Why don't people dress better for first dates?

Question

I am meeting a guy today that seems very nice and stuff and we are meeting today. I know you should't judge a person by what they wear and we do live in a hot climate but the fact that he said he is wearing shorts kinda bothers me. We are only meeting for a casual date and it is ok to wear shorts there but I just feel a person should dress a little better for a date. I always try to put an effort in and wish I could meet a guy who would do the same. Why can't a guy put on a pair of pants and a halfway decent shirt and not baseball hat? I think shorts are for the beach and outside and not in very good taste when meeting someone for the first time. People say it is important to be comfortable and I agree to some extent but there has to be a line between comfort and being dressed decent.

As far as being comfortable, well a bra is unfortable in this hot weather so I guess in the name of comfort, I should go braless and maybe barefoot too because that is more comfortable.

I will be wearing hosiery and be fully clothes and hey I will be walking to the public transport in the hot sun where as this guy will be driving an airconditioned car so why is he gonna get any hotter than I? I am sick of spoiled people who have to go around half dressed because it's hot and they spend most of their time in ac anyway. I spend alot of time in the hot so I guess I should go around topless because heck the guys can do it.

Answer 1

I agree with you and i hate it aswell.It just makes you think other person doesnt care at all.

Answer 2

I think part of the reason has to be the vibe you set off. If you seem like the type that's laid back and the location of the date seems to warrant the dress code then I can see why shorts are his choice.

But for me, on a first date, if I don't know the place, I might ask my date what she's wearing, so I can get an idea and I won't be underdressed.

After all, a first date is kinda like a job interview. If you want the job you gotta make a good impression. What better way than showing a little class.

You only get one chance to make a first impression!

Answer 3

It sounds like there's a conflict of philosophies at work here. I can understand the idea of dressing nicely for a first date, on the grounds that doing so reflects that this is a meaningful occasion for you. Your "guy", however, may instead believe it's more important that you see as much of "the real him" as possible - he may believe that dressing nicely, if he doesn't do so all the time, is a form of dishonesty because it presents an atypical image of him, and he'd rather not start off a dating relationship with dishonesty.

It's really hard to say that one philosophy is better than the other. Good luck connecting with him as a human being.

Answer 4

My Dear I could not agree with you more. I owned a nice bar/restaurant for 5 years and was constantly appalled by how sloppy the men were (especially considering that women invariably looked good and always made a nice effort to dress up) I had men in flip-flops, shorts, tee-shirts, camo wife beaters! you name it. I have a 13 YO son and I have tried to instill some basic sensibilities in him. He knows first hand that a basic black suit can be the center piece of a very small wardrobe. Dressed up with a tie for work or weddings, open collar for a cocktail party, dressed down with jeans. I can't tell you how many men blow it by looking like slobs, in the end it is also the fact that many women accept these slobs that allow them to get away with it. Draw the line and say "I'm sorry you thought this was so casual, call me when you can get a change of clothes" boycott slobs!

Answer 5

i completely agree with you, but there is no proof that the way a person dresses dictates the way they truly are, but there are exceptions, first dates you always try to make a good impression but, don't overdress, you end up looking like an asshole, if you underdress you'll look like a slob, the best thing is to be yourself, but look decent and never wear shorts and a cap to a restaurant unless it's the middle of the day, on the beach and it's outside. My reasoning of the cloths "make the person" is you could dress Paris Hilton in a nuns outfit and she'll still look be a whore, sometimes the person's personae tells you all about them so see who they are for what they are and I promise you'll be happy. I'm married and my wife is beautiful and I'm not exactly a prize catch but she is maddly inlove with me because of who I am and we're also expecting a baby in Feb., so my advice, follow your heart.

Answer 6

Ya know, its funny... I would say i dress like a bum, even though im not. I like to casual shoes or boots, jeans with a few tears in them, and a t-shirt.... maybe once in a while a short sleeve button up shirt or something, but still on the casual side. The way i look at it is, i want the girl to like me for who i am. Sure i could go drop 300 bucks on a nice suit to impress her, and it might work, but i know that eventually she is going to see the 'real' me... and i would just rather have her see that person right away... save all the BS. Job interviews are different, as Bullshitting the HR person or perspective employer is the name of the game. When it comes to relationship, honesty is key, not just in words but in displaying yourself as well..

Answer 7

Though true, don't judge the book by its cover. When my wife first met me, I was wearing brown/green shorts, and a Ty died Detroit Tigers T-Shirt, that was light blue and bright orange, with a huge Tiger coming through the English D on the logo. She told her mother about how I was dressed, and her mother wouldn't have believed it had it not been for the fact that it was the exact same thing I wore when I came to pick her up for our first date to Tiger Stadium back in 1998. We have been happily married for five years, and my color coordination is much better now then it was back then. I just ask that if this guy isn't dressed prim and proper, that you don't gage your first impressions solely on that. I sure as hell am glad my wife didn't.

Answer 8

It's not just on first dates, but also job interviews, church, etc. Drives me nuts, too.

My ex boyfriend wouldn't even wear a suit to his own father's funeral (yes, he's an ex for a reason). His reasoning was that he wanted to be comfortable. I think people are so focused on "me, me, me, I, and me" and the need to feel personally comfortable that they overlook social custom.

I'm certainly not an old-fogey (I'm 29), and I also live in a hot climate (Texas), yet I manage to not melt and wear more appropriate clothing.

Maybe it was the way I was raised, but I honestly don't feel that jeans or shorts are appropriate attire for most situations. And certainly not job interviews, church, blind dates, etc!

The phrase may be trite, but "you never get a second chance to make a first impression."

Answer 9

He could still be wearing shorts and still look nice. My fiance wears khaki shorts a lot with button up short sleeve shirts. And just the other day one of his friends wive commented him on how he dressed and said that she always thought he looked nice. If you it's hot outside, why wear pants when he doesn't have to. He's not expecting you to wear pants, you'll probably won't wear a long anything when you meet him. Besides if he wears pants, then he'll be hot and grumpy and not himself.

Answer 10

I completely agree. What the heck ever happened to trying to make a good first impression. Men are just slobs for the most part. Shorts, t-shirts,ball caps and flips flops should never be on a first date.

Answer 11

Hmmm... I disagree here. Guys can't put on a dress or a skirt the way we do in warm weather, and shorts are their equivalent. If they're nice enough to wear to the country club, then why not on a first, casual date?