HELP!!!How can my own brother hung out with a man that raped me and he knew about it?

Question

This happened to me 23 years ago..I have hated him every since that day..And the other night a family fight has broke out and he asked me Why do you hate me so much? I told him because you hung around that bastard after he did that to me and you knew it...
He yelled at me and told me "You know you wanted it "
I frozed and could not say anything but cry..I have not been able to sleep since that night...Nightmare are back..I am so scared..
I had so much stuff going through my head.."Why did I not hit him"
What did I do to deserve him to say that and make him think that?
Am I that bad of a person...Was it my fault...Stuff keep going through my head..and I can`t stop thinking about it...I was only 12 years old at that time...
Help me figure this out please...sometime I just wish I can die.. so the nightmare can stop....but i can`t I have four children and they need me...HELP

Answer 1

Your brother is SICK, 23 years ago little girls
didn't even know that much about sex. Not like
many seem to do now.
If you, or the family has kids, I hope you protect
them from his sickness.
Good you didn't hit him.
I would have words for him though. I hope he doesn't
have kids.
IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.
The man could still be a sicko.
Now he has a partner in crime.
Your brother.
Warn your families Women, because he was wrong.

Answer 2

You're harboring this against your brother after 23 years? Girl you need counseling.........
I confronted my molestor....I was almost 40 when I confronted the pervert cousin that molested me....But you know....hate, revenge are sweetly satisfied when you read in a local daily newspaper that he had been killed in a tragic car accident.....My nightmares stopped on that day....
You need to quit dwelling on the past and think of the present and the future!....Dwelling on the 23yr past incident is doing you NO good whatsoever....

Your brother needs his head examined if truly said to you " YOU KNOW YOU WANTED IT" What would a 12 yr old know about the act of RAPE?

Was this perpetrator ever prosecuted? DID you bring charges and have him listed as a Sex offender? What did your parents do for your mental health? Seek this answers from a counselor....and try to put an end to your pain.

Answer 3

Wow, how insensitive can your brother be? It sounds like he approved of the whole thing.

I would say it's unfortunate, but I would "divorce" both my brother and the "friend" he hangs out with that did this horrible thing to you.

I understand how you feel, believe me. A very similar thing happened to me. I don't talk to either my brother or any of his friends. Sometimes you have to handle the situation so it's not a daily reminder of the pain and also since your brother is so insensitive and ignorant to your feelings, what are you losing by not speaking to him?
If you have to explain why you aren't talking to other family members, don't be shy about it.

This sounds like a relationship you should certainly do without. What is your brother bringing to your relationship that's positive?
If you are going to say, "Blood is thicker than water", wel then I'd have to ask where was your brother when his "friend" did this to you, and why didn't he help put this sicko away?

Answer 4

he is completely jerk. Sometimes i am ashamed that I am human being when i see these kind of things happen. he is your blood and he betrayed you that way. Don't talk to him he doesn't deserve sister like you. Nothing of that was your fault. You were only 12. Is one of your girls that age or do you know some girl of that age? Would she be able to provoke a man? That couldn't be your fault. It is his fault and if you didn't you shouldve report him. now its probably too late. Talk with a psyhologist. Professional help would help you I am sure. And be strong! Find strenght in yourself. Strenght to faight. Your children are probably very young and they need you. Every time you get those nightmares think about them. They need their mother happy. And also those two men were destroying your life, dont let them do that to you anymore. Ask for help.

Answer 5

First off, remember, you are a beautiful person with four beautiful children and yes, they do need you. It sounds like you must dismiss yourself from your brother. You told him h ow he hurt you and showed you no support. Sometimes you must make your friends be your family and concentrate on that. Forget about 23 years ago, for your childrens sake by speaking to a counselor or even a pastor at a church. This will h elp you. Good luck to you and I wish you the best.

Answer 6

Your brother is being stupid. He is just repeating to you the excuse that the guy told him, not what your brother thinks.

Men who assault women rationalise it afterwards by saying "she was ready for it", which is absolutely untrue. You were the innocent victim of a violent act, as are thousands of women all over the world. You were just unlucky.

Now you have a new life, a home and family. There is no need to look back at the past, it is no longer relevant.

Answer 7

First of all, I am TOTALLY on your side. Second, why didn't you say something right when it happened? Why would someone lie about someone else RAPING them. Do you know how serious this is? And third, do NOT whatsoever speak to your brother again. If you see him, say hello, and smile, but walk away and leave it at that. If you need counsiling (sorry for my spelling) then seek it. I would be messed up in the head if that happened to me...

Answer 8

first off @ 12 your probably not wanting that, i hope and your brother has no right to speak to you in that manner. if hes younger well chances are thats what he wanted @ 12. if hes older, well ***** slap that bastard and tell him to beat it,be gone!. shame on him he should know better.ya he may be family but who the hell needs negitives in their lives? you have 4 children who deserve nothing but the best you can give them and stability and security are the most important( i think) you need to talk to someone who can help you get through this. but if your so-called bro is that hidiously, ignorant well the less you see of him the better and thats another gift you'll be giving your children. they dont need to pick up his "award winning" qualities.you need to get sleep, very important, for your sake &your kids. i wish i could help you more.be strong & let me know whats up.and that other ******,.........

"KNEECAPS''

Answer 9

Look, your brother is an immature guy. He is crazy in fact. I don;t know the entire background of the story there, but from what I have heard from you it seems that you need to realise that what others say or think about you doesnot imply that you are what they say.
Your brother is fool and you don;t need to bother about what he thinks. Its crazy to think that a 12 yeard old girl wud want that to happpen to her. Its traumatic to anyone who has to face it. At any age. I am sorry but your brother is a pathetic, immoral and feelingless b a s t a r d.
try to to divert yourself from it. Don;t bother abt what he does or who he hangs out with, just ignore him and avoid him.
Look after your children and immerse yourself in being a good mother to them and bringing them up safely and nicely

Answer 10

hitting him would drop you to his very low level i know its hard but dieing is not the answer if i was you id never talk to him agian and if hes hanging out with a a$$hole like that then they are up to no good and will get caught i just hope nobody eles gets hurt i know hteres not much i can say but hope you cna get over it be happy people do need you and you made it this long dont give up now