If the feelings are mutual should we call it quits?

Question

Ok. well it seems that my boyfriend that i've been dating for the last four months...and i have come to a realization that this might not be working out the way we intended it to..We live two states away from each other. We love each other don't get me wrong..and the feelings for each other are still there. however, we want to be there for each other..to help meet each others needs..and right now that doesn't seem like an option..I'm working..he's working..and he's about to start school again..I don't want to go on telling myself that things are going to work out for the better. when they may actually not. I don't want to live a lie like that anymore. I know you are going to say follow your heart and all that bologna..but what do you do if your heart wants two different things? I mean do you think we should call it quits if the feelings are mutual..and start dating people in our own states..because this long distance thing is seriously hurting us both..what do you think we should do?

Answer 1

I am not going to tell you all the junk that you know will be said here, I will tell what "I Would Do" if it were me in your shoes.

If my guy & I were living States apart from each other and in the begining it was working but, some where down the road things took a trun for the worst, I know that he & I would have to come to some sort of solution, If he or I was willing to move for the other, or maybe if marriage was considered, If I didn't want to do neither of those things then we would have to just put our relationship on hold til the future.
See what I am saying is that if we are not talking marriage no time soon then maybe we should be just friends, good friends, you know keeping in touch and all of that, but see other people, if he could not deal with that or if I couldn't deal with that then we would have to just let each other go, because you don't want to hold someone you love back from being all that htey can be cause if that happens there will be regrets on the behalf of both parties.
Does any of this makes sense to you?
If you love some one then let them go, if they are meant to be yours, they will return.....
I will tell you this much and be done with it, Only you know what you and this guy has, is it worth saving to you? then you do all that you can, to hold him back is not love, the same goes for you to him, for him to want to hold you back is not all.....Just do is right for the two of you okay.
Good Luck...

Answer 2

you should consider breaking off the relationship and just be friends. if you can that is. truth is long distance relationships are difficult and the distance can put a strain on the relationship. it takes 2 very strong people to survive the distance and make it work. this unfortunately is rare. a relationship consists of many things, but what makes it most difficult in a distant relationship is the lack of affection. that special person's touch. it's what makes distance possibly the most difficult thing. though you 2 love each other, love isn't always enough (trust me I speak from experience). a relationship needs more then just love to keep it together. any how, my point is, you 2 should cut your ties before someone does something that could cause the other unnecessary pain. if something is meant to be, it will be, no matter what. this may be hard to believe, but worth keeping in mind. you can still be there emotionally and mentally for one another as friends but give each other the chance to find someone close that could provide all that and the physical part. touch is just as important as everything else, if not one of the most important (and i don't mean just sex!). However, if you feel love and happiness everytime you think of him, no one seems to catch your attention and you feel like no one could ever fill his shoes then maybe you should consider holding on a bit longer. Good luck what ever you 2 choose to do.

Answer 3

Based on the distance, I'd say call it quits. This may not be a popular choice, but it is a realistic one. Long distance is hard to overcome (notice I didn't say impossible). If you aren't seeing each other on a regular basis and your lives are busy, it is ALMOST an inevitability that one of you will find someone else, and if you are still trying to "be together" (which you can't really be based on the distance) then it will be a worse situation than if you call it quits and be friends.

Answer 4

As you said, I am going to tell you to follow your heart. It is hard for a relationship to survive on long distance terms. If you both feel that you should call it quits, that is what I would do. I know that it will be hard at first. It always is. Especially, when you both still love eachother and have feelings for eachother. I hope it all works out for the best...good luck!

Answer 5

Well, of course you should follow your heart,but you should also remember that you deserve happiness. Obviously you are not happy with the situation, so I would say that you should move on..amicably. Who knows? Maybe when things calm down or maybe later it will work out! Also remember that nothing in life is guaranteed except death..so you can't look for a guarantee that things will get better..it's just not working. Don't live a lie..be true to yourself!!! Remember..every experience in life is meant for us to learn something...what have you learned from this? Take that and move on!! Good luck!!

Answer 6

Long distance has a tendency to not work out. Call it quits for now, but leave the door open for the future if you two have more similar paths. 4 months isnt really that long of an investment in time.

Answer 7

Give it a while longer. Plan to talk every week for an hour about if it is possible to live in the same area together. See what happens. Let the conversation flow. Delay the decision at least two months. Thats IMHO anyway

Answer 8

l can see that it's a hard nut to crack for you but because of the mutual concern , it's a big challenge for you to make a decision on your on . l, as a normal human being also l do understand that the is yours but you only need the advise form the people surround you.
though you have the man at heart and he also but you are not aware of the things happening behind you /in your absence.My friend the ball is in your hands ,l once expirienced that and deduced that lost time never found.That's life, how it goes round .whether the way you like it or
the other way round unexpectedly.if he is the only MR RIGHT for you ,trace the axact location where he is and be together as one .Or let it go like that/surender everything in GOD'S hands.have a nice decision my friend

yours

FARAI
MAKUVISE

FROM ZIMBABWE
(CITY HARARE)

Answer 9

girl as i always say that long distance relationship only work if they r kept for the short time
we always nee some one close to us time to time and if they r not there then the missing the biggest part of being in a relation
time wont stay still girl move on if it ant working or shift to the same state
nothing is going to change if u stayed this apart.
best for both of u
look for some one u can spend time with
being with ur partner is a relationship , talking on phone well...
u know
cheers

Answer 10

I feel your pain. i live in north wales and work full time, and im trying to maintain a relationship with my boyfriend who is stationed in Venice Italy. We talk every day but I havent seen him in about 2 months. Sometimes i get fed up and want someone closer to home, but then i think about it. is there anyone else out there that could make me smile like he does or laugh like he does. We take one 4 day weekend a month and talk every day. That is until he goes to Iraq in March. But anyway that ties me over. I love him and know he is worth waiting for. In time we'll be together and I'll be the happiest woman alive... if you feel anything like I do stick to it. I promise you can work it out. It takes a lot of patience and effort and sometimes the frustration is almost unbearable but you can do it. any way good luck. I hope it all works out..