my almost 17 yr old son is smoking pot and ciggarettes?

Question

How do I get him to stop? I know he is depressed due to a friends' suicide about a year ago- but he refuses counciling and when i made him go the councelor told him to come back when he was ready to do the "Work". He also refuses to take antidepressants- he hates the side effects.(he has tried several diff ones)I dont know how to help him. I try to "be there" for him to talk (but I'm his mom and he rarely wants to talk to me- i think he thinks i was never his age)and i make sure he has access to others to talk to- friends via the phone, computer, youth pastor, school councelor and teachers he is close to- he even has their home phone. (by the way in sept. I'm scared he wont go back to school)

Answer 1

I'm so sorry to hear about all this
If you happen to have an AA group in your phone book
then call them, tell them your situation & ask them if
you could get some advice from one of there
councelors on what to do & pray too.

I hope this advice is helpful & best of luck

Answer 2

Spend time with him, and try to relate to his feelings, have you ever lost a friend or family member or pet that you were close too? Remember the grieving process, and amplify it 100x's and that is what a teenager is feeling. He needs to grieve, I agree that he is not dealing with the loss of someone he cared about, he is masking it with pot. Be in his face, be where he is, when possible, tell him you know how bad he feels, although he thinks you are stronger than him, talk about you losses in the past,, and how you felt, if possible shed tears, it will break his hard shell, and maybe let the grieving process start.( seeing my mother cry for the first time, made me realize that she was human) He will always think that you were born all grown up, but tell him about challenges in your life that made you the strong person that you are today, and how you overcame them.. Try to remember what it felt like as a teenager and having your heart broken ( and your faith tested) feel the pain with him. By the end of the summer, he will perk up a bit, the back to school time will be a blessing, a chance to 'keep on keeping on'.
Good luck to you
Patience...

Answer 3

The physician took an X-ray? Why would he do this? i will't imagine a physician taking an X-ray of a youngster lady's abdomen, on the exterior risk that she may be pregnant, that could doubtlessly damage the fetus. Or did you mean an ultrasound? besides the undeniable fact that.... What suggestion do you want? You raised your little ones to imagine premarital sex became ok, and a 12 year previous's mind isn't able to creating rational judgements or comparing consequences. you do not argue with a 12 year previous besides. you want some specialist relatives counseling that could help you workout consultation who's to blame.

Answer 4

been there done that , dont get discouraged. you have given him opptunities, laid out his options. but the choices are his, and his alone. and yeah i know that you're there for him, you are a mama and reguardless of his decisions you'll always be there . remember all the times when he was a baby ? you taught him how to walk safely up and down the steps, how to cross the street? its hard not to want to take his hand and guide him now but you have to trust that all those "lessons" you've already taught him are inside him and he will use them. give him time, trust and love. even if he doesnt acknowledge it , he knows its there and needs it. about going back to school - two of my 4 kids took a year off -postponing their senior year when they were 17. mainly because with all the "push to sucess " stuff they werent quite ready to "face the world" as an adult didnt know where their goals were, were scared to face the ending of childhood by graduating . keep your chin up , keep the faith in your son, you know him, you raised him, and i am willing to bet you are not a bad mama :)

Answer 5

who are his closest friends now?
he probably too afraid to even think that life can be worth it after one person just went into the light without help-so y help him?
sometimes strangers can knock sense into him, so what i say is, pray-he has his angels looking out for him,though he is deaf to all reason for now...u have done all the necessary stuff...surrounding him with ppl.see to it that he got ppl his age, who r just there for him,not preaching, just listening to him..he needs that for a while,it will take time...and take him some place saying that u need a change of scene and dont hound him with doctors there...just watch over him, like wen he was little...maybe a resort or a barbecue and activties and sports or something...somwhere to get his mind off everything long enough to snap outta his frame of mind

Answer 6

Hi there,

First of alll...... CHILL.......... just remember one thing... nt a single problem in this world comes without a solution.... so its we human being who has to find the solution... okie.!!!!.. first of all u have to take ur son in to confidence....... u know him the best so ... u know how to do that.... next u have to make sure that he shares that comfort level with u....& i think u have to be a very good listener to him..... for the time being ... listen to what ever he says & do... then.... start ur assignment..... remember we all human being always search for the comfortness to talk.... the only reason he goes & talk outside is he doesnt share the comfort level with u... & forget that ur his mom... try to be his pal..

cheers
sam

Answer 7

Alot of people will tell you to try counseling but you've seen reality already. Counciling only works with a WILLING participant, you can not make someone go to couciling. Although your son will not go, you could go for ideas and ways to cope yourself.

Answer 8

You need to spank him very very very hard like nicole ritchie does to fat man on simpls life yup thats wat u got to do spank him and tell him he is doing something wrong. go momaa go momaa go go