Check this one out, and please, don't anyone give a mean answer.?

Question

My son and his live in girlfriend who I have had almost no contact ever with in person or by phone decided that I am BiPolar and have OCD and that I must go see a doctor and get medication for these disorders and counseling. Trouble is, I have none of the above and my Doctor knows it. One of my best friends is a marriage Family Theraisp and she knows I don't need counseling. There is nothing wrong with me. My son is a heavy Pot smoker and I wonder if pot impairs your thinking between joints? I don't know what to do. If i go to a Doc. and say "I need drugs for OCD, BiPolar annd Mental Illness, he's just going to think that I'm a crazy Lunatic trying to get drugs. He won't let me see or talk to my Grandchildren untill I get on these drugs for something I don't have. This is insane. What do I do? I'm not making this up. This is true. And it is scary.

Answer 1

If you don't have the symptoms to be put on these...then why does he think you need to be? If he won't let you see your grandchildren, report him to DSS for smoking pot...and then get custody of the grandchildren...BUT...if you don't want to do that..then go to your dr. and tell him/her what your son is trying to make you do...and then if they agree that you don't need to be on this medication, then have then write up a letter saying you don't need to be on it, and why. And then show it to your son. Get proof that you don't need it.
Good luck!

Answer 2

Ok, the first thing I'll say is DO NOT listen to the above yahoos who are suggesting you call the cops on your son. To begin with, they are overreacting to anti-pot hysteria spurred by exaggerating government commercials. It is highly unlikely that your grandkids are in danger. Besideswhich, if you never see your son, how do you know the extent of his habit? Even if he is a heavy smoker, calling the cops on him will not get you custody of the kids, not by a long shot. Most likely custody will go to the girlfriend or the kids' mother, if they're not the same person, or failing that, the kids' maternal grandmother. The judge will be reticent to hand the kids over to you since you hardly have any contact with them and your son or his girlfriend will likely accuse you in court of having Bipolar disorder and OCD out of anger over breaking up his family. I can guarantee the children will want nothing to do with you if you're responsible for sending their father to jail.

It sounds to me like your son has some unresolved issues regarding his childhood and the way you raised him, and may well be using the Bipolar/OCD as an excuse to punish you and make you jump through hoops to get what you want. It is also possible that he is not off base in thinking you may have some personality issues. After all, he has likely known you longer than your doctor and your therapist friend and somehow I don't see him just deciding out of the clear blue sky to not let you see your grandkids. Obviously there's a history if you guys never talk. Also, the fact that you feel the need to include the words "I'm not making this up. This is true." raises my eyebrow just a bit. I'm not saying you're lying. I'm just saying there's a couple of holes in your story.

The best way to handle this is probably to get your son to mutually agree on a board-certified psychiatrist, not a psychologist or a therapist, and one you don't know personally. If he agrees with your doctor and your friend that you are in fact reasonably sane, and your son still refuses to allow you to see your grandkids, then he's probably just being petty. If that's the case, however, it DOES NOT give you license to be equally petty and call the cops on him. It will not get you any closer to seeing your grandchildren; in fact it will likely insure that they will hate you for a very long time, if not the rest of their lives. Ruining a family has a way of generating animosity. You may just have to accept the fact that you won't get to see you grandkids. Try to meet your son halfway, but remember they're his kids, not yours, and if he doesn't want you to see them, that's his right.

Answer 3

Okay, no mean answer. Suggest the following and he is not willing to do them, you may have to give up on the idea of having a relationship with your grandchildren:

1. Make an appointment for him to meet with your doctor to discuss why he believes you need medication. Give your doctor a release to discuss your health openly and frankly with your son.

2. See if he will go to a mediator to work out a plan for you to see your grandchildren. Make sure that he knows that your doctor does not believe you need any medication and explain that a mediator might be able to help you communicate your hurt, anger and frustration and would help him to communicate why he is so insistent that you have a problem.

3. Find out what his girlfriend's hold on him is that he would turn against you so completely in favor of the woman to whom he is not married and to whom he has no commitment.

4. Tell him, write him, or let him know that you love him and his children. They are always welcomed in your home. You would receive treatment if your doctor thought it was in your best interest, but since he does not, then you cannot abide by your son's restrictions.

I know it's easier said than done to leave your son and your grandchildren to their own devices. But you cannot control him anymore, you cannot reason with him. You have to face the hard fact that you may not have him or his family in your life anymore - and it is not your fault. Unfortunately, some things we just can't fix.

Answer 4

Compromise. Ask him to go see a psychiatrist with you. Explain to the psychiatrist what the concerns are and have him/her run tests to determine if you actually have any of these conditions. That way your son is there and involved, he can't say your lying about seeing someone and you can talk to him with a neutral third party mediating. As for weed, I doubt that's where these ideas are coming from. Maybe he has a valid reason why he thinks these things.

Answer 5

Call Social Services!!! Your grandchildren could be in danger. Let them know about your son and that he's on POT. The situation can be extremely dangerous to the children.

Answer 6

Actually...if one of your best friends is a marriage and family therapist - don't you think that they would be the ideal person to talk to and get this all sorted out? Sometimes with family problems, a mediator is a good idea!

Answer 7

you are looking at this all wrong. Turn your son in for smoking pot! i grew up in a house where my dad "just smoked pot" and everyone was like, yah, she'll be okay. well, i wasn't! your grandkids need a hero in their life, and by god you better be that hero or they'll never forget it! if your son is giving you ultimatums like that, he has no intention of letting you see them, it's just an excuse. for the love of god, help those precious babies. trust me. if you do drugs like that too, get those babies to someone who can help them!

Answer 8

Okay, have your doctor write a note to your son, advising him that you have had a complete psychological work up, and there is no evidence of Bipolar or OCD. Tell him he is welcome to discuss it with the Doctor, and might want to be checked out himself, while he is there.

Answer 9

Sounds like a railroad job, what I would do is get in writing from your Dr. saying you are not suffering from these things and send a copy to you selfish son.

Answer 10

Call the police and turn him in for pot smoking. When they take the kids away and give them to you to take care of... you'll get to see them as much as you want.