Sorry for the death type questions today, my mother requires a surgery that is very risky, and will be happening as soon as they think it is possible. My thoughts are on the worse side of the street right now.
She has grandkids, by me and my brothers. She doesnt see them as much as she would like, and I guess I feel guilty because I can help her ( money-wise) more than I do. But I cant give her all my money either, cause I need some saved for my kids.
Heres my question, so i dont get "reported" for not asking one.
Should I pack up the kids, and travel across the ocean to see her now, or should I go alone, and hope all goes well. Would she view it as a bad sign if everyone showed up?
2006-07-19 06:09:31 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I've heard many times where people are consumed with guilt. As you've mentioned, your financially stable. So rather than feeling regretful, plan a short vacation get-a-way for the family. And enjoy the time spent with Mom and the let the children enjoy the trip too. Never live your life with "If only". Step out on faith, your sure to learn something from all your efforts.
2006-07-19 06:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by ~Jessica~ 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I would say go alone. I don't know how old your children are but if they are small then they might only stress her at this time. They could send her letters, cards, or pictures they have drawn to cheer her up. I hope everything goes well with her surgery. You can't feel guilty about the money you do not give her because as you know you have your own life and children to worry about.
2006-07-19 06:17:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how old your kids are. Personally I would take them, it would be the greatest gift you could give her if she really wants to see them, and that way you won't regret not doing it later. Its better to regret trying to do something benevolent than to regret not trying. I am sorry to hear about the situation. I've been there, and I can tell you I wish I had done some things a little differently. Good luck, and may whatever God you believe in bless you.
2006-07-19 06:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why on earth wud u think that she'll view it as a bad sign if everyone showed up???? havent it occurred to ur mind that she'll be happy to see everyone that she cares cares for her too?
good moslem believe in fate, whilst at the same time, a moslem will try the best in everything they do, irregardless of what is fated for them, coz what really count is what you do to acvieve somethin, not the results. fate might also change if u really try/work hard and pray.
when u already knew that the surgery is very RISKY (i trust that ur mom is prepared for the WORST), who will regret more if u n ur kids didnt turn up before the surgery.... you or your mom??
seems that u r feeling guilty already, dont let other thing such as regret come in ur life
2006-07-19 06:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by Asitis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not call and ask her? You could explain that you aren't trying to scare her. You just thought since she's so sick it might cheer her up to see the children. I hope all goes well. Either way I would go to her myself, even if you don't take your family. My father died before I got to him. I waited to long. It is something I will always be sorry for. Don't make the same mistake. Good Luck.
2006-07-19 06:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by chitchenitza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorty that your mother is so ill. If it were my mother, I would pack up and go see her. However, it appears that you are not from the same culture I am and your mother could react differently than mine would. I'd still pack everyone up and bring them over there and tell her that you were planning the trip anyway and felt that she needed to be cheered up. I sincerely hope that all turns out well for her.
2006-07-19 06:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Susan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone should make this trip. Plan a vaction-- plan activities for the family to do while you visit your mother in the hosiptal- Then if the worst were to happen your family would all be there to say thier good-byes-----but if her recovery was a quick one- the family could stop in to say hi and spend a little time there. My prayers are with you.
2006-07-19 06:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by BB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go alone and save money for either your mom or your kid. Don't be hopeless on your mom situation. Be with her at this time and pray for her.
But after the recovery, bring your kids to visit her often. You need to treat her nice when she is still alive and healthy. This is also the way you teach your kids to treat you well later.
2006-07-19 06:21:39 · answer #8 · answered by Henry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave all your duties and go as soon as you can to visit your mother. Every day spend with her is a treasure. Take your kids to show them the person that loves you most.
Hold the hand to your mother and confess all your sins to her. Let her forgive you.
2006-07-19 06:16:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ACROSS THE OCEAN WHERE? I HOPE NOT THE MIDDLE EAST. IF SO, PLEASE DON'T TAKE THE KIDS. CALL MOM AND SEE HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT EVERYONE COMING. I'M A MOM AND HAVE BEEN IN FOR SURGERY MANY TIMES. WHEN IN THE HOSPITAL I DIDN'T WANT ALL THE EXCITEMENT. WHEN I GOT HOME I NEEDED TO REST. DEPENDS ON THE SURGERY.
2006-07-19 06:38:03 · answer #10 · answered by makamaepohaku 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋