I was in prison the last 2 years and am trying to start over. I have no problems with the way I look and go to the gym everyday to keep it up. But is all that moot when I tell a girl that I've just been released?
2006-07-19 05:51:50 · 18 answers · asked by Compulsory23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have a very hard road ahead of you. As you have already probably found out, the concept that you can just "pay your debt to society" and then get on with your life just isn't true. Society generally doesn't forgive ex-convicts: people find any excuse to not hire you, to avoid you, and/or to make trouble for you. It may take some time before the general public around you stops thinking of you as a criminal. This is greatly unfair, but it is the truth.
It is probably unwise for you to tell a girl about your prison time before she has gotten to know you well. Let her see all your good traits. Perhaps you might even have to lie about where you were during those years until you feel she knows you well enough to accept you no matter what. One thing that will make a big difference in how others treat you is whether your conviction was a one-time experience or just another mark on a lengthy rap sheet. It will be quite hard for you to overcome the stigma of being a repeat offender if that is the case; but it is not completely impossible.
2006-07-19 06:10:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't turn me away from a guy instantly. In fact on the first date the guy I'm seeing told me he has a felony on his record. Oh well. Sh*t happens, people make mistakes. BUT I gave him a chance ONLY because he is now a different person, he stays out of trouble, has a good career, his own place that he owns, cleaned up no drugs or alcohol, financially stable, etc. If you are JUST released I'm not sure of your living/financial situation, for myself personally, its not so much the fact you were in prison, but where you are now that would be a determining factor.
2006-07-19 05:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it would depend what the prison stay was for... there are stupidity offences that someone is not likely to reoffend, and there is more serious, habitual stuff that sends up a great big red flag. My partner was incarcerated for drugs offences and when I met him I was wary, however, his continual efforts to improve himself and stay clean convinced me to give the relationship a try and I have never regretted that decision. Had he been in jail for child abuse or sexual assault, I probably would not have given him a chance since I have small children and that would be a risk to their safety. There are women out there that will give a guy a chance, just depends on the woman. Best of luck to you!!
2006-07-19 05:59:09 · answer #3 · answered by hippiemommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't for me. I actually like a guy who's been in a little trouble and was man enough to take his responsibility for his actions. My guy was in prison for a total of 4 years and is about to go back and do another 9 months. I'm not running away because I couldn't call myself a woman if I did that.
Of course it all depends on the crime that the person in prison committed.
2006-07-19 05:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by BbyGrl80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It definitely puts my guard up. It's only understandable for people to have reservations about someone who was just released from prison. What was your charge? That would play a huge part in my decision whether to give you a try.
If you committed a violent crime then I would walk away. There is not much to say about someones character if they have hurt another person. You're trying to change and start over? Prove it.
2006-07-19 06:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I'm being honest, for me it would. There are women out there though who enjoy the thrill of a prison man.
In your case it might work better for you, if you held off that little piece of information for a month or two, until the girl really got to know you. If you're a good guy, they'll stay around. Don't wait too long though or it might be worse.
2006-07-19 05:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by Holly p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends what you were in for I guess. Also, you need to have your life on track, job, car, etc. Girls like stability.
I would probably wait to tell a girl if I was you. I mean, I would leave it out of the introduction, you know? Wait until after a couple convos maybe.
Good luck, I'm sure you will meet a good girl.
2006-07-19 05:55:46 · answer #7 · answered by Kitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least your able to be honest with them. If they don't like the fact that you were in prison then you probably don't want to be with them anyway. I am sure you will meet the right person soon. Good Luck
2006-07-19 05:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by big&rich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not me i mean i might get alittle scared from time to tiem cause i think man hopefully he doesn't **** me up but then again what did you go to jail for? i mean if it was for rape and **** like that then yeah i think you should stay away from women but if you went to jail for like gta then naw. I mean if these females that you meet dont' even bother to ask you what you went to jail for then you dont' want that girl by yourside they are pansies and can not ride. I in tern would help you out and try to deal with it as best as i could. Then again i live in oakland ca. where everyone is fighting a case. so its' the norm here i guess.
2006-07-19 05:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by oaklandolee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
K.Branden23,
I think that it would probably make a girl feel pretty nervous, unless you were upfront and open about what happened. There are a lot of people who have been jailed in our population. I think that the important thing that a girl would be concerned about is what you did and will you do it again.
--Rick
2006-07-19 06:00:48 · answer #10 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋