Have any of you ever spanked or disciplined your child and then felt really guilty?

Answer 1

I would like to be able to say yes, but for me the answer is no.

Spankings in my house are common and are given to those who choose to disrupt, misbehave, and act up in an unacceptable kind of way. When one of the kids is due for a spanking and I give them a spanking, the spanking is well due, in order, and all in keeping with my household rules which my children are very well aware of.

Answer 2

Yes but it is a necessary evil sometimes to teach them right from wrong. I always try to explain before or after a spanking why the child got a spanking and what they can do to avoid one in the future. Then I will give them a hug or kiss just as quickly after spanking as before for good behavior.
Just because you have to discipline a child one minute does not mean you cant praise and love them the next. It does no good to stay mad at them for something they have already been punished for.

Answer 3

HI - this really is one of the toughest parenting skills.
Just know that every parent has it happen - sometimes we react in frustration or anger and can be too harsh.
First - not knowing you and your opinion of spanking let me say that is part of parenting and necessary for almost all children. You have probably observed children who are not spanked and in many cases you may have guessed that it's the case.
The tough skill is to discipline in response with the correct measure of response - our words, tone of voice, physical response, etc.
The key is to think it out ahead of time and try to keep on those appropriate, preapared guidelines. It takes time and work, but is better for everyone.
Yes - you will feel guilty at times if your response is prepared and carried out perfectly or not. That is becasue you LOVE your child and discipline is not the most fun experience for them. And while you are the person disciplining, you are still the parent and empathize with their hurt feelings.
But be encouraged knowing that discipline is a gift in the long run. It is part of loving them, and caring that they become they become disciplined, productive adults.
God Bless You!

Answer 4

No, it's not necessary to hit to teach lessons in life. Why is it acceptable to hit a child, but not an adult? Adults do things wrong sometimes, but very few people would strike them to make them behave. Hitting erodes the self-esteem and violates boundaries. It also creates a mindset in children that they can't make mistakes and they can't be open when they do make mistakes for fear of being punished. Childhood is a LEARNING phase, where they should be able to learn with a "safety net" (guidance from parents). Think about what it feels like when your boss yells or your neighbor is obnoxious. It is demeaning and we often feel helpless and worthless to protect ourselves. It's the same thing for a child. Who do they turn to when the person they should be able to go to for hugs, kisses and protection is hurting them? Go to the teen sections and read about all the children with low self-esteem, engaging in sex much too early because they just want someone to care about them, etc.

http://www.parentingweb.com/discipline/pw_disc.htm

Answer 5

OH MY GOD!!!!! YES YES and YES! Ive never spanked him- he is now 15 and when i take things away from him such as his computer or Xbox 360 I always feel soooo guilty! Ill be wondering- gee I might be being too hard on him, gee I dont want him to think i dont love him. i dont want him to hate me, and I end up giving it all back the same day!!!! Im soooo awful at discipline! I cant help it I love my son more than life itself- he is my only child!!!!

Answer 6

To everyone that already answered this question... shame on you. No child deserves to be hit. I am willing to admit I have spanked my son, and felt very guilty, in turn, next time I got that mad and wanted to hit him, I removed him from the situation, put him in his room or wherever, and took a break myself. There is no reason to get that mad at a child.. It is your job to teach a child to deal with his anger, and to teach him right from wrong. Not act like a child yourself. And if your kids are so bad that you think they deserve to be hit, your parenting needs work anyway.

Answer 7

My toddler i pop her on her bottom (with the diaper on) when she is doing something that can hurt her. Like trying to pull out the child proof electric covers. Each time i feel guilty. But i rather feel guilty then something bad happen to her. I want her to think 'last time i did this mommy spanked me so im not going to do it'

Answer 8

No. Hitting children in America is not accepted or acceptable. We are not barbarians, we have evolved beyond physical discipline/abuse. Put your kid in timeout. It works in our family beautifully. Our child is not afraid of us. He loves us very much, and tries to do the right thing always. He is such a good kid and it's because we reward him for being good with stickers or kind words, or just letting him know that we care about who he is as a person and how he feels. Take time for your kids. If you have patience and TIME to care, and are not so irritated with the situation that you have to hit them or say mean things, you will never get to the point where you have to resort to these crude ways of disipline. I think it's sad to think of the child that has to have the kind of parent that resorts to physical violence. It teaches your child to hit. So sad. I see my son's friends in school all the time whose parents don't have time to care and handle mistakes in a nonviolent fashion. It makes my heart ache for them, and there is NOONE who can influence your child the way you can. Please try another method!!

Answer 9

A little! But if they really deserved the spanking and you do not go overvboard as to leave bruises, its natural to feel a little guilty. My youngest actually had to get spanked last night.

Answer 10

ALWAYS...LOL ... It goes with the job. Just don't let it rule you. Basically, it means that you are actually working to do what's right with your child. When you discipline you take the time to consider if it was effective.