How do I become a Christian?

Question

I'm sick of no booze and feel like would enjoy a bacon sandwich.
plus all these muslim mamas are a bit chunky for my tastes and with the veil you never know what your gettin

Answer 1

Didn't you used to be mohammed when you first asked this question?

Answer 2

Dude, just become an atheist. So much easier. You get to do whatever the hell you want to do (well, ALMOST) and a bacon sandwich with a shot of Tequila is one of those things that you can do without regret. You wanna know why? Because unless you're planning on driving after,you're not going to hurt anybody by having a bacon sandwich with a shot of Tequila.

Answer 3

Today's 'Here's your Sign' goes to the proud poster of this segment:

Quoted: "Why should I waste me time answering when you probably want to sit at your computer and have a good old laugh."

Durrr-der-durr-derrr! Here's your sign..

The only true way to becoming a Christian is to murder, repent, molest, repent, cheat, repent, shake twice and stir, repent yet again, join a Church with a history of torturing & killing people who won't conform to what it wants, repent, blame the devil, repent plus whip yourself for good measure, repent again just to be safe, give up everything that brings you pleasure, go insane from giving up everything that brings you pleasure, become a Priest, repent and say a hail mary 300 times, drag some little boy into the basement rectory, repent, get drunk, repent, (censored) the kid, repent AND then preach about the sin of pedophilia (wait my bad, they don't preach that), don't eat spam on Friday's, repent some more..

Hell, between reading the first 5 answers and typing repent in this post I've already decided to stay a humanist instead.

To damn much repetive repenting for me.. o.O

Answer 4

I am pleased to see your question and I pray you will become a true christian.

However I am not encouraging you to be a christian TO EAT BACON. Because if you get fed up with bacon you will give up your Christianity.

Being a true Christian is a difficult task. It doesn't mean you can eat anything or do anything. There is no freedom to do sins. So if you honestly want to become a christian think well and start praying to Jesus. He will send His Holy Spirit to guide the way. I will also pray fro you.

Also please note if you are "chosen" no one can stop you becoming a christian.

May God's Blessings be upon you.

Answer 5

Well I dont think those are the reasons to become a Christian. You should become a Christian if you feel like you are missing something in your life and what God. Ask Jesus into your heart. Just talk to God. Jesus died for our sins so that we could be saved. He wants a relationship with you. ... And feel free to have your bacon sandwich.. I hope you enjoy

Answer 6

John 3:16-18

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
only Gen 22:2

17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

If you are sincere in your wanting to become a Christian. Follow thiese steps...

Say these words... Father, I am a sinner and I come to you and repent of my sins and I am asking for your forgiveness. I accept that Jesus, Your son, died on the cross for my sins, I invite Jesus into my heart and life, and give up my sinful lifestyle.
I thank you, in the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

If you did this, and were sincere in your request for salvation. You are a born again Christian. Just know that God knows if your sincere or not. I pray you did accepte Christ as your savior.

Answer 7

Firstly you need to believe that Jesus died on the cross for you and that He loves you. Then buy a Holy Bible and read Mark16:16 and then St John3:5 and then Acts 2 :38,

Then pray and ask God to fill you with His Spirit after you pray and ask Him to forgive your sins

I'll pray that you find a perfect assembly to worship the Lord and that the Devil won't decieve you.

Feel free to let me know how things are going with you
Peace and Love

Answer 8

To fulfil your longings you don't have to become a Christian. You need courage to do what you like, being a Muslim or do it in secret. You may say that doing it in secret is hypocrisy. Even otherwise you are a hypocrite

Answer 9

hello my friend u say u are a Muslim and want to convert hm mm if i say that u are a christian who is just playing around the PROPHET'S name then what will u say u should be ashamed of Ur self i caught u from Ur nick coz a Muslim he will never ever have a PROPHET written with his name as u have does this Ur religion teaches u i am so THANKS to ALLAH that i am not one of u i pray to whom EVERYDAY i will ask him to forgive u u don't know what u are doing my FRIEND go and open the HOLY BOOK (QURAN) and see what punishment has ALLAH given to that person who jokes around try to find the correct way ISLAM is the correct way do people say alot of things about ISLAM but i don't care coz i am a MUSLIM AL MIGHT ALLAH says OPENLY that to MUSLIM that u follow my way the person who don't follow my way what i will do with them know one knows that plz FOR GOD SAKE open READ the QURAN try to find more about the PROPHET MUHAMMAD ABOUT HIS LIFE who he was how he lived and i am sure u find the correct way

Answer 10

It doesn't sounds like a u really want to be a Catholic, it sounds like a u want to get a rid of food barrier which muslim religion doesnt allow to do e.g. "Pork". Please dont mind, I have a suggestion for u to dont think about christianity and leave all the religion barrier and enjoy Life...

Answer 11

I get the impression that you are actually being sarcastic. If you really are searching then contact me. Why should I waste me time answering when you probably want to sit at your computer and have a good old laugh.