the relationship with my mom is like cat and mouse and obviously me being the mouse. she is always angry with me for one reason or another even if its something very minor like not putting my glass in the kitchen after drinking milk. she is divorced and remarried and i am currently living with my mom ans step dad. my step dad is really sweet. he doesnt take anyone's side in an arguments that we have...but if once in a blue moon he does have to choose he chooses my mom over me knowing that fact that she's wrong half the time. things are just getting worse and worse. i seriously want to move out but being an indian living in india its considered "a sin" to do that. any thing...ANYTHING i can do to make my relationship better with her. seriously i would do anything...and please dont tell me about talking to her about it cos i have done it some many times but that only works for a few days only.
2006-07-19 01:33:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Considering her history, it may not be difficult to know where she is coming from. It may stem from a lot of bitterness she has gathered over her past experience and in truth has nothing to do with you.
Nevertheless, I agree with you that it hurts. But please, try your best to love her anyway and show your love to her unconditionally. It may take quite some time, but you may help her out of the situation.
Don't expect it all to disappear in one day, because she did not also develop in one day.
Please just be patient and you would not regret it. Unless it is TOTALLY unbearable before i think you should contemplate moving out; but even if you do, keep in touch with her so she knows it is not about her, but the attitude that caused you to move.
2006-07-19 01:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by Stavi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationships between Mothers and Daughters is often adversarial. Trust me, my Mom is 75, I'm in my 40's and there are still some days where we're like oil & vinegar. She doesn't like the way I wear my hair, she doesn't always like my clothes, and she never ever hesitates to tell me.
The difference is, when I was a teen, I'd really get upset, but never say anything, because back then, kids still respected their "elders" and didn't talk back. Most of the time anyway. As I grew older, in my 20's I stood up to her more... but I always respected her.
Bottom line, you may not like it, but as long as you're a minor, living under her roof, you need to respect her and obey her. UNLESS she's abusing you and you're in danger. Then you need to get help.
Talk to her, tell her your feelings and try and work out some compromises. If you approach her in a calm, reasonable fashion, maybe she'll meet you half way. Good luck.
2006-07-19 01:44:13 · answer #2 · answered by Annie's World 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you get some answers from people in India since they know the custom over there better than we do. I would tell her that no one is perfect and you can not stay if the two of you cannot get along. If she throws it in your face about it being a sin to leave her house just remind her that it must be a bigger sin to get a divorce and she should not be throwing stones. If she will not listen to reason could you go live with your real dad? You do not say how old you are and if you are old enough just get your own place. My goodness this is the 21 century after all.
2006-07-19 01:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by # one 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be your fault that your mother is so picky over the small things and yells at you. My mother was the same way and it turned out she had Depression. If your mother is depressed, it could be why she snaps over the smallest things. My mother got divorced and remarried too and such life changes can be very difficult on a person. She may need to talk about her feeling about some tough situtations with a medical professional. If it is depression that is causing her problem then it is not your fault and there is nothing you can do to make it better then to be there for her and be supportive to her. Try your best to help out arround the house where you can and maybe talk to her to see if maybe she is a little sad or depressed about things. Try suggesting some help from a doctor if she is.
2006-07-19 01:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Diamond Freak :) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what your Mother's life if like, but maybe she is stressed and unhappy. Try doing a little more around the house for her to make her life easier. Give her a few extra hugs from the heart, show her that you love and respect her. Sometimes even though your Mom may be wrong you may have to step up and be the hero.
2006-07-19 01:39:52 · answer #5 · answered by mandp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Read this book: "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr. David Burns. He explains how to build better relationships through understanding and communication. It's a wonderful book.
2006-07-19 01:38:11 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Peachy® 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. As a parent and previous teen, you should try and do what she asks you do. If you took the time to clean house and straighten up the kitchen, how would you feel if someone left an empty dirty glass on the counter? No, parents are not right all the time, but the majority of the time they are simply looking out for your best interest. Its a blessing to have someone like that. Be thankful and try putting yourself in her shoes for a change.
2006-07-19 01:41:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mom daughter relationships are sensitive, you must learn to be patiant with one another, yet be upfront, and honest. give eachother space,and yet be there for eachothr in times of need. dont feel uneasy if mom sometimes seems upset, she wants the best for you, and sometimes gets so flusterd with emotion that the only way it comes out is anger. sit her down from time to time, and ask her how her day went, ask her if she want to eat something, or just say i love you once in awhile. its really works.
2006-07-19 01:40:19 · answer #8 · answered by olivia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well simple things she gets annoyed about, such as the glass, you can control that; just do whatever it is without being asked (shows maturity as well) (like putting the glass in the kitchen, picking up youself, etc..). Also, maybe help out around your house without her having to ask you about. Maybe treat her to a night or so as well, such as making dinner for her and your stepdad and then doing the dishes afterwards.
2006-07-19 01:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by prodigy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on a lot. She can be a nag a la Marge Simpson but usually means well. bq - Tacos eh. They don't have burritos in Mexico, having family there I am insulted.
2016-03-16 01:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋