I`m a boy, and I`ve got one big problem - I like boys. I don`t want to be gay, how can I change myself?

Question

I don`t want to be gay! I`ve never in my life had something with a boy, some contact or whatever, but how can I stop that? How can I make myself like girls?

Answer 1

You cannot make yourself like girls except by denying yourself who you really are if you are gay. You are who you are. You might just be going through a phase, or you might truly be gay. Either way, it is not anything to worry about. With time, you will figure out your sexual preference and will come to accept it if you are gay. Embrace who you are regardless of what other people might think. The only way you are going to be happy is being who you are, whether that is straight or gay. It is nothing to be ashamed of if you are gay. Peace

Answer 2

I am undergoing what you are undergoing too. I'm trying to change who I am - a gay. It's hard. It takes a lot of willpower, self-control. At least you are a good boy. You never had anything with guys ever in your life. Good. It will take a long time to change. You will need all the help you can get. But ultimately, you are the only one who can change yourself. At most, I can only advice you. You are doing it all. If you can achieve this, you have achieve more than you can imagine. It's also a good thing that you realises your problem! A lot of gay boys don't. That makes you different from them. You stand for your rights. If you are a believer, pray, go for services. Share your problem with your best friend. Ultimately, you can help yourself and if you are a believer, God can help you better. So, walk with care. Remember, self-control is very important when you come across a guy that you suddenly like. I have faith in you. All the best.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, being gay is still a hard life to live in most areas of the US.

But, you can't make yourself like girls. I have some gay men friends and they all say they were born this way and they knew they were gay from a young age.

You are going to have to, somehow, realize that you are a good person and just b/c you are attracted to men does not mean you aren't normal. You are perfectly normal.

The worse thing you can do is live a lie and deny yourself the true love and happiness you want. You will not only hurt yourself, but you will hurt the girl you are in a relationship with.

Go to a gay venue and find some gay friends and give yourself the opportunity to experience what you obviously want. As you become more comfortable with yourself, you will see you made the right decision for you.

Answer 4

Relax. That's the first thing to do. You have to let time pass so that you get the possibility to know what this is. If you fell in love with this guy? Have you ever been in love with a girl? How could you tell the difference. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? An openminded grown person - maybe a gay person if you know onw - who can tell you a little about how it is. Give this time and dont panic.

By the way - you cannot make yourself liking girls if you are gay - it will end up a disaster for you and the girl eventually : /

Answer 5

You can't change who you're attracted to. We're all like that. I cannot just consciously choose to be attracted to Roseanne Barr, or any other unattractive woman. Or a man.

So, what can you do?

I suggest joining some support groups. Maybe you're not really gay, and you're having some infatuations. Study groups have claimed that people typically have some homoerotic fantasies, even straight people. These groups can help you deal with these feelings.

More importantly, these groups can help you come to terms if you really are gay. You need to prepare for that realization. If you're having these conflicting thoughts, there may be a reason for it.

As for not wanting to be gay, I can understand. It is a difficult subset of the human race to be. Black people in the 50s probably didn't want to be black, but they had no choice. Society is filled with bigots, and they will target you. If it's any consolation, everyone is targeted in one way or another, even whites, males, and hets. If you are indeed gay, you'll have some difficult times ahead, and I do not envy you that.

If you want to try to like girls, you could date some. Don't try to force it, or you'll be miserable. But hang out with them. Get to first base and see how it feels. If you don't feel a fire, then girls may not be for you.

It's important that you don't deny who you are. A lot of people commit suicide because they don't want to be gay. They try to conform to what society wants, and they suffer horribly because of it.

Edit: You may or may not find this link useful: http://tinyurl.com/hde4l
Many times I hear people (mostly religious nuts) tell gays to just stop being gay. So, I asked people how do you just make yourself straight. As you can see, no one had an answer to that question. I'm afraid you won't get the answer you seek either.

Answer 6

Sorry but you'll have to accept yourself the way you are.
Sexual orientation can not be changed at will.
I wish you the best but don't you go making a women very miserable because of your problem with reality.
This would surely happen if you convinced yourself that you were "cured "of being Gay and married some poor girl.
Be a man about it.Wake up and smell the coffee.

Answer 7

We don't choose whom we are going to be attracted to. People don't wake up one morning and say "oh I'm going to be heterosexual" or "I think I'll be gay".

We like who we like...we can choose to interact with others and have relationships with those we don't feel strongly attracted to, but that doesn't change who we are inside or who we are truly drawn to.

You're a boy, as you said so don't put so much pressure on yourself just yet...take time to find out more about yourself...if you only are attracted to other males, then what is who you are...you can choose to date women, but if there is no attraction, what's the point?

Be you...and be the best you that you can be...people will respect you much more for being yourself, than trying to be something you're not (and you'll enjoy life a lot more as well)...

Answer 8

Ask yourself these questions to get started:

Why do you think you are gay? What are the signs you are looking at? ( Most, if not all guys, have thought about homosexual acts with other guys. I have thought about it alot but I don't rubber neck when I see a guy like I do with girls. Guys will fantasize about anything )

Why do you think you are gay? What do you think is the cause? (Psycologists have found many experiences that can cause someone to have homosexual desires such as a distant father and overly demanding mother. It would be a good idea to find a counselor or therapist who is open and willing to discuss your homosexuality as something you can change. )

Answer 9

Guess what. You have no choice. Attraction is not a choice. It is something within us we can never explain for both male and females.

I am not gay but have know gay people. One was married to a woman, had children and was a professor in a local collage. He tried to deny his feelings and I guess hid it from his wife pretty well. But they finally came out and he had to admit he was gay. He lost his family and move to another city. I have no idea if that was the reason but it could have been.

Don't lie to yourself for having the feelings you do. You may get away with it for awhile but it will come back to haunt you.

Answer 10

You can no more change that then say someone that likes fat people or someone that likes tall people. We like what we like. That is the way of life. There is no cure for emotions. Anyone you tells you otherwise would be lying to you. While we can pretend to be something we are not, in life we will always be who we are inside. No matter how much conditioning you do, you will always like boys. even if you never go out with one, it does not change that. And forcing yourself to go out with girls could cause even larger problems later.