My boyfriend has never given me a reason not to trust him and we have been dating for a year and 3 months. He has never flirted with a girl or had any girls for friends and I was his first girlfriend. I don't worry about him cheating on me because I think if he wanted someone else he would break up with me and then date them. But I don't want him to flirt with girls (even though he doesn't) and I don't want him to think any girls are prettier than me while we're dating. (he also says he doesn't think anyone is prettier than me)Basically, I don't want him to want to be with another girl while he's with me. He just wants me to trust him because he doesn't want anyone else and he never talks to girls. The only problem we have is that I can't trust him even though I've never caught him doing anything he wasn't supposed to. I really want to trust him because we are perfect together except for this. Please Help!
2006-07-18 19:59:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He talks to girls if he has to like a waitress or someone like that but he doesn't just go up to girls and start talking to them unless he has to.
2006-07-18 20:08:08 · update #1
You have self esteem and insecurity issues....you have to realize that you can't control anyone but yourself....If you were cheated in the past by another man, it is normal to feel untrusting....but this guy is different guy. Give him a chance...if you don't, you might actually ruin your chances with a potentially good guy.I was in similar situation like you and I end up pushing him away. People makes mistakes....so let your boyfriend makes mistakes... he's human too and human are flawed. If you're in constant fear that he'll cheat or flirt, then you're not letting your relationship grow...you're stuck in the state of fear and trust me,he'll eventually gets tired and leave you or worse he'll actually cheat on you just to prove you right. You wrote that he doesn't even flirt or talk to girls and hasn't given you any reason to mistrust him...right there, he's showing his love for you...now, show him your love by trusting him.As they say,
"The best proof of love is trust"
2006-07-18 20:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you have some insecurity issues that you need to deal with. Like saying that you dont want him to think any girl is prettier than you. That's not a good attitude to have when you're in a relationship. I'm sure in his eyes, you're the most beautiful women in the world and you should always think the same. Have you had things happen in your life surrounding trust issues? For example, did your father cheat on your mother? Or was he not around? That could also be the cause for your trust issues. But from my experience, if your guy knows that you don't trust him, and you're questioning things he does in his daily life, it may end up backfiring on you. He may get fed up and figure what the hell? If she thinks I'm doing something wrong, I might as well Do something wrong! You don't want that to happen. So relax and have faith in your boyfriend and your relationship. Sounds like the two of you will be just fine:)
2006-07-18 20:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there some reason why you might have trust issues? I would guess either you're insecure or maybe you've been exposed to some situation (one of your parents cheated?) that would make it hard for you to trust. Either that or your boyfriend gives you clues you only pick up subconsciously that he might cheat. Or hell, maybe you're just a worrier. Regardless, you simply have to decide to trust him. Actually, it's not at all simple. You basically have to give up trying to control (worry/predict, etc.) the situation and say, "If it happens it happens; there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm going to trust that it won't and take things as they come". Then you have to practice that (no sneaky checking in on him, if you do that). Tell yourself you're not going to worry about it. It might not work at first, but eventually, if you push yourself, you'll probably convince yourself to trust him. With me, it just took time.
2006-07-18 20:05:27 · answer #3 · answered by thegirlwantstoknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl First you've got to look in the mirror and see yourself the way he sees you. He loves you because you are you! he is with you because you are you! When I was younger, skinnier, and childless I was so insecure that It literally drove my man to cheat. I was constantly suspicious, asking where you going (when he was just getting up to go to the rest room) and checking his pager. So finally he said to me " since all you do is accuse me and assume that I'm after someone else then lets just end it. 4 and 1/2 years & 2 children later I found my self without. Trust yourself and you will find trust for Him. Communicate honestly
2006-07-18 20:12:23 · answer #4 · answered by girlsm9frmgod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The situation here is that you feel insecure or maybe you finf yourself being inferior or not compatible with him..you should have more self-confident..just believe in him and be normal..being suspicious is not going to do your relationship good..by doing it,you might create a chance of leaving you due to stress given by you..So just love you the way he is..if he will cheat on you..he will..you cant prevent it on happening so just enjoy the most out of it.
2006-07-18 21:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by Stephen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is not the problem. YOU ARE. Be lucky u have a b/f this great. Stop looking for reasons not to trust him and trust will come. Trust comes with love so if you really love him you should trust him.
2006-07-18 20:03:48 · answer #6 · answered by countrygirl6183 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY DONT U AT LEAST TRUST HIM UNTIL HE GIVES U A REASON NOT TO.. GIVE THE GUY A BREAK/ UR GONNA RUN HIM OFF. STOP BEING SO INSECURE.. U MUST HAVE ISSUES WITH TRUST. BELIEVE ME DONT GIVE HIM 2 HARD OF A TIME IF HES INNOCENT. U REALLY WILL LOSE HIM.
2006-07-18 20:06:57 · answer #7 · answered by igotbuuurnd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let go of YOUR insecurities and REALLY know that he's with you because you're the only one he wants to be with. If you don't it will eventually ruin the relationship. You DON'T want same asshole that will treat you like crap, so be glad with what you have and believe in it. Good luck.
2006-07-18 20:02:07 · answer #8 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let time put him to the test sweetie! Meanwhile, seeing as he has given you no tangible reasons to doubt him why fabricate scenarios of such a negative nature?
2006-07-18 20:04:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he never interacts with other girls, thats not healthy, guys generaly need to know that they are appealing to the other sex, and these doubts your having just might reflect yr own feelings.. i dunno, but i alwys say, dont stress about something that "might" happen, stress when it does, if it does, coz it probly wont.
2006-07-18 20:05:10 · answer #10 · answered by Tamryn P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋