my boyfreind says we are too young to have a baby yet and you have to be in your 30's to have a baby so when i tell him im pregnant he will tell me to get a abortion but i dont think i want one what should i do???
2006-07-19 02:24:35 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
one more thing i am 16
2006-07-19 02:32:07 · update #1
Well if you shouldn't have a baby until you are 30 then you shouldn't have been having sex. However, seeing that he was a willing participant he will have to step up to the plate. Don't let him talk you into an abortion, it is not his decision to make! It will be something you regret your entire life! Just remember, you play, you pay!
2006-07-19 02:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by Flower Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I told my guy I was pregnant 1 week before he was moving away to the other side of the state and I was expecting him to be furious... on the contrary he was excited! Granted, he was 24 at the time, but I think you need to tell him - he might not have the raction you expect... As for an abortion.. It's your body and it's your baby.. no man or person has the right to make that demand on you..
also there's plenty of programs out there that would help you out (WIC, SRS) and then if the father refuses to participate in the child's life, that's his decision, but there is also CHILD SUPPORT that he would be paying (which is income based).. so Assuming he has a job or a part-time job, you'd get some extra money to help with baby expenses. There's government funded health insurance for expectant mothers (Kansas for sure has one called Healthwave) and you might look into that. It covers all your prenatal expenses including the delivery and the first year of the child's life. After that year is up, it has to be renewed, but is fairly easy to get involved wtih. It's a great program.
2006-07-19 04:11:56 · answer #2 · answered by mama of 1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wouldn't you want an abortion? Do you think you will be able to support your baby at age 16? What source of income do you have? What did your parents say? You are only 16. You have a whole future ahead of you be a mother. Also, how often will 16 year olds stay with their boyfriend for long. I feel that you are too immature to know what you are doing. What if eventually he leave you with the baby? Will you spend the rest of your life taking care of your baby ALONE when there are a lot of things that you care do.
2006-07-19 03:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by youngwoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey sweetie, I would get a test done first to make sure, then if it does turn out positive. Give him a call and tell him you need to talk to him and when we guys get together and talk to him about it. you can start talking to him by saying, how much you care about him (atleast I hope you do if you were having sex), then I would just tell him that he has a choice to make and that is to be with you and support you through what you are going to tell him or he can go the other way) then tell him that you are pregnant and that you really hope he decides to stick by you and be there for you and the baby and if not that you will have to do it the hard way then and see him in court for him to help pay for his child. I ended up being with someone for 3yrs and got pregnant when I was 17 and he was excited at first and then two wks later left me and never returned. I made it on my own and am now happily married and working on our third. Good Luck and don't stress everything will work out OK no matter if you are or not and if he decides to stick by your side or not.
2006-07-19 02:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by awesomemommy05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't be afraid to tell your boyfriend. He may suggest an abortion, but ultimately, the decision is yours. Second, run through all of the scenarios. What is the worst thing he will do or say? Script your responses to those things.
Unfortunately, if the conversation gets ugly, pregnancy hormones will prevent you from being completely rational. As long as you have a decision made, stick to your guns. Things will work out, one way or another.
By the way, my mom and sister had kids in their teens, and I had my first at 23. I went on to earn a Master's degree, and all three of us had very lucrative careers. We also had active social lives. So your boyfriend may be smart enough to admit that he's too immature to have a baby, but he is still responsible for one if he is the father. If he doesn't want children, then he shouldn't be having sex (since no birth control method is 100% effective). Have faith in yourself; everything will work out. Good luck!
2006-07-19 02:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK! This is a big one! First don't tell him yet.... tell your parents first so they know and understand whats going on, and so if he runs, they can get him back and so if he does get mad nothing will happen with your parents sitting there with you. Don't go and get an abortion without him, it took two of you to make this baby it will take two of you to have it or get rid of it!!!! The daddy does have a choice here not just you! Just remember you aren't alone here, there are others that can and will help you, county help, for food and insurance to pay for everything, and to help you find a place to live and pay for if you needed it! Just remember this is not just your decision, he was there too!!!
2006-07-19 02:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by mamaof2gurls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who has to make the decision in the end. Never let anyone pressure you into doing something that you just can't do. Things may look bad now, but you and the baby's health is most important right now. Go to the doctor and find out for sure if you are pregnant. Then discuss your next steps with the doctor. Doctors are there to help!!
2006-07-19 02:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so u have a big problem on your hands.
first of all its your decision whether or not you want to have an abortion.
if i were in your position i will not have one cos this baby didnt ask to be brought into this world. because of you and your boyfriend the child must suffer. and in any case if you do decisde to have an abortion it is very likely that it is gonna be difficult for u to have children when u THINK u ready to have them.
come on both u guys stood stand up fot the mistakes url made and face the consequences. url think url big enough to have sex than by all means url are big enough to take care of the child that is on the way
goodluck with whatevr decision u make and dont feel pressurixed by your boyfriend
2006-07-19 02:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly find out if you ARE then decide if having the baby is defiantly what you want. Then tell him you never know once he has thought about he might love the idea if not than you can go it alone. Really tho if he didn't want you to get pregnant he should have been more care full.Always remember tho the child comes first it didn't ask to be conceived
2006-07-19 02:33:48 · answer #9 · answered by tweetypie88888 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess you don't really love your boyfriend if you scared of him. Better seek some counselling quick.. after a certain no of weeks depending on the law in your location, it will be too late and you will not be able to make a choice. If you think he can be a loving dad maybe you should bring him to the counselling sessions too so you can BOTH work out a plan for the future.
2006-07-19 02:31:32 · answer #10 · answered by Candy Kitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋