How can I stop paying for sex?

Question

I have paid dor sex several times and broke my virginity in a brothel. I regret doing it and will be condemed by nearly everyone for the rest of my life. I have had a HIV test but was clear. I feel that I am a loser to the opposite sex and too gulity to get a girlfriend so then I get tempted to pay for sex again, then I get another guilt trip. It is one big circle with me. I am going to hell for what I have done.

Someone has commented that women don't like men with low self esteem. I like my food but I hate that part, it is okay for women to have low self esteem but for men, no. I get confused what should I be, arrogant or a loser or in between? I am confident with my self. I have recently graduated and now looking for a professional job, but feel that I try and do everything to have high self esteem but women still see me as a loser.

I have been to counseling, I was asked if I wanted to go to see a sex therapist, but I was too embarrsed as I am only 21. I know the only way to solve my problem is if I have friends but feel that no one wants to know me. Also because I have been brought up in the church and then stopped going I find it very hard to go back to church now. As someone said on here about yahoo answers helping me out of this problem, I think it could help.

Answer 1

Okay, it sounds like the root of your problem is that you now believe since your previous sexual experiences were with paid professionals, you're somehow unworthy of a loving relationship.

I am in absolutely no position to make any real psychological evaluations, including the above statement, but my honest gut feeling is that this problem is not something you'll be able to resolve through Yahoo! Answers. I believe this one is going to take some sort of professional counseling. I don't know if such an option is available to you already through school or work, but honestly, even if it isn't, it's going to be well worth the money you spend on sessions if it will break you out of your current mindset. Forget about whether you're going to Hell after you die - I fear you're going to end up in a *living* Hell right here and now if you don't seek treatment for your issues.

Answer 2

Listen man, you are not going to hell. Dont let anyone lay that trip on you. Life is about many chances and opportunities. If you want to break the cycle change. Even if it is slow. Slow change is better than no change. Besides no one is you. I'm not promoting prostitution but look on the bright side. Know this too.
You are certainly not the first man who went to a brothel the first time. Know yourself! Love yourself! You are good! There is a woman out there for you Go to the mall or something!

Answer 3

You seem to be suffering from low self esteem. If you continue paying for sex then you will never find a descent girl. Start going out with friends more and staying away from brothels and you will meet that special lady. Start believing in your own self worth and don't continue putting yourself down. Good luck x

Answer 4

Not if you repent. First stop saying that your a loser becuase your not. If your not hott that can be changed just get a makeover. I mean come on you can't be that ugly can you. try and not pay for sex instead go on dates its better. Ask your friends to hook you up. Your right about one thing you will have guilt all over you if you dont get your self together. Try clubing theirs always females there. Remember HIV isn't something you can cure.

Answer 5

Hey buddy! Im not going to say its okay. But Im sure your not alone. Everyone is tempted by fleshly desires. You wont go to hell if you repent and ask forgiveness from God. He's already forgiven you you just need to ask and mean it from the heart. In the meantime if you don't want to struggle with this anylonger then you should tell someone in the church to keep you accountable. (someone you trust you feel is not going to judge you) then pray for strength and self-control. Nobody is perfect, and everyone struggles with some kind of addiction. You are addicted. Its just like being an alcoholic or drug addict. You need to seek help if you want to overcome this problem. Get over the guilt there is no need to beat yourself up for it. Seek help. Get in to reading your bible everyday. This will help strengthen you.. And go to church and get involved. This wont take away the temptation but if you ask God to help you daily, seek him and seek help you can overcome it. Dont let your shame bring you to depression, thats what the enemy (Satan wants you to feel) He doesn't want you to feel joy in your life, he wants to rob you of everything you have. And you will forever be enticed by this fleshly desire until you seek Jesus. I can pray for you. Please seek help before you get any STDS or become really sick. Many blessings to you. :)

Answer 6

First off, adultery or fornication is not the unforgivable sin. Ask and it will be given. Paying for sex can have a number of reasons, many already mentioned - psychological are the main reasons, the physical act just satisfies the mind issues that tempt you.

Answer 7

Sounds like you need to have a little talk with Jesus to avoid the hell part. It will help you with your sex problems too. Try and get some confidence as well. Girls won't like you unless you like yourself. Make them think that there is something there worth liking, and the right girl will come along and you will forget about your hooker issues.

Answer 8

Sounds like you're very lonely, besides you can get a toy and play with it if you can't get a gf.

Ask yourself how do you feel about it, and if you wanna keep doing it... if it makes you happy then why stop it?

in the other hand you should save that money and spend it with your future gf or something for you.

Sex is not everything, is something, is a commiment, is something to be share with someone you do care.

Answer 9

Don't think that you have to pay for sex, there is a person in this world for everyone.. you'll find someone and fall in love soon.. try to avoid the temptation when you get the urge think about how awful it feels after you pay for it.. and don't listen to these people who are saying you are going to hell.. everyone makes mistakes.. that is the only way that we learn and discover who we truly are.. goodluck :)

Answer 10

There are some youthful adult males I delight in and considering they're only starting up out in existence or are college scholars they have not as a lot money to play with as I actual have. I under no circumstances experience "used" in taking them out for an effective meal or to ascertain a tutor they couldn't arise with the money for in the different case. a great number of older human beings did an similar for me even as i became an undergraduate. They loved my business enterprise and in certain circumstances somewhat sex. I under no circumstances considered the sex I gave as being in compensation, nor (i think particular) did they. In my worldly travels I actual have had sex with some employ boys and it became interesting! They knew what they were doing. yet i doesn't have made the mistakes of falling for one in each and every of them. the issue is you each and every and each and every see your relationship in a distinct mild. a youthful, large searching guy may delight in having an older chum and under no circumstances imagine of him as a sugar daddy, yet will nevertheless anticipate to get some thing in go back. you pick to be better reasonable about your relationships. (and per chance about human beings in most circumstances)