She is only 12 years old, I caught her on the phone talking to a boy.. when I asked her in regards to whom she was talking to she lied she to? She said it was her bestfriend Alyssa. TheBoy is a friend of my sons' he is 13 years of age . It is a rule, a known rule NO TALKING ON THE PHONE TO BOYS!!! I have no problem with her having friends of the oppisite sex.. just do not think it is wise to allow children this young to talk on the phone. I really think she likes this boy. Help !
2006-07-19 02:29:11 · 20 answers · asked by violet 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She has broken two of your rules: talking to a boy on the phone, and lying. I agree that 12 is too young to be hanging out on the phone with a boy, but clearly she knows it's wrong because she lied to you about it.
First, have a calm, rational, direct conversation with her about boys, and this particular one. Just let her speak freely, even if she says things you don't like about the topic. Listen closely, and only offer advice when she asks for it. She may more inclined to turn to you on these matters in the future if she believes she can trust you.
Second, put her on restriction. She broke 2 rules, but the big one is the lying. That shouldn't be tolerated.
Third, stick to your guns. She isn't going through anything you haven't experienced before. The big difference is you know the possible outcomes. Since she is only 12, you know what she is mature and old enough to handle; she just thinks she is mature and old enough to do her own thing. She may pout, whine, even be disrespectful (so have the calm, direct conversation before grounding her), but you're the parent. Good luck.
2006-07-19 02:43:00 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should know that when you tell a kid they can NOT do something the first thing they want to do is DO IT.
You should not be so hard on her and i do not find anything wrong with her talking to boys on the phone.
You DO have control over her hanging out with them if you are afraid she might do something stupid.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about her having a crush on this boy. Kids go through this and being a parent you should understand that. She probably finds him more interesting because she is not allowed to.
Just keep an eye on her but don't be so....... controlling over her either. She will rebel real quick! You want to be that mom that she can confide in NO MATTER what the problem may be and you need to let her know that.
2006-07-19 02:42:04 · answer #2 · answered by christina g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea i am twelve and i talk to boys on the phone all the time i have 15 friends that are girls and 10 friends that r boys and my momma dont carre and and since i am only 12 the rule in my house is u can talk to any one u want from school
what if ur kid needs help with homework and she only has a boys phone number with her would u rather her not do her homework or ask a boy for some homework help
i have been on a date with a boy 5 times and yes we did kiss
and i have many boys e-mail addresses bye
2006-07-19 05:56:40 · answer #3 · answered by liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you've asked this question like 3 times within the last 5 minutes...
Honestly, talking on the phone can't hurt her. Just give her a time limit. Like if she can talk to her girl friends from 45-60 minutes then keep her guy friend conversations 15-20 minutes long. Or Maybe even 30 minutes. Whatever you feel confortable with. And if you catch her talking about something innapropriate (i.e. phone sex, finding times to hook up etc...) just restrict her from talking to that boy. And if he calls tell him she's not available at the moment. ^_^
2006-07-19 02:40:07 · answer #4 · answered by The Marionette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay she is 12 and NOW the fun begins! God I had girls calling the house for my son when he was 7 and 8. And its only gotten worse with age! he is now 15. She is at the age where she is going to want to get to know boys. Talking with them on the phone is ALOT safer than in person!!!! Soon she will be 13- a teenager and no matter how much we want to we can not shelter them all their life. We can teach them wrong from right and we can be there for them when they need us. But she is to the age where it only natural to start being interested in boys. Good luck
2006-07-19 09:31:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loosen up. They're probably talking about school and the mall etc. Who cares if she likes the boy? If you over restrict her, she'll rebel, and next thing you know you'll have a 14 year old daughter and a newborn grandchild.
Explain relationships and sex and love etc... talk about smoking and drugs. But don't keep her off the phone (unless it's long distance or something like that). You're being over-protective.
2006-07-19 03:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by barelyliterate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the rules need to be renegotiated. She is getting to realize what boys are and that she likes them. She shouldn't be shunned from talking to them. Maybe tell her that she can talk to any boy only during an one hour time frame. If she wants to talk to more boys then she'll have to cut one call short to make sure and get to the other one. This might eleviate the deep conversations. And remind her that the rules are for her safety and you don't want her lieing to you. you are her mom and love her. This is the reason for rules. Good luck and I'm telling ya...there are more BOYS waiting in line
2006-07-19 02:39:19 · answer #7 · answered by Brandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is lying to you because this is an unreasonable thing to expect. You are also instilling that boys are not worthy of just friends. She will think that all boys are thought of as something more than just friends. Just chill out. If you teach her about friendship with boys, and teach her about romantic relationships, she will have more respect for you AND you are teaching her about real life not some fantasy. TALK to her. Be honest and be real. Just telling her no talking to boys is just wrong. She will be more curious than ever, she will get into more trouble.
2006-07-19 02:41:10 · answer #8 · answered by bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should deprive her from being able to talk on the phone to boys, that will just make her try harder to sneak behind your back so she can talk to the boy. I would let her talk to boys on the phone, but I would tell her from now on she could only talk in a certain room(which ever one you could moniter her from). You can't keep her locked up forever, as much as you try.
2006-07-19 02:37:17 · answer #9 · answered by save_me_now 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should start to allow her to talk to boys. Think of how embarrassing that must be to tell her guy friends in school that she can't talk to them on the phone. As long as shes just talking to them it should be fine. Shes not out all hours of the night with them.
2006-07-19 02:33:45 · answer #10 · answered by tabatha1333 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋