Would you date a guy who is a bad tipper?

Question

I recently went out with a guy who left a $5.00 tip for a $73.00 meal; it totally turned me off. When his back was turned as we left I put $15.00 on the table. I have decided not to see him again.

For those inquiring about the service, it was excellent! He is an established business owner, money wasn't the issue. I think he was just being cheap.

To MrKnowItAll,

We "clicked", because he asked me on another date. The reason it upset me so is because waiters and waitresses make little to no money and depend on those tips to pay their bills. If you're not going to leave a decent tip, then you shouldn't eat at nice restaurants. I don't think I'm being too picky or a diva, I just believe in treating people fairly.

Answer 1

It's both rude to the waiter/waitress and it's embarrassing. There are certain things I shouldn't have to teach a grown man: 1)proper hygiene, 2)appropriate gift giving, 3)how to pay his bills and 4)how to tip. Everyone knows that waitstaff don't get paid well. Most don't even make minimum wage because it is expected that they will make up the difference (and some) in tips. That's why they are supposed to claim tips on their income tax statements!

You say he's a business owner, so he should know better. If you somewhat enjoyed his company, maybe he's someone you keep as a friend, not a potential boyfriend.

I believe in being frugal, trust me. But if you are going out, tipping is part of the deal. There's not much worse than a cheap man.

Answer 2

I know we're not obligated to leave a tip in this culture, but it would make me wonder about my date..I do think (for etiquette purposes) when two people are out on a date, first impressions are a bit crucial, and whether the service was poor or excellent, he should have tipped a decent amount. My bf and I usually tip 10% for a poor service and 15% for an excellent service. I could understand why you were turned off. You can't help but wonder if how he tips is a reflection on his views and personality, and that is fine.. I don't think you're wrong for not wanting to see him again. You have a right to be picky and make sure you get involved w/someone who sets a good example of your ideal guy. Good luck, I hope your next date will be a better experience and tips more decently.






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Answer 3

Realistically I wouldn't know if a guy is a bad tipper unless I went to dinner with him first. If I liked everything else about him, except this, I would probably make some kind of sarcastic remark, like I do. I am assuming that if I'm at the table with him, I am receiving the same level of service he is and if I feel good about the service and feel the wait staff is entitled to a better tip, I would definitely say something. But no, I wouldn't be caught dead with a cheapskate!!!

Answer 4

I agree with the other person's comment about if you look at how they treat the waiter, that's how they'll treat you. A person's treatment of a waiter is very different on how they're treating you, especially if it's the first few dates, becasue they want to impress you. They dont care about impressing the waiter, because that's not their focus at the time. The waiter is someone they would handle in everyday life and they do it subconsciously. So, if you want a good idea of how the person really is, look at their subconscious behavior, like tipping.
I always tip really well, and I had a female friend who would always make comments about it and say "why do you always leave so much for a tip?" and that was a clue to me. So I retorted back "why do you not care about helping someone who helped you? and why are you so cheap?" *shrugs* we're no longer friends.

Answer 5

It depends, I can't stand a bad tipper either, but maybe you can talk to him about it and explain that waiters do not make minimum wage. Maybe he is just ignorant. His reaction to that conversation would tell you if bad tipping is just the tip of the iceburg or (if he is willing to change), you may have found a good guy.

Answer 6

I think that's a wise decision. Dave Barry put it really well: "A person who is rude to the waiter, but nice to you, is not a nice person." At the first-few-dates stage, guys are trying to impress you. He was giving you a hint of what he'll show when he gets comfortable after a few months.

And to the first respondent--if the guy's that short on cash, it's better if he takes her to Shoney's or Applebee's or something, then gives the server an adequate tip. (Which would be that five dollars, probably.)

Answer 7

He may not have been able to afford the tip, or he may not have considered it good service. Why tip if you don't feel the service as all that great for an expensive meal? Don't try to control someone else's habits. That tip may have been reasonable to him and that is okay too. The waiter or waitress will be okay. You may be passing up a great guy for a characteristic that really does not count in a relationship.

Answer 8

Well give the guy a chance and let him know why you felt uncomfortable. Many people haven't been taught about tipping and think little of their actions. If your looking for a reason not to be in a relationship; start examining yourself first prior to dating others. However; if the guy is worth hanging around; educate him and be happy with each other.

Answer 9

Heck, I would just be excited that I got a darn good meal--if it was good, and I would be excited if I liked the guy and if he was nice to me. Forget the tip thing. I know it is proper to tip, but some people only believe in giving so much. Just ask him about it. If he is a nice guy he will explain. If you feel uncomfortable about that and you decided not to see him again, then you probably shouldn't b/c I bet is not the only reason why you don't like the guy. There has to be more to it than that (tip problem).

Answer 10

You did not mention how good the service was or if that was all the money he had. I am shocked you can expect people to answer a question with so little information. And how can you judge him after just one dinner date. I think he is the lucky one to not have to worry about dating one so narrow minded as you. Lord knows I do not need anyone with such a shallow personality as a friend.You really ought to be a shamed of yourself for judging him like that. I bet you judge people by the car they drive and the color of their skin and where they live.