What is the protocol for attending the funeral of an employee? Details to follow.?

Question

I have only been with the company for about 4 months and one of the employees on my shift, his wife was due to give birth next week. But over the weekend they lost the baby suddenly. The entire pregnancy everything was fine and he was especially excited about the coming birth of his daughter. This employee does not exactly report to me directly. There is another supervisor he reports to but I am also responsible for this employee. I have worked on occasion with this person. I feel absolutly terrible for him and his wife and thier loss. I want to show my support for them but I do not want to intrude. A lot of his co-workers are attending the funeral tomorrow along with at least one supervisor that I know of. What is the protocol for this? I don't want to go and get the "thats the supervisor just doing his job" statements. My sympathy is real. But I don't want to not show up and have them say why wasn't he here? Help what do I do?

Answer 1

There's really no unwelcome person at a funeral. I'm sure he and his wife would really appreciate you showing up.

Answer 2

Funerals are to help the survivors and to respect the dead.

You should go and when you are there, you will know what to do and say to support the survivors and respect the dead.

Since you've only been with the company for 4 months, you should evaluate if you can reasonably get away for the funeral. If you have a supervisor talk to them about taking the time off. Additionally, if you're the manager, you need to ensure that business will continue as normal not to hurt the business or relations at the business.

If you truly want to show your sincerity, follow up with the family on a week-end after the funeral with a pre-paired meal ... often people need the support weeks after the funeral too.

Flowers are nice; however, I prefer a plant since plants can live for years and flowers die.

Answer 3

I say go to the funeral, by going you are showing sympathy to the family that you genuinely want to express. It's not a time for anything else; it's not a time for obligations or duties that regard your job. It doesn't matter how long or little you know this person. You just want to show support and there's nothing wrong with that.

Answer 4

Make sure that the company sends an appropriate boquet of flowers. Nothing too "fancy", but nothing too "cheap" either.

If you feel you should, or want, to attend, attend the funeral. Talk to the other supervisor and ask him/her if s/he really wants to go. Chances are, s/he doesn't. So, you go on behalf of your company and for yourself. Stay in the background, but be sure that you are noticed. This will let the employee know that you and the company care about him and his family in their time of need.

Afterwards, if he wants/needs to talk/cry about the situation, allow him to do so, privately. However, don't allow the employee to "take advantage" of this situation. In other words, don't let the employee cry "oh, poor me" for months on end.

I hope this helps.

Answer 5

When my grandfather (and later grandmother) passed, my employers AND their children showed up to the funeral. I thought it was a very gracious thing to do. I was so touched that they took the time to show their respects to our family. It left quite an impression on me and made me realize how important compassion is in this society. We often lack in ritual and move on to the next project.
You are certainly not intruding, and there certainly will not be hard feelings if you don't attend. Even though you are not obligated to go, the extended effort will be recognized and appreciated. This person will always remember you for being compassionate.

Answer 6

Go to the funeral, give your condolences and show your support, it doesn't have to be just part of the job. You don't have to know someone for a long time in order to share the grief or pain in the type of situation. I have no idea who they are and yet I wish there was something I could do for them.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Going to the funeral is both proper protocol and the right thing to do.

A funeral is a public ceremony and is not considered intruding.

It would be better to go and have untrue things said about you than to not go and have possibly true things said about you.

With love in Christ.

Answer 9

A nice flower arrangement is always appreciated along with a considerate condolence.

Though if you want to go to the funeral (no one wants to go to a funeral) and if it's a smaller company, I would go. A grieving family needs all the support they can get, your's will be appreciated either way you do it.

Answer 10

Since you are truly sympathetic of the situation, then go. Offer your regrets. Who cares what the others say when you know why you are there and that you've expressed your feelings for the family.