My Fiance doesnt want me to have a Stag do...?

Question

she doesnt want me to have a stag do because she doesnt like or trust my best man (hates). I know that i love her and i would never play away from home, but i feel that my life is over before im married! help

Answer 1

if you feel like your life is over becuase you cant have a stag, i dont think you are ready for marriage.

Answer 2

I find it ridiculous, if she trusts you, then she should let you do whatever you please. If you try and keep people on a short leash, they are more likely to want to play away, simple as that. It's like writing 'wet paint don't touch', and trust me, practically everyone walking by will touch.
If she doesn't trust your best man, perhaps because he has a bit of a reputation, then why not do something really different. My fiance and I are marrying in February, and he isn't really a pub/club kind of guy. So instead of him having no stag do, I suggested he go away for the weekend on a golf break. He loves golf so it was perfect. He also liked the idea of a paint ball weekend, track racing (in really fast cars) and some dirt bike weekend. It will be tonnes of fun for you, and she wont worry as much. There's no point living your life suspicious or jealous because all the good times pass you by and it can really ruin what you have. Talk to your best man, if he's your best mate you should be able to explain that your fiancee is worried you'll get yourselves into mischief and then suggest something fun like a break at Alton Towers or something...and to make it equal, why not ask her if she wants to take her friends away somewhere. A spa weekend, a hotel weekend in London near the biggest shops in the UK.
She needs to learn to trust you.

Answer 3

Your life is over before you are married?

What do you think happens when you get married - that you cease having fun? That you no longer date? That you no longer go out drinknig and dancing? If you think that then call off this wedding right now!!

BUt if you are just whinging then what about a 'Hag' do instead? This is an increasingly popular idea where you have a joint or semi-joint Stag and Hen do. Great if you have freinds of both sexes. You could make it a fun competitive day with a sports day and picinic in a local park - boys take girls at rounders or hopscotch or whatever. OR have a boys v girls treasure hunt or go-karting or clay pigeon shooting. Or what about visitng a foreign city - going out on the town but the winning 'team' is the one back at the booked restaurant for dinner with the most souveniers from bars (match books/beer mats/business cards etc) or the most singatures from members of the opposite sex in a book.

Or talk to your best man - a stag do doesn't have to mean strip clubs and amsterdam - my partner is going to cycle with his mates to a nearby mountain, climb it with a champagne picnic and then go to a nearby town for dinner for his. Maybe you could do something like that - that your girlfriend won't mind and knows you won't get talked into wild behaviour and you still get to celebrate your impending nuptials and the wonderful life ahead of you with your friends.

Answer 4

If you really want to do this, you can always ask your best man what he has planned and let her know. I know that doesn't sound fun but...I didn't want my husband to have one either especially when I heard how overly excited his friend was about planning it. But his friend gave me a call and let me know that they were going to go to a nearby casino and gamble half the night and I just knew my husband would love it so I didn't say anything against it. It might just be that she doesn't like the idea of strippers, and she worries that things could get out of hand.

I'm curious though...as to what you want to do that you feel is so important. It seems like if you think your life is over just because you can't have a stag party...you shouldn't get married because you aren't ready for the commitment! You should already feel like this woman is your life and your world. I can't imagine anyone feeling like they need a night of "freedom"...most people I've talked to have actually really missed their fiance/fiancee on the night before the wedding and just couldn't wait for the next day.

Answer 5

what.....don't listen. a stag doo is a one off and a way of saying goodbye to the single life and all those nights with the boys. If you were going to cheat doesn't she think that you would have done it in a better way than on your stag doo....

i feel sorry for you if you are going to have put up with that type of sh*t for the next 50 years. Does this mean that you will never be allowed out without her and that she will never go out without you, where is the trust.

She should trust you enough to let you go out on a special night like your stag. maybe if she really is a nutter and won't let you go without a spy you could take her brother or one of her male friends to keep her mind at rest...

if you dont have one you will regret it and she will always wear the trousers......

Answer 6

I can understand why she would feel like this. Is there a mutual male friend that she trusts who could go on the stag night with you to make sure that nothing untoward happens?
If she's having a hen night, you should have a stag night too.

Mind you, if she distrusts you this much, do you really think you're ready for marriage?

Answer 7

Is she having a hen night?
These kind of events are notorious for the idea that its the bride and grooms last night of freedom, but to be honest I dont know anyone who actually goes out and is unfaithful!
Try and talk to her, maybe If you had a toned down affair she would agree- or do something in the day (like white water rafting) then go to the pub at night- its hard but I think if shes having a hen do its only fair that you have your stag do- its tradition!
Good Luck
Ohh yeah- just ask her why she doesnt want you to have one and totally reassure her with love and flowers and stuff!

Answer 8

Well, I agree with her. Even the best intentioned man can get talked into stuff by his best friend. It happens.. sorry to tell you. I think you're going a little too far with the whole.. your life is over before you're married thing.. think of it this way .. if your fiancee had a girl friend that was always into trouble, had no problems cheating on people and you felt that she could influence your wife into getting trashed and doing something.. would you let that friend throw your wife a bachelorette party? I don't think so. Sometimes it's not about the trust they have in you, it's about the trust they DON'T have in other people. She trusts you, but with the right amount of influence.. anyone can talk anyone into anything.

Answer 9

When my husband was going on his stag i did not trust his best man, but that does not mean that i did not trust mt husband. he went away for the weekend and had a great time. is she having a hen, if so tell her if u can't have a stag she can't have her hen night. She can't have it all her way. R u sure that u want to be with someone that is going to control your life and tell you who you can and can't go around with.

Answer 10

I think you two need to have a serious chat. She should let you because she trusts you hence the reason your getting married. If she doesnt trust you then call it off.

Who cares if she doesnt trust the best man, you can make up you rown mind about things and can say no.

Trust trust trust trust trust. The relationship needs it, without it you may as well save yourself the hassel now and just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

Answer 11

You are in no way prepared for this wedding then. I think you need to reconsider the big step that you are getting ready to make. You need to sit down and talk to her about this. Make a couple suggestions as to what you would like to do for your "stag" party. Tell her that she can trust you...if you are marrying her she needs to trust you as well and this seems like she is uneasy about what happens when you are alone with this friend. Talk to her about it though.

Good luck!