I've known someone for some time and I've started to see her as more than a friend for the last couple of months. The trouble is, since all of my past relationships ended for the reasons they did, my confidence is practically zero and I can't find the guts to tell her how I feel. Not only that, but I get mood swings when I really can't be doing with them - in one breath I'm tap dancing on tables and in the next I'm crying into a tub of ice cream.
What advice would you give me?
2006-07-19 02:01:48 · 13 answers · asked by HiFi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is also one tiny problem I forgot to mention - I hardly know anything about her. We just get along so well and we can laugh about anything. It just feels ... different.
2006-07-19 02:15:33 · update #1
How about starting what you need to say by telling her that 'it's difficult for you to talk about this,' that you 'feel scared' or whatever it is that you feel.
I understand 'the mood swings' thing too, but they are your responsibility, in how you deal with them ...in how you 'use them.'
These emotions are useful too, you can use them as someone in a martial art might, where you 'use' the emotion to accelerate it / yourself, through it, to the next point in your saga.
A woman once said to me, 'I hate weak men,' and I realised that in my state she saw as a weakness, there was actually strength - because I was dealing with my feelings and not hiding away from / avoiding them.
I was not being 'weak' but being 'human.'
Being human means being what she saw only (in the negative) as 'weak,' but which is (in the positive) simply acknowledging and admitting ones own fragile 'vulnerability.'
Being alive, being human, is to be 'fragile within life.' Remove / limit the simple supply of our 3 'needs,' oxygen, water and food, and our vulnerability is very quickly demonstrated.
Obviously, we are composed of a little more than those 3 Needs - a comfy sanitary station, a decent bed and roof over ...good food and the occasional other 'comforter' are on the list too.
Find your integrity and trust youSelf.
Best of luck.
Sash.
2006-07-19 02:28:48 · answer #1 · answered by sashtou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not really neccessary to tell her about your feelings at the moment. You're both having a great time together and you both know that. In the first period of any relationship, that is what it's important. The mutual feelings for each other will be built up, by the time. When you get to know her better, I'm sure, the feelings you would like to share with her will just come out. Until then, you'll built your confidence again..
It's not important for your current relationship how your past relationships ended up. Because you had a bad experience in the past, doesn't mean that it should prevent you from getting to know this girl and showing her real you. Maybe she is the one and you won't know until you relax and show her 100% of you.
2006-07-19 02:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by Psychologist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it should be easier this time, remember she was your friend first so she already knows the good the bad and the ugly about you. telling her you have developed feelings for her is no biggee. your probably having mood swings about this because you are afraid of losing her as a friend if things dont work out. dont worry though you will always be friends. good luck
2006-07-19 02:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant judge this relationship on ur past ones... love is a risk.. a risk worth taking. take a deep breath and jump in thats the only way to do it, u may get the response ur looking for and then ull be kicking urself inthe behind "why didnt i do this sooner"
2006-07-19 02:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by wildspirit1313 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be u start telling about ur feeling seen.it better, first to be sure about ur partners and when u trust her then u say ur feeling.
but dont think that all the girls are the same. peolpe are not like eachother.its a new experience maye be this ime is diffrent. just try to be urselfe
2006-07-19 02:09:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is it hurts so much because you are bearing your soul out showing how you feel; making yourself weak in front of another who can either put you on an high or make you feel totally worthless.
Tell her how you feel and be done with it. That's of course if she is available plus interested. All the best.
2006-07-19 09:08:18 · answer #6 · answered by Storm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it happensto all. its just sumthing normal. don`t worry. give it some time. u`ll soon recover. and your root problem is your confidence level. you need to be happy with yourself. if you yourself know that you will be able to do itthat means u`ll be able 2. hold your life in a positive direction.all the best.
2006-07-19 02:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by ams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Us men are the dominate species, we ain't soft and feminin like women, we not used to telling women how we feel about them. we flirt then sooner or later they will find out that we like them and they will tell us that they like us not the other way around. We men express our feelings to women alot different than women.
2006-07-19 02:11:57 · answer #8 · answered by j_rea000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to her a bit more and this may help you to feel a little more confidant about telling her how you feel.also maybe go to the doctors cos it sounds like you may have depression.
2006-07-19 02:21:12 · answer #9 · answered by che 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop hints and see what responce u get, talk to a doctor about your feelings to, good luck
2006-07-19 03:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by 2hot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋