potty training for a 4 year old?

Question

I am a nanny for a 4 1/2 year old boy. The problem is, he isn't completly potty trained. he has no ploblem with peeing, but we always have to remind him every couple of hours to go. he won't go on his own. He won't poop in the toilet. He will literally hold it in for a week at a time, scream and cry when we make him sit on the toilet. He says he's not scared, just that he doesn't want to do it. He is horribly stubborn. How can i make him change? Its driving all of us nuts. We've literally tried everything. I've read plenty of articles, books on this issue and nothing works.

for the first 5 answers, everything has been tried. Except the fairy thing. He's too smart for that. and no, there is no learning disability and no health problems.

Answer 1

Oh boy!! 4.5 years and not even potty trainned yet!!?? He should have started when he was 1 or 1.5 years....this is the parents to blame. My 2 year old is pretty much there. The best thing to do is sit him on that seat until he goes...He is going to be starting school next year.....This is hard because every child is different...just keep asking him and try rewards...But if his parents dont follow through with this then he wont ever learn

Answer 2

At this point, i don't believe that you've a lot of a alternative except to take a wreck from potty training. It does not sound like he's emotionally in a position for potty coaching and it has probably grow to be a vigour battle now. Taking a damage from potty coaching doesn't suggest that he won't be potty expert before beginning preschool although. You would simply want a smash for a couple of weeks or months, after which that you would be able to get started once more. For the period of your potty coaching wreck, you could learn some books about potty coaching, in an effort to discover a system that you believe will work higher for the both of you. Furthermore to backing off, one factor that could be necessary is to 'ask your child to show you ways he would toilet coach a doll or stuffed animal.' It may also support to offer him extra selections about when he want to start using the potty again. When you consider that children at this age almost always like to imitate different children, it might also be helpful to take a look at a preschool or mom's day trip variety application now, so that he can use the potty when all of the different kids do. And due to the fact you could have each gotten so emotional over him making use of the potty, letting someone else teach him to make use of the potty perhaps a just right notion anyway.

Answer 3

Normally he would have been potty trained by now but all kids are different . Kando is a system where he gets a little book with a frog on the front of it and after some encouragement he will be rewarded with a sticker every time he pees and two stickers every time he poos. Also put a potty in the room where he plays and he again with the stickers and encouragement use it to pee and poo this will eliminate accidents on the way to the bathroom. after some time you will be wondering what the problem was. There is no point trying to train him, he with a little patience will want to do it himself.if you cant get your hands on the kandoo system just make up some sort of book and buy some glittery stickers.

Answer 4

He sounds as if he is not quite ready yet. It's a maturity thing not an age thing. He is still in CONTROL of when and where he goes and he is very well aware of that. You cannot MAKE him go on the potty, he has to WANT to. Stop trying so hard and give it a rest for a while. You may be surprised what happens. You are giving way too much attention to this. It's frustrating to you, but he doesn't have a problem with it right now. He will not wear diapers in Kindergarten!

Answer 5

You might just have to ignore this issue for awhile. While you've been coaxing him, he has learned that he can get lots of adult attention and that he has control regarding this issue. While no age is normal for potty training, at 4 1/2, he is starting to see himself as a separate being. Having the power to decide when and if he will potty makes him feel grown up. If you have to remind him about urinating, he might be too distracted to remember on his own. Try scaling back his daily activities for awhile so that he isn't so busy that he forgets to potty. As for the pooping, I assume if he isn't using the toilet, he must be soiling his pants. If so, don't rush to clean him up. Let him wear his poopy pants for awhile and be sure to comment on how bad he smells. You might be able to shame him into wanting to be cleaner. Sometimes, over zealous parents will force potty training on their boys far too early. They brag that the child is potty trained but that he still has accidents. This child is not potty trained by any means. And in my state, he is nearing the age of school. I'd put him back in diapers (which I bet he will hate), take away all his "big boy" benefits, and tell him that he has complete control over getting his big boy undies back. If this doesn't work, I'd get a referral from his pediatrician for a child psychologist that specializes in out of control children.

Answer 6

Three (two boys and one girl) of my four are now potty trained. I had a heck of a time with the first two. Here is what finally worked for us:

I let each of my kiddos make a little blank book with half sheets of construction paper. I punched two holes on one end of the stack of pages and helped them tie yarn through the holes to hold the pages together. Then they each decorated the front of their book.

Every time they pooped in the potty, they got to pick a sticker to put in their new blank book. The sticker deal was for pooping only and we used other rewards for other good behavior. That way, the focus was on learning to poop in the potty.

We had tried charts with stickers, but that just didn't work. The books were special to them because they hand made them and they were proud to earn stickers to fill them.

If he doesn't like stickers, consider another reward that will be special to him and restrict that reward only to pooping in the potty.

For my daughter, when she continued to have pee accidents, I told her that if she went for a certain amount of days without peeing in her pants, I would let her pick out her own underwear at the store. She did and they were special to her because she picked them herself. In the morning, she would put on her special panties. If she peed in them, she was changed into the plane panties that I had picked. This encouraged her not to pee her pants because she wanted to wear the ones she picked.

Answer 7

Tell him that he is a big boy, so he has to use the potty like a big boy. He will start school soon, remind him that you guys won't be there for when he has to use the potty. Tell him that it can make his tummy hurt as well. You could also make up some kind of cute poop story like, the poop fairies live in the potty. If you don't go poo poo, they won't have any food to eat. =]

Answer 8

This is his way of holding on to being a baby, also everyone can tell him what to do, but this is the one thing that he has control over. You may not agree with this and you may think its a little gross, but one thing I did with my son was let him run around the house naked. I did this because he knew he couldn't go on the floor, and if he had pulls up or underwear on he considered them diapers and would go in them. However my son was 2 years old yours is 4 1/2 so he probably will go put his own close on.

Answer 9

its possible he is not ready yet. some boys are slow at potty training a younger sibling going thru this ( potty training helps them want to do it and succuud) you could use the reward system to remmbering to use the toileta treat at the end of day for going on his own with out a reminder may help bowl movements ask him why he won't go maybe his tummy hurts when he goes or it feels strange all kids are different

Answer 10

4 years old? That's too old for that kind of behavior. Tell the child's parents about it. It's their job to make sure the child is fully potty trained. Even though you are the nanny, the kid is old enough to know that you are not his mom (or dad), and you can't MAKE him do anything. I have a very stubborn 4 year old, myself, so I know how hard-headed they can be, but this case is ridiculous. Leave this one to the parents.