Is this rude to do?

Question

We sent out our invitations for our mid-August wedding in the beginning of June. We asked for RSVP's by July 19th (today). We invited close to 200 people (mostly family) and we have only had a few different people RSVP, and know about 60 people are coming for sure. Now, a ton (29 couples, most have kids) havent RSVPed and thats a possibility of 70 more people to the list if they did come. Well, the problem is, we are having food catered, and we need to tell the caterer at the end of the month how many people will be there (we are serving dinner) but we dont want to order for a bunch of people who never show. My mom and my fiance's mom offered to call the people on the list who didnt RSVP, and see if they are coming and just forgot. Is this rude to do? We really need to know, but I dont want to sound rude or pushy about it.

the bad thing is, i supplied them with a stamped envelope, my phone number, OR my email to RSVP... that way it was easy for them...

Answer 1

It's not rude at all - the people that didn't RSVP are the rude ones! You can't expect to feed 70 people that show up unannounced and that is exactly what will happen if they do decide to come. I would call them ASAP and in my case I would be rude about it - 'hey I supplied the damn stamp you could at least have checked the not attending and mailed it back to save me some stress here!' With all the crap and stress of a wedding this close you don't need this additional crap to be worried about! Some people!! I hope you get it all worked out and have a wonderful wedding and a great life with your bridegroom (after all the stress!)

Answer 2

When you have a wedding you have to expect that at least a 1/4 of the people won't show. I have experienced that you will get some rsvp's after the fact so wait until the end of the month and maybe plan for a little more then the rsvp's you have received

Answer 3

Not rude at all. It's more rude to not RSVP to an invitation for such an important event. Take your mother and mother-in-law up on their offers to give the unknowns a friendly call to find out if they're attending. You're perfectly within the bounds of etiquette to do so, though I would suggest waiting a few days before beginning to make calls -- you very well may get an influx of responses as people realize the response date was close, and then you won't seem as though you're being overbearing by calling the day after the response deadline.

Answer 4

No, it's not rude. You will never get everybody to RSVP, it's really sad how people are. Your mom and fiance's mom offering to call people is really great, that takes away from some of your stress. Tell them to start calling right away. My wedding was on June 10 of this year, and we had to call a few people, too. It is so annoying. Even stamping the envelopes for them still isn't enough...lol.

Answer 5

No, its really not rude at all. Everyone should know about weddings... you need lots of time to plan everything. Just ask those who haven't RSVP'd, if you sent the invite out to the right place, I found that a few people who I invited to my wedding never got the invite because I had the wrong address, some,well they just forgot to send back the RSVP. So give them a call, these are your close friends, they'll understand getting a call about something this important, if not, enjoy your wedding and dont worry about it. By the way.... CONGRATS!!

Answer 6

It's definitely not rude to do unless your moms are planning to be mean about it but I doubt that. Just a call to ask if they know whether or not they'll be attending is really not rude.

I hope they are able to get ahold of everyone in time. When it came down to a week before my wedding my mom and I sat down and just guessed about the rest of the people and actually we ended up guessing right, which is pretty cool...considering there were 40 people who didn't RSVP and we couldn't reach by phone.

Answer 7

I don't think it's rude, my husband & I got married a month ago & decided that we would feed our guests & like you we sent our stamped envelopes along with 3 different phone numbers to reach us at, when the date to give the caterer the number of guests approached, we just called those who didn't RSVP by the date & kindly explained to them that if they didn't RSVP that they would not be eating with us. It's your money being spent on the food & you did send a stamped envelope & a number to be reached at, so I say call.

Answer 8

You should absolutely call these rude people who couldn't be bothered to call, email, or mail back their response card. It never ceases to amaze me how many people don't get their responses back on time for a wedding. Keep in mind that your guests are the rude ones, not you for calling, you have to have a head count for your caterer. Just wait til the actual wedding, you'll be shocked at how many people who say they are coming don't show up, for whatever lame reason and if you tell the caterer a lower number you'll have rude people who show up with an extra guest. This is the worst part of planning a wedding, dealing with the guest list.

Answer 9

We just got married in June and ran into the same problem. People don't typically RSVP by the date on the card if at all, no matter how many ways of communication you provide them to do so with. It is not rude in any way to call people and just politley remind them about the wedding and ask if they plan on attending, it is much beter to have too much food then not enough.

Congrats and Good luck!

Answer 10

I don't think it's rude. Just make sure whoever calls explains the situation to them, and tell the person that you really need to know, so you can order the food. Of course if I was getting married I would just say if you want to go you must RSVP or have a very good excuse for not rsvping (like the person fell & broke his or her writing arm!) But that's just me. Most people wouldn't be that mean to their family & friends.