Funniest joke..?

Answer 1

Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.
While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.

The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E. , you know...
''Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.''

The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know...
''Double Income, No Kids Yet. "

The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know...
''Rich, Urban, Biker. "

The fourth guy says, I am a D.I.L.D.O., you know...
''Double Income, Little Dog Owner.''

They turn to the woman and ask her.
''What are you?''

She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know...
Wash, Iron, F***, Etc.''

Answer 2

Pinch My Nipples

A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.

The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?"

She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed, "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!"
and in doing so, draws an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?"

In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

Answer 3

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little
boy on
his new shiny bike stopped beside him.

''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?''

''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!''

The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he
said,
''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.''

To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ψnice horse you got
their sir,
did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop.

the little boy looked up at the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa
to put
the di ck underneath the horse instead of on top.''


heh heh check ya later ♥

Answer 4

there was a french, Mexican, and American on top of a mountain when a gini appeared.it said it would grant each of them a wish all they had to do was jump of the mountain and say it.the french man jumped and said"bird".and he turned into a bird and flue away.the Mexican man jumped and said"fish."and he turned into a fish and fell into a stream.then the American man tried to jump, tripped over a rock and said"crap."

Answer 5

A friend sent me this today. Enjoy!

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/singingman7777/Beginning.htm

Answer 6

why did the dinosaur cross the road?

because chickens werent invented!

Answer 7

If a priest eats beans, he’ll have to sit in his own pew...

Answer 8

Maybe, I really don't know.