Is it a must to have sharing of household responsibilities specially for couples who are both working?

Question

There are families where the husband never bothers to help the wife in the household chores, though at the same time the wife is also earning as worker outside home. Husband thinks it is the sole responsibility of the wife to take charge of the household chores. This is true to Asian families.

Answer 1

Sharing is essential. Not him "helping" her. Sharing.

If the wife has to be responsible for everything, eventually resentment will build and build and finally explode into a divorce.

If a man truly cares for a woman he would not use and abuse her in this way.

Answer 2

Different cultures have very different beliefs about what is proper work (and behaviour in general) for husbands and wives.

One thing is universal, imo, that is that any marriage needs communication before and after the wedding. People get angry when they feel that they have been promised something and then the other person doesn't do what he or she promised to do.

So if a man promises to help a little because the wife has to work, he should do so although they may argue about how much he should do. It is really just a negotiation like other negotiations except in homes people may get more emotional about it (angry, resentful, very sad, etc.)

In places where the husband by custom doesn't help the wife perhaps there are reasons such as the husband has to work so long and hard that he doesn't have energy to help or doesn't know how to do any household chores. Or he makes good money and can hire people for little money to clean and cook, etc.

The problem is when for some reason, the husband is not doing his part (or the wife is lazy or mean or whatever) and then there is a big conflict because important things are not getting done so perhaps the children cannot study or don't have enough to eat or have bad things happen to them.

Then through communication or through the intervention of friends or other family members or even the police, the couple or the guilty person has to change to avoid violence or loss of money.

Answer 3

I come from a traditional family where by the female head of the household and any daughters were the only ones who took care of the chores. I find that "traditional" men have evolved in that they want and for the most part encourage women to work outside the home BUT also expect the household chores to be completed by women as well. Well...all I have to say is this...If traditional men want traditional roles for women that is great. But they can't have it BOTH ways. Choose one role or the other for their wives meaning a housewife or a wage earner. They can not and I repeat myself can not in all honesty expect both roles to be fulfilled. It is tiring to say the least but so unfair at most. I have always stated to women who are about to marry to have serious discussions about household chores BEFORE they marry. That is only but one of the hundreds of questions an engaged couple must discuss now a days. Women work out of the home and can not be expected to fulfill all household chores because the bottom line is husbands are not supposed to "help out", they are supposed to "do their part". Let's change the vocalbulary ladies. It is their house too. If a women contributes to the household income then sharing of househould duties must be divided. Men have to learn how to cook, laundry, clean, look after the kids etc... I mean what happens when the wife gets sick? The household falls apart in a traditional household. It is 2006-let's get on with it and let's live in THIS century. Amen.

Answer 4

The husband should realise that household is a big responsibility. It is true in Asian families they have this problem sometimes, but modern husband should open up more nowadays. If the husband think the wife should take care of the house, he should be the one who provides then. If both of the works and earn a living, then both should share the same responsibilities in the house and raising kids... out of love not duty.

Answer 5

Today's lifestyles have strayed from the old standards where the man brought home the bacon and the woman handled household task and the children. Starting out together should be done with both workers sharing task. Perhaps certain things can be traded like the woman do the wash and the man does the lawn work. The housekeeping can be shared and altered monthly to really show equality. Work something out to avoid the time when someone complains about doing too much.

Answer 6

Oh absolutely! Without question. Marriage is a partnership and both partners should share the duties. My husband and I have been married 25 years and he helps me a lot. There are certain things that are his job, there are certain things that are mine, and there are certain things we do together. And we both take pride in our home.
Running a household is a full time job and needs to be shared. During the years when I didn't have an outside job I did more of the work than I do now, but even then he had his regular jobs. Now that I'm working full time we share all the duties and he helps me with a lot of things he didn't have to before.

I grant you, some cultures are different. But fair is fair. And overworked is overworked no matter how you justify it.

Answer 7

It is not a must - but in the Western World it is generally accepted that the man helps out in some ways. Most often he takes care of outside work - in my case, my husband cuts the grass, cleans the windows and gutters, sweeps and hoses the porches, and takes care of maintenance on our cars. In the house, he does some things - puts dirty dishes in the sink, cleans the television screen (of course!), and once in a while he does the dishes. He never does cooking or grocery shopping, laundry or dusting or vacuuming or sweeping, and I don't believe he's ever cleaned the bathroom.

In my opinion, if two people are working an equal amount of time outside the home, they should share the housework. But it doesn't always work out that way. I do get annoyed if hubby complains that the house is not clean enough for him - I tell him he's welcome to pick up a broom and do it himself. And occasionally, he does!

FYI we are caucasian of British descent, and both own our own small businesses; I am home a lot more than he is so most of it falls to me which is as it should be in this situation.

Answer 8

The best marriages are partnerships where a couple is able to come alongside each other and support each other through life. Not all cultures subscribe to this philosophy, though.

No, it isn't a must for couples to share household duties, but in this day and age when both husband and wife work, I believe it's the honorable thing to do.

Answer 9

It depends on what the couple wants. If both the husband and wife feel like she should do all the household work, even when they both work outside the house, then that's fine. (Conversly, if they both feel like the husband should do all that, then okay.)

It becomes a problem if husband and wife have different feelings about this. If hubby wants wife to do all the work and wife wants hubby to share the household duties, then we've got trouble.

Answer 10

It is very important to share the responsibility by the both partner to ensure , very harmonious , happy and comfortable life to enjoy .
And now time has already change , Asian husband also sharing all the responsibilities with their wife without any reservation or hesitation , this is the fact of today's life .