should i be angry?

Question

out of about 30 people i invited to my House warming party, only 9 showed up. NO One rsvp'd. People who did not show up included;
my closest girl friend, my brother and his wife, friends i have made over the past 2 years. I gave every one plenty of notice, they all acted like they were comming when i gave them the invataion. i spent like $300-400 on this party, and I am hurt that noboday came.

Answer 1

I had a similar experience. only at my party the only ones who showed up out of 25 people where my husband and my best friend. The 3 of us had a great time but i was still upset. I pride myself on being a likable person and a good friend. and here no one had bothered to show up or call. When people asked how the party was I told them it was great we had a blast , blah blah blah. They offered some excuse why they couldn't attend and I just shrugged and acted like they missed out, not me. The next time i had a party i didn't invite those people. A couple of them even came up and asked what was up why i didn't invite them. I told them I figured they couldn't make it "Again". Some of them said they would love to come so i told them to come on then. and they showed up and had a blast with us. Some people just don't think of others when it comes to things like that so i just leave them off the list. we are still friends but i keep in mind that they are not exactly depependable and invite them accordingly.

Answer 2

I feel your pain. Had the same thing happen with my wedding in June. People just don't RSVP anymore, like it's too much of an inconvience for them to let you know, "hey, don't spend that extra 15.00 a plate on me".

Perhaps it's petty, perhaps it's not very lady-like, but yes, I would be beyond angry! Oh wait, I am.. hehheh.. What have I done? I simply went on with things, made a website, posted pictures of those who DID show up, having a wonderful time, wrote some very mushy 'thank you's' on the site, and sent it to all of them.. When they comment on it, I simply shrug off their 'interest' as no big deal. They couldn't 'pretend' to be interested in my special day, why should I pretend to be interested in their opinions of it? As for family, unfortunately, they're family, and their lack of social skill is something you'll just have to eventually get used to. I'd bring it up though, in a 'non chalant' sort of way... "Oh, you should have been there, we....etc etc'. You can judge a lot by someone's initial reaction. Eventually though, you'll have to confront your fellings, and let them out. At some point, pull your brother aside, and let him know how much he and his wife hurt you. It's been 3 weeks since our wedding, and I'm still building the courage to do that very thing with my Dad, and his new wife.

Good luck, and keep us posted on how it goes!

Answer 3

I'd be angry if I were you. Unfortunately, etiquette in matters like this has pretty much gone the way of the dodo. No one knows what R.S.V.P. means, let alone bothers to do it. Nowadays you have to send out invitations and then follow up yourself -- and yes, I speak from experience (I threw my wife a surprise 40th and ended up calling over half the people I invited to find out if they were coming). You said you gave plenty of notice -- these days, plenty of notice is at least 2 months in advance.

Answer 4

i would not be angry remember there is no crying over spilt milk. you should let them all know that they should be ashamed of their conduct let them know that you had given them enough time to not show up and that their inconsideration costed you that amount of money. ask them how they would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. if i were you i would focus on making new friends because obviously the ones you have seem to be no good. next time they invite you some where just tell them that you are more considerate then they were and politly decline. they should all pitch in and try to reburse you the cost. sorry that really sucks

Answer 5

Angry, yup....I wouldn't be impressed. Did you ask for RSVPs? If so, anyone that couldn't come should have had the common sense to let you know they couldn't attend.

The rule of thumb for invitations is that approximately 25% of folks that confirm they are coming won't....just from my personal experience of event planning. So if you have 100 confirmed guests then 25 of those probably won't show.

Although it's difficult and it hurts, try not to hold a grudge. You'll just know better next time on who you can count on and who you can't.

Answer 6

Count your blessings as you find out which are cherished friends and which are aquaintances. You have more friends than me. I have many aqaintances. But if I had a party, I wouldn't have 9 to invite. So, I focus my energy on treating my handful of friends like gold.

And don't invite you aquaintances to the next party.

Forgive you brother and his wife. It's family.

Answer 7

In my experiance when you invite people only about 1/3 of them actually show up to it. Next time try giving them a call, this way you dont spend as much.

Answer 8

Inside, I would be angry, but I don't think I would let them know this (the rude family and friends that didnt' bother to show). If this is your first house, then everyone should have had a housewarming FOR you, and how rude to even make you do it for yourself.

I wouldn't show anger toward them. I wouldn't show hurt toward them. Turnabout is fair play.

Answer 9

I'd be hurt.

I'd also bring up the subject to bro and gf (in a nice way - maybe by just commenting on the party) to see why they weren't there. The answers will tell you an awful lot about your relationship.

Answer 10

I'd be very angry.Common sense and courtesy,have fallen by the way side.No seems to think it's important until they are the victims of bad behavior.Then they'll complain.A little common sense and courtesy is never out of fashion.