Does Anyone Dislike Their Family?

Question

There is a big gap between my parents and me, simply because they like my sister and brother more. Now you can say that I'm being silly, but believe me, even my boyfriend can see it. My sister's ex, when he was around my dad would suddenyl take an interest in sport and beer and blah blah. When my boyfriend is around he doesn't bother, even though my boyfriend is deeply into sport. My mum always talked to my sister about things, but with me, she never does. Even now when my sister is living in Canada, my mum speaks to her more than she does with me and I live in the same house.

Nevertheless, my question to you is, do any of you dislike your family, especially parents? Because it hurts to think that I'm the black sheep and they don't try with me. Have any of you fell out with your parents and disallowed them from seeing your children.... because I can see this going in that same direction.

Oh, I forgot to mention. My dad has taken up smoking in order to bond with my brother.

Just to let you know, I don't have children. But I can see in the future that when I do have children, it will be hell.

My parents argue with me about the pettiest thing, I shout at the dog and I get told off and then 5 minutes later my dad makes the dog yelp and cry and he gets nothing. My brother gets £100 here and £200 there and a car and whatever he wants, he's 21! I'm 18 and ask for £200 to go see my sister in Canada and they say no! It isn't in my imagination, it is real. I can't talk to them because then they go off the subject and pick at me like 'you're 18 when are you taking driving lesson.' The main reason they hate me is because I am holding them back. They've said that they're not going anywhere until I get a house, and then they are going moving back to Canada. They have said outright that they are waiting for me to leave and my mum's mum to die to get her money to move back. They're sick and twisted!

Answer 1

I think there is always one part of everyone's family they have issues with, I am sorry for you it is your parents. I have a similar issue with my dad and stepmother, luckily for me I have a mom and stepfather who always have treated my brother and I the same. I was 8 when they were married and the daughter my stepmother brought to the marriage was 5. We would only spend Sundays with my dad unless it was summer then sometimes we would go for the weekends and then on a "family" vacation for 2 weeks. It has always seemed no matter what I did she could NEVER do any wrong. The holidays were the worst because my brother and I had another entire family at "our house" we only got one nice gift at my dads and then usually some school clothes or board games.....then we would sit and watch her open barbies and jewelry and then name brand clothes while ours came from Kmart. It was hard to go though as a kid and I still have issues with it today. I am 31 and married with a child. When my daughter was born it even seemed as if she was not the first and only grandchild to my step mom because she was not from HER daughter.... I know it may sound selfish to some but it hurts alot being a new mom and feeling bad about handing your newborn to someone to hold when you feel like they resent the baby. I have learned to handle it as politely as possible and to put all the positive energy I can into being happy no matter how they act when I am there and then to go on with my life when I leave. I know in my heart I love them and always will no matter what they are my parents but I am a grown woman with a family of my own now and I have to do what is best for my family , if that means only visiting once in a while then so be it. My father and my husband have tons in common they fish and hunt but he does go out of his way to make my sisters husband happy, he is a computer guy and my dad bought a playstation just so they would have something to do together. Dad even buys him tools and usually has to go show him how to use them!!! My hubby just laughs about the stories we get out of it and tells my dad if he needs help with whatever it might be he is working on he'll help. I think maybe your best course of action is to when you are old enough (in case you are not) move out on your own and start a life as the adult you have become. Let them have their "favorites", maybe you'll like your in-laws better!!!

Answer 2

You cannot decide to hate your family just as you cannot choose the family to come to the world thru.
we are all created to be trails for each other [Q25v20]. In life we cannot love people equally. What God only wants is that we try and keep the gap from affecting so many of our duties and responsibilities. In the case of your parents perhaps you are imagining things.
They never said they love you less. They may have a good area where you are so dear to their heart- and you may not know this. perhaps you knew and still pretend to know not.
You have children- thank God for them- you cannot take an oath that your love for them is equal?
I am not justifying what your parents are doing, but i cannot judge them, because i do not have an opprtunity to hear then out. You are also going to be subjective in your complaint- it is human.
I am a muslim and by the teaching of my faith, i must love my parents no matter their faces or tribes or calling. Live with them in peace and harmony. Condone their seemingly excesses until i part with them in good. God is their only judge. I am however empowered to admonish them -with wisdom and good exhaustation.
Try talk to them. I wonder for instance why you havent seen anything wrtong in their taking alcohol? You have a lot to accomplish and you are now a mother, how are you doing with your kids? You carry their geneology, remember? Make the change and see how easy this is with your own kids. Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all I disagree with the first answer from Princesslove. But that does not answer your question. Yes, I do not like my brother or sister, cousins, etc. I do like some of my aunts and uncles. It is hard pretending that you like them. I never liked my step-father, nor him me. I did love my mother deeply, but that was because I could talk to her and she would listen. I think what you need to do is to communicate your feelings (not your boyfriend's) to your mother first. She will of course deny that you have any problem, but insist that you do. It is better to get this out in the open before you get married, move out, etc. Find out why and what is going on. In my family it turned out that my mother had another child that I did not know about until after she had died. Now I am not saying that there is a big dark secret in your family of course, but try communicating with her. Have sit down over coffee some morning or something like that. Or an evening when there is nothing on TV. Just try is all I am saying. You don't want to turn out like me. Believe me it was no fun.

Answer 4

What a sad situation to be in and to feel the least loved. I am sure you have spoken with them about how you feel in the past, but I would ask them again. Don't do it in an accusing way, talk to your mother, perhaps she feels also that you don't make the effort with them (I am not accusing you of anything there) but she may also feel she does not know how to approach you. They obviously sense there is an atmosphere in the house and as you are also an adult now, you must also try and go about making the peace. Ask your mother and father to join you for lunch and make them something really nice to eat, tell them you want to breach the gap that has come between you all, and ask how you can make amends and make friends with them. If that does not work I would suggest finding a place to live of your own.

Answer 5

ya i do and i am the black sheep in my family,if u wud only listen to my mom and listen to wat she argeus with me about ull say this is the freakiest family in the milky`way
but u can talk with them and tell them that u feel like the black sheep y is that?theyll probably give u a reason which u might find the stupidest thing ever! or not.but tell them how u feel.
u know sumtimes wierd things happen my dad ddnt talk 2 his own daugter which is my older step sister from my dad bcuz she got married to a swedish guy! can u blv that? that's just insane!
they stole $30,000 from my dad and my my mom's dad accused my yongest sep brother undirectly,just bcuz he aint my moms som doesnt mean he's not my dads!
that our family my mom's side is a nightmare!
but dont let urs get worse talk to them
and i hope u'll sort it out
GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

first of all, if and when you have children, dont put them in the middle of your anger with their grandparents.
2) every child feels like this at one or more times in their lives, this is normal feeling
3) im 1 out of 8 kids(im number 5, middle) me and my mom never got along when I became 13yr. i hated her,
4) at times my 16yr daughter now, dont like me. or hates me too. this is normal, Im her parent not her friend. cant be both.
5) maybe try to put a note on fridgerator, and say: would like to chat with you, mom and dad, and put a day and time. and see what they say.

as you get older, we realise what our parents did when little or teens. that it was the best they could. not to hurt us.
all kids in ANY family, there is at least 1 in the family that feels like a black sheep.

Answer 7

hi, yes i don't get along with my mum, after she stops me going anywhere and treats me like crap and her full time babysitter.
She stopped contact with me and my family. I recently have got into contact with them again, and she is now taking control again.

I HATE HER

I'm moving out at the age of 16 when the full time babysitting chore is over at the end of the summer school holidays.

So yeh, we don't get along

And i understand where your coming from with your parents, my friend has exactly the same problem as you!

Answer 8

this would be a damn complicated one, eh relatively, you won't have the ability to stress them to love somebody yet you may desire to confront them. tell them how upset they have made you sense via hating on somebody you adore. ask them what precisely the priority with him is, possibly they think of he's rude in some way you probably did no longer understand? in straightforward terms a handbook, nonetheless. tell your loved ones that they are making you depressing, in the event that they look once you adequate they're going to could study to post with your destiny boyfriends, and to no longer kick up a fuss or despite. solid success rekindling!

Answer 9

There's always a 'black sheep' in the family. I don't have that relationship with my parents, but my cousin has that relationship with pretty much the rest of the family, but I seem to be the only one who can see it. You just have to accept it. There's not much you can do to make them change their minds. :[

Answer 10

if you parents dont notice you are dont think you are worth the time then its time to move out of the house it may be that your sis is famous and your parents cant make a profit off you
you can move in with your boyfriend if you can


i dislike my parents they keep arguing and when i tell them to stop they dont take me seriously until i destroy something
my parents are I.D.I.O.T.S
you may say im ungrateful but they even argue over who used the PENCILS!!