my future husband's cell phone. I found text msgs from a girl I have never heard of such as "where is your girlfriend?" When he caught me, with his phone in hand, he just laughed. I asked him who this girl was and he said it is a cashier from his work. Funny thing is, he has no business being anywhere near a cashier at work. What do you guys think?
2006-07-18 17:30:38 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
All of his family lives in Europe and half of them are already here in the states for the wedding. Some of you have suggested to postpone the wedding, but, how can I if that's what I decide to do?
2006-07-18 18:32:23 · update #1
Well first off, snooping will always get you in trouble. When you see situations that may really be completely innocent, you automatically take a viewpoint of the "worst case scenario" because you gut instinct is to protect yourself.
With that said and now that the damage is done, has he given you any reason to be suspicious before this? If the answer is no, then let it go and be happy...it really is nothing to worry about. When you say "he really has no business being anywhere near a cashier at work"...ASSUMptions make an a** out of U and ME. If there are cashiers at his work, then yes there is plenty of reasons why he'd know one.
If the answer is yes, he has made you suspicious before then are you really ready to marry him if he's sending these bad signals? You need to rethink your relationship future and make sure it's what you want to do.
Think about it this way: Are there not times when you harmlessly flirt or catch the attention of the opposite sex and have to deal with it? Most likely the answer is yes. We all do this, even after we're married, because the outside attention feels good....we know we still "got it". There is nothing wrong with this as long as we are responsible about it and don't pursue it, etc. There is a good chance its something like this. If he has earned your trust, then trust him.
Hope that helps. Good Luck!!
2006-07-18 17:42:20 · answer #1 · answered by chalis913 4 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I'd be asking if she was just a cashier from work, why is she (the cashier) wanting to know where I was. You need to be asking that same question. You might want to think of holding off on that wedding if you feel he is lying to you. Good luck and I do hope everything works out for you.
2006-07-18 17:35:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know that you are seriously concerned and that this is weighing on your mind heavily. You are concerned enough to postpone the wedding and if he truly cares about you he will know that you need him to come clean or explain.
I had a fiance admit to cheating on my and lying, it happend 2 years before he proposed but we postponed the marriage because I couldn't trust him. It was totally for the best and we are engaged again and happier than we ever would have been!
2006-07-18 17:43:24 · answer #3 · answered by sissyfyia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OUCH.... . You better do some more snooping ! If you are already finding things like that you better think twice before walking down the isle. And if you have to look through his phone you already don't trust him.. Just be careful don't get married and end up divorced months later pregnant because he has a girlfriend. Good luck...
2006-07-18 17:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by kirsten215 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you both need to sit down and discuss this. If there is something going on, better to find out now and not after the wedding. And you may want to postpone the wedding if you have any doubts. Could be she is stalking him. Not un-heard of you know. But seriously, sit him down and talk this out.
2006-07-18 17:37:31 · answer #5 · answered by mopargrapeape 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful with snooping, You may find what you fear the most. You may find something when nothing is there. Maybe you should slow down with getting married until you are comfortable and feel you know and trust him to want what is best for the both of you as a couple.
2006-07-18 17:35:00 · answer #6 · answered by rasberijam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the messages sound harmless and he didn't act intimidated so you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. I also think though that you should examine exactly why it is you feel the need to be snooping and then be so distrustful. Being this suspicious is no way to go into a marriage.
2006-07-18 17:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by charmingchatty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Methinks it is time to postpone your wedding indefinately.
I have said similar things in other posts, but will repeat here: why are you digging through his stuff? The idea that you don't really trust him (even if apparantly you were right) should tell you something right there.
2006-07-18 17:34:23 · answer #8 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't jump the gun---you need more proof---but if you don't get the answers from your fiancee that you're looking for---well---get out now----do you really want to marry someone you don't trust?? He shouldn't be laughing at your questions---that tells me that he's not taking things seriously ---you're getting married when? ask around and see what you can find out---don't walk down that aisle girlfriend if you're not 100% sure---your "gut feeling" can sometimes help with this---women have good intuition----best of luck
2006-07-18 17:37:07 · answer #9 · answered by suepooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to really investigate this situation before you say I do. You need to communicate and get the facts. You found this information out for a reason, so you need to find out what is going on. It is much easier to confront a boyfriend and deal with it than to be lawfully committed to your husband.
Get the facts.
Assess the situation and go with your heart.
2006-07-19 02:19:18 · answer #10 · answered by chipmunk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋