my 16 year old son has low self esteem?

Question

Its that bad that he doesn't hang out much with kids his age. Its been a problem due to his height he is short for his age and wont grow much more. As he is getting older its became a problem for him as he get comments and teased at school sometimes he over hears this comments from students. Also some family members laugh at him when they see him and tease. Not his siblings . but his younger sister is taller than him so that causes a problem as people like to remind him about it. I have talked to my son about this and he told me on a daily basis at school he is teased about his height. Its changed my son so much. From a happy well confident, full of laughs and character to a very sad and quiet boy in public and on family gatherings.

Answer 1

i'm so glad you are addressing this issue with him, and hopefully he can continue to talk about this with you. you know, teasing or what they call bullying now, is very common within the school system. encourage your son to speak to his school counsellor and teachers for emotional support. sometimes teachers are reluctant to do anything about it. that is why it's critical for you to talk to them as well, and include the vice principal in this conversation. your son may need outside counselling to work with issues of feeling left out, overt teasing, feeling depressed. when he's dealing with these issues, sometimes concentrating on school work, building new friendships, functioning day to day may be difficult for him. you are definitely his support, and help him build more supports. in situations of bullying, the issue becomes far beyond self esteem; it becomes about giving your son hope that this behaviour can stop, and soon.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear about your sons drama, I also have a 16 year old and have the opposite prob. but he would never think of teasing another like that {I have seen him stick up for others many times when he doesn't know I'm around}
Have you tried to get him into things outside of school like programs in a park district or something else he could enjoy?
My girlfriend has a son also 16 who is considered short for the age {5' 1"} and he has few other friends from school other than my son but he loves Scouts and martial arts which gives him something to look forward to every week. Good luck I hope you find something for him!

Answer 3

i am 19 years old and i am only 5'5 inches tall and my younger sister is 5'7 and what your son is going through i've also been through it in my school days and i can tell you it hurts bad,sometimes it feels very humiliating when someone tries to make you feel inferior specially if there are many people around watching.when people around you try to degrade you in this manner and if there is no positivity coming from anywhere else then it will obviously shatter the esteem of a person.To a child of 16 years it seems as if the whole world is standing against him and he does'nt understand why?what has he done?his height is not his choice.I was'nt able to go to school for 2 years.i dropped out when i was 15 years old then after some counselling i came back after 2 years at 17 in 10th grade and i have just passed out of 12th grade. i was told that i have social phobia due to my height.i was also teased by outsiders but that was expected,what was really bad was my sister making fun of me and if you get this kind of treatment at such a sensitive age of 13-16 even 17 then it really destroys all the confidence in you.even today i am unable to attend any social gatherings,actually its even worse, i cant even step out of my home sometimes.And all this started as i entered my teen years and got worse and worse as i grew older.you should give your son as much love as you can as only that can strengthen him to face life and the teasing has to stop from the relatives,just imagine we go out people make fun of us and then we come home for support and affection from family and what they do? they also make of us then where do we go.family plays a huge part in this, if ones family is supportive and caring then one finds courage somewhere but if the family does'nt care(teasing and making fun is taking it a really far)then its asking too much from that person who faces all this to live happily because the very basic things that a person wants before anything is love,approval,compassion etc. You and the people around your son have to be a little sensitive to his current position in life.Tell him to be a good human being from inside because ultimately its between us and god and not between us and them.he needs all the love and support that he can get so give him that.Best of luck.

Answer 4

It's a rather complicated issue here. Well you certainly must not give up helping your son to overcome his worries. You could probably have to talk to him on a daily basis and see how you could help him to resolve this issue. You could get him to see a bigger picture by telling him that at least he is fortunate to be able to go to school and have a family who loves him and be able to wake up everyday and be alive. Constantly tell him that you and your family loves him very much and will always be there for him. You might also want to consider volunteering yourself and your son at places such as elderly homes, hospitals, special schools so that he will be able to 'see' that he can be of help to many others who need it. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

so sad so sorry you his mom so no better shoulder to lean on then you. let him know you think he is the most beautiful thing in the world and your as tall as you feel-you know being short can have its advantages. just think how nicely he could fit into a porche, never has to duck under door ways, his feet wont hang off the bed at night, and some of the most gorgous women like (carmen electra, jessica simpson) are short and wouldnt want a guy towering over them. play it up- short can be a positive thing just a matter of putting positive swing on it no matter what family or friends say. build him up mom you can do it!!!

Answer 6

Lol, my little brother kinda had the same problem. But whenever he would just walk out of the bathroom after a bath (naked), my mom would yell at him to get a towel and hide the Titanic. You gotta give him self esteem through some other aspect of his body. But don't keep on the short issue, it will only remind him of it.

Answer 7

Certainly this kind of teasing can cause low self esteem. I would suggest that you talk with his school counselor and follow the suggestions that they may have.

Also you may want to have a meeting with the school psychologist/psychiatrist. They are there to help in these situations and may be able to offer counseling and resources to him that will help

Answer 8

how tall is he? if you really don't think that he is going to grow anymore then it is really something that he is just gunna have to deal with at his age kids aren't very open minded things will get easier for him when he gets older b/c people will be open minded towards him, as for your family i would tell them to **** off you can do that to family just give them a piece of your mind. as for what you can do just remind him that he is still a man is training and it don't mater how tall he is in the long run b/c he success in life is not going to be determined by his height.

Answer 9

Yep the teen years SUCK. No easy answers but maybe learning some coping skills may help. Or maybe some consuling as well.I know exactly how he feels. Tell him it will be better, just not soon enough(it never is). Good luck to you and him

Answer 10

Take him on a tour..the local prison, people who will never make enough make it at fast food jobs...have em volunteer at the local soup kitchen where the homeless end up !