What should I tell my friend about spending more of my money on her wedding?

Question

I have been her wedding planner for free, but I have spent over $500 on decorations and flowers, she needs more stuff bought and I dont think I should buy it. What do I tell her or what do I do?

Answer 1

Yeah you need to say something. Ok here's what I would do;
Next time it comes up in conversation, where she wants you do do or get her something, say;
"Becky, you know I'd love to help you, there's only one problem. I starting to run low on funds...I've already spent $500.00 helping you out and to be honest, I don't have that sort of money to spare at the moment."


That's the way I'd go about it. I'm pretty clear about these things in the beginning though. Also, you're the only one that know's your friend. You'll have to think about her personality before you address the situation.

If at all possible, get it in writting - Just incase she has a change of heart later. It's sad to say, but I see it all the time (I'm a Court Tv Fanatic)

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Just because you are the wedding planner doesn't mean you should be spending the money on the wedding. Maybe you could bring her the suggestions and have her pay for the items. From my understanding a wedding planner gets paid for her time and suggestions as well as the contacts. Sometimes the wedding planner gets everything in motion. However, the couple still ends up paying for everything. So it's extremely nice that you are helping your friend plan her wedding, but she should really be paying for the expenses. She might be expecting to pay for them and just doesn't know how much you have spent on her just yet. If I were you, I'd have a heart to heart with her and see what she expects and what you can do and make sure there is an understanding between the two of you. Otherwise, it could get out of hand and hurt a friendship.

Answer 3

Did you volunteer your time? Did you volunteer your money? If "no" on the money, just give her a statement of what was bought. Make a list of the new items she needs and sit down with her and discuss the price and who will pay for it. Bring up that you've spend $500 and your budget is broke...that is your wedding present to her. Don't pay another dime of your $$ for this event. She's lucky to have someone to help her out...and seems like you've done more than enough. You're gonna have to be straight-up with her because she's probably not even thinking about the bucks right now with the wedding on her mind. Don't enable her to suck everyone dry during this event.

Answer 4

I think it's a really bad idea to be her wedding planner for free. Helping her is one thing but paying for stuff is another. I know it's hard to say no to your friends but you need to either chock what you already spent up as a loss or ask for the money. From here on out I strongly reccomend not spending anymore money that you don't know if you'll get back. Be willing to shop with her and pick out things or help her out when it comes to ideas but until you have a clear agreement, don't put anymore money out there.

Answer 5

Since you say she's your friend and you don't seem angry, I'm going to assume that she's a pretty nice person. She probably just didn't realize that you spent so much. You should tell her that you know she's stressed out and she has a lot to deal with...and you hate to bug her about it but you don't have the cash to front for her wedding. Tell her that you need to be paid back before you can buy anything else and work out a plan for her to pay you back for those things too. For example you can bring her the receipt for whatever you buy and she can pay you back within one week.

I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding and she has a lot on her mind - but don't be afraid to speak up for yourself. You don't want to end up in the position where you've paid for half her wedding. In the end you shouldn't be out any expenses except maybe gas money...she should reimburse you for everything.

And also please let her know soon! Eventually you'll get to the point where it just makes you angry all the time and it could build up to ruin the friendship - you definitely don't want it to get there so go talk to her! Good luck!

Answer 6

Just list what needs to be bought and present the invoice to her as any other wedding planner would. Don't bother mentioning what you have spent and how she needs to spend her money now as you shouldn't have to spend anymore.

Just be a planner and invoice your client. And do it with a smile on your face.

Brides can be crazy but you want to be friends after all of this so stay civil.

Answer 7

You need to sit her down and tell her the truth. It's not your wedding, why should you be buying everything for her? She needs to cough up money and buy her own items for her wedding. Tell her that a normal wedding planner would not pay for anything so why should she think that you would as well?? You need to stop this now before it gets to be even more money!!

Answer 8

I am a Personal Bridal Buyer and I NEVER spend my own money! The bride tells me what she wants and I send her the pricing information. They are aware that no order will be placed until the balance is paid in full.

Your friend could easily get either a Visa or Mastercard gift card with a couple thousand dollars (or so) and give that to you to buy what she wants. That way, you're not out anymore money. Otherwise, all of the decorations are yours until she pays for them.

Good luck!

Answer 9

You need to spit it out, or you're gonig to end up pissed.
Sit down with her and write out an honest budget of what else is going to need to be purchased for the wedding. Come to an agreement on what you will and wil not pay for so that when it comes up she is not giving you the deer in the headlights look when money comes up. Be as detailed as possible about the list.
If you don't, by the time the wedding comes around she will be completely oblivious to why you have become resentful.

Answer 10

Why you bought anything is a mystery to me. You should have told her in the beginning that you'd help her plan, but not pay for it. If you have some suggestions for her, let her know what they are (in writing is better so she can keep looking back to it). If you can provide prices too, that would be great. It sounds like you're being a good friend, but it's not your responsibility to pay. I'd just tell her (nicely) that you're willing to help her plan, but can't spend any more. What's she going to do? Be 'mad' at you for not buying her stuff? Naw. She'd be grateful that you helped her plan.

Also, if I were you, I would not ask for a reimbursement.