Is this normal for a 3 year old?

Question

My 3 yearold has started acting really strange for him. He is kicking, screaming, telling me he doesnt like me. He hits on his lil brother all the time. He was never like this untill about 2-3 weeks ago. I always try to use a calm voice with him, but that doesnt always happen. I do spank him, but I dont thank that could have ne thing to do with it. I mean, I dont spank him out of anger or ne thing. Could there be something going on with him. We r a very loving family.

Could he be just missing his daddy, because he has been working alot lately. He has also just resently lost his babysitter that he was close to. She had to find other employment so she could make more money.

What can I do to help him threw this bump? And what can I do to help him controll his angery out burst?

I only resort to spanking when he is hitting on his 1 yearold brother and I have asked him to stop more then three times. I usually give a timeout fist. If that doesnt work thats when the spanking comes in, and it is only a small swat on the bottom.

Spanking doesnt make you a bad parent, its when it gets out of controll that it does.

Answer 1

I say normal, but I don't say ignore. I've had four kids (three boys). Angry outburst usually were calmed by more attention. I got involved with Cub Scouts with one son and taking him with me on errands.

My gut says the combination of losing the baby sitter and dad working late are culprits here.

I'm no expert, but after four kids, I'm confident there are not experts.

Answer 2

well for the most part i agree with the father of four kids i also have 4 kids 3 boys and 1 girl who is age 3 she also is doing this on occasion.it is more and likely cuz of the losing the sitter and not seeing daddy as much .the younger sibling prob dont have anything to do with it he just knows u will react to it .spanking is sometimes necessary .but i do not think that has anything to do with it .let him no that u love him .but if he does wrong try a time out or losing something he likes to do until he can act appropriatly.be consistant in what ever you form as punishment a time out for a 3 yr old is 3 minutes .when he is done in the time out let him no why he was there in the first place.another thing that has helped in past is catch them being good give them lil acknowledgments if he picks up something the baby dropped let him know he did goodgive a kiss a thumbs up a sticker .also when daddy gets home have him spend a lil extra time with him if he cant that day set aside a time just for him with you alone and daddy alone so he feels like he still has you for sometime.(daddy can read an extra bed time story.other things you can think up.also kids will be kids and they will mimic others maybe he has seen other kids act this way and saw them get attention (whether it b bad or good) and is copying the behavior.do not let others shame you out of a form of dicipline .spanking has been around for a long time.do not use objects to spank with and do not hit anywhere but the buttocks.and i would use it only for a major reason .well i hope i helped you i am sorry if i didnt .good luck.

Answer 3

I'm assuming that he hasen't recently started any new meds? Spanking should only be done to demonstrate pain. If your child is about to put a fork into an electrical outlet for the third time, give him a little swat on the butt and expalain firmy that he will get hurt. Or if he keeps hurting someone else etc. Kids go through stages, hopefully it will pass soon. Remember, model the desired behavior and BE CONSISTENT. Good Luck

Answer 4

Generally, if there is a sudden change you might want to see if there is something happening in his environment. Some loss like you mentioned, some abuse etc. You may want to find some way of reducing whatever change there is, if you can identify it. Also at that age, he is trying t individuate himself and recognizes he is his own person and that he is able to control for some of his environement obviously not yet with intellect and words but with tantrums and hitting etc. With regards to parenting, I always find it interesting how a parent uses aggression to teach a child not to be aggressive. As a child he does need somewhat of the shock factor to let him know what he is doing is wrong but we all ultimately learn best from modeling and what we have seen so be careful about using that. He is getting old enough to use other consequences and try to spend some positive time with him as he needs attention especially with the losses.

Answer 5

Definitely with the changes in his life with sitter and dad it is understandable. Obviously if your sitter is gone, his routine has changed. Does his new sitter (or you) make sure he gets his nap at same time (3 yr old still needs nap or down time)? Is he getting up earlier, or going to bed later to stay up and see daddy? Now that his little 1 yr old brother is more mobile, he is probably encroaching on his space more, getting into his toys etc. where before he might have been like furniture, just a thing that was there. Establish a routine, and recognize when he is getting tired or frustrated, and minimize his contact with younger sibling during this time. As the parent who is with him and disciplining him, he might be saying he doesn't like you because the parent who is gone doesn't have to be there and is "the good guy". If my daughter does something wrong, I make sure her daddy also talks to her about it so she knows we are on same page.

Answer 6

My son has been acting like this alot lately too. He is also 3. He is constantly telling me he doesn't like me anymore that he only loves daddy. I have started time outs and have tried to ignore some things just so he doesn't get the negative attention I think he wants. If you find something that works let me know. I am at the end of my rope.

Answer 7

since he is a boy and hes growing up maybe he just realized your a girl...and he is longing for time with a guy. I know a lot of little boys and girls go through a phase where they don't like the opposite sex parent...its because they may have realized your different and juts not know why yet. Also you said you have a younger child, maybe he just feels ignored and unloved. Just pay a little more attention to him and explain to him that his younger sibling needs the attention just like he did at that age and that hes a big boy and should help to "protect" his younger sibling. This will make him feel important and maybe wat to help take care of his younger sibling. Like if your changing your baby let him help by handing you diapers or putting the powder on the baby or even helping to close the diaper. Also terrible 2 syndrome doesn't just happen to 2 year olds its just the general age children go through that "bad" stage...

Answer 8

We have been through this twice now and a change in scheduling has been a BIG factor for our boys. They need consistency. My little one is 5 now and still throws fits like a 2 year old. The only way I know to calm him down is for him to lay in his bed and I rub his hair repeating RELAX, RELAX. I know it might sound silly but it really does work. Almost like I am helping him meditate. For the oldest, we just had to sit down and ask why he is upset. He hasn't always been able to tell us but if we keep telling him we care and want to know, he is more apt to let us help. Screaming and spanking doesn't always work. I know how frustrating it can be for you, just try to remember that they are little people and they can't always express themselves in the right words either.

It sounds like you are trying your best, hang in there!

Answer 9

It sounds like he is just having a hard time adjusting to the changes in his life right now. Just continue what you have always done, and keep things routine. I recently got a new job, and my 3 year old is having some issues like that as well. I actually talked to a counselor about it, and she said to keep up the routines that we had in place, and things will calm down after a while. Just reinforce the rules in a calm manner.

Answer 10

THIS IS NORMAL ALMOST ALL KIDS I KNOW HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS AT ABOUT 2 OR 3 YEARS OF AGE.DON'T WORRY THIS WILL PASS AND TRY NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY WHEN HE SAYS THINGS THEY DON'T REALLY HATE THEY'RE PARENTS.TRY NOT TO SPANK HIM WHEN HE ACTS UP BECAUSE IT WILL ONLY MAKE HIM WORSE.EVEN WITHOUT HAVING THE DAD WORKING SO MUCH AND THE BABYSITTER LEAVING HE WOULD OF PROBABLY STILL DONE THIS.SO HANG IN THERE AND BE THERE FOR HIM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

Answer 11

Let him know you wont put up with that.He has issues , but stay in control.Don't over due the hitting,but talk to him . Try not to scream,but be firm.But do spend more time with him,just you and him.Do special things with him,or some of the things he did with dad.Drink lots of herbal tea,you'll need it to calm your nerves.But most of all ,be patient.Oh, never reward bad behavier,ever.Turn off tv.,take toys away,they are never too young.Good luck,I feel your pain.