as a couple. Having children is a wonderful thing, but once you do, it goes up to a whole new level. Enjoy being a young couple for a couple more years, go on trips, have couples nights, romance, buy a home, get used to paying bills, get used to having your own space & feel ok with him doing things with & without you. Once you have kids, it's all about them, & you can find yourself wishing you had more alone time, resenting him for being able to go to work & be around adults while you clean, go to Dr's, & have your tv taken over by cartoons, never being able to shower in peace, go shopping alone, talk on the phone..etc you start to loose being a woman, a wife, a couple, & it can cause a lot of problems. But if you wait & enjoy yourself, you won't feel it as much, you'll have a strong foundation as a couple.

Answer 7

Are you serious?! I don't mean to sound like some parent, but you're 19 years old! You have your whole life ahead of you to do what you want. This might sound a little cliche, but don't you have any hopes or dreams of becoming something more than a teenage mother? If you have a child right now, you will not only have to provide for it, you'll have to give up many things that you hold dear now just to give this kid an adequate upbringing. I don't want to write a novel of why I think that it is one of the worst ideas in a long, sad history of bad ideas, but use your imagination. I can hardly believe you are married too! I'm sorry if I seem too cynical, but maybe you should rethink your priorities.

Answer 8

you should wait for a couple more years before trying to have a baby. I'm saying this from personal experience. Things change, people change. Your young and need to have fun still. Once a baby is here, Life revolves around the baby. No more going to the usual places. It's harder to go out. If you wait a while, you'll develop a more strong and firm relationship with your husband. Babies don't make a marriage stronger, if anything they will put a strain on the marriage.

Answer 9

i don't think so. I had a baby at 19 and I knew about 2-3 others who were married and had babies. As with every pregnacy, there are risks. but make sure that you and your husband are really ready. do you have your own place? do you have the money to have a baby? the time? Plus you should always get checked out by a doctor to make sure that everything is ok for you to have a baby.

Answer 10

How is your marriage? If things are good between you and you can provide for the child, I say go for it. When the child is 21, you'll be 41 with a lot of life left in you.

One thought. Children add stress to a marriage. If you do decide to go ahead, be sure to make time for the two of you to work on your marriage. You should do that always, but especially after you get pregnant. It will change both of you. If you don't talk about it you will have some troubles.

Answer 11

I married before 19 and I had my first at 19. It was the right decision for me. I don't regret it at all and we are expecting our 5th right now. BUT I have a cousin that I was very close to growing up because we were so close in age, but she STILL can't even imagine being married, let alone a Mom. You need to do what is right for YOU.
I think that it would be okay to talk to your Ob/GYN about your concerns. From what I have heard from friends that have had trouble conceiving, they usually want you to try for about 2 years before doing testing. There are many things that can cause it to take a while, so relax and ENJOY the trying. :-)