I'm desperate, how can i accept this?

Question

I have been diagnose that i may have an advanced stage of cancer. I have been carefully explain that no treatment to cure my disease. At best I may only have a year or less.

They encourage me to fight my disease, while no assurance that I can be cured but at least i will have a bit longer life. I feel that prolong my life for just few months longer is not enough coz I'm still very young.

Help me, how can i accept that i have no cure but only a prolong life at best?

if i can't avoid this, how is like when i have reach the terminal phase of my ilness?

the doctor still waiting for a more detailed lab analysis for sure, but otherwise he already inform my family that there are a very strong indication that i have malignant leukemia

thanks for all your support. Where i can find a support group?

Thanks very much for all your's answers. I really appreciate that.

Can anyone tell me where I can start research about my disease? In the time of desperation, every words from you are great reliefs. At least I have someone to talk about my burden while I really need.

I think I need someone to talk online. Where I can find someone who wouldn't mind to talk with me?

Answer 1

how can you accept it? i'm not sure this is the type of thing to be asking online, maybe talk to someone close to you.

but keep in mind that going through treatment is a decision you will ultimately need to make and be happy with. if it's encouraged, then maybe you should go with it. there are new drugs and treatments that are out there, maybe it's worth it and maybe it's not. but don't look at it in terms of the 'extra' days you will get, or how much longer you may have left from what the doctors say. this can be an opportunity to live life to it's fullest, where most people (myself included) are caught in life's silly dramas and where people can hardly see beyond their day-to-day life. though my situation was much different (i was 2 years old when i was diagnosed and cancer-free by 5 years old), i can say that having a support system is neccessary while going through such a battle.

last of all, the question shouldn't involve the fact that your life may be much shorter than it should be, but how you can take what you're given. i can't speak from personal experience on this but know that your diagnosis isn't a death sentence. the actual facts may not be good but don't ever give up fighting. whether or not you choose treatment, don't let cancer destroy your life! if you need anyone just to talk to, feel free to email me. there is also a site called caringbridges.org that lets people with illnesses post information about themselves for friends, family, and people everywhere to see. i wish you all the best

another note: its good to research on your own (look it up in books, online), but keep in mind that since you're looking at the information for the first time and since you're not a doctor, take it with a grain of salt. also, i would make sure to consult more than one physician on your diagnosis. yes, it's more money but you need as many opinions and options as you can find.

Answer 2

I can't believe a doctor would tell you that you have this cancer and only have about a year to live when he doesn't have all the tests back yet! Shame on him/her!! That is so wrong.

Cancer is a very hard thing to hear. I know, I've lived through it. Once you get over hearing that word and work through all the fear it's time to do some research and talk to more doctors...some that are more experienced in what you have. Don't waste time in doing this.

If it turns out to be that the first doctor was right, then so be it. Turn over all your fears to God. Pray for guidance to help you and your family through this all.

Just know that we alll are going to die sometime. Those that don't have any diseases just go on thinking all is ok and live their lives like they are guaranteed another day...and we're not. No one is.

I know you don't want to hear this, but someone close to you that seems well may die before you. In a way you have been given a gift..although scary one. By gift, I mean, since you've been given a "time-line" of how long you will live, you will now look at everything differently. It will mean more. You'll make more of your days and enjoy each and everyone so much more than those that think they are well.

I know when I got the diagnosis I really freaked. I didn't even hear the rest of what the doc was saying. I just had this burning in my stomach and head and I kept hearing over and over the word cancer. I had to go back for 2 more appointments, each with my husband with me so that he could listen too.

I have many friends and family that dread each birthday...especially turning the "big" ones...40,50, etc. Not me...I cherish each and everyone that I make now. I look forward to them!

I have a cousin that was diagnosed with a tumor on his brain that they could not do surgery on to remove. He was given 2 months to live. I got an email from him yesterday and it's been almost 4 years now since the day he was supposed to die. Has it been easy for him, no. He's taken all kinds of treatments and he's been on 5 different clinical studies. He's about to undergo another surgery (the cancer spread to other areas of his body) and then will go on another clinical trial. There are some very bad days, but he has good days too and has been able to travel and enjoy all the things he's dreamed of doing.

Hang in there, pray, and get to researching!
Blessings!

Answer 3

If I were you, I would start researching your illness heavily. New strides are being made every day in cancer research and they may be testing treatments now that could benefit you. If the doctor says there is no cure, consider alternative treatments the doctors may not consider viable and research them to determine if it is worth trying any of them.

If you don't want to prolong it, that is your right. You do not have to take any meds or accept any treatments that you don't want. Just educate yourself before making that decision.

Once the decision is made, I say live each day as if it were your last. Consider what that means to you.

On a side note, my mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was very young and the doctors gave her six months to live. She outlived that by three years, but I often thought the chemo was making her more sick than the cancer.

Answer 4

Malignant Leukemia??? Malingnant means cancer, it doesn't necesisarily mean terminal. There it a high success rate of cure for leukemia. There are several good web sites to do resarch on your own. Start with the Leukemia Society and American Cancer Society and the Lance Armstron Foundation

I'd also highly recommend getting a second opinion. Doctors don't always have the right answers.

I am a cancer survivor and opted to fight it with every ounce of my being. It was well worth the struggle!

Good luck to you

Answer 5

Edit:: This still sounds fishy to me.

"the doctor still waiting for a more detailed lab analysis for sure, but otherwise he already inform my family that there are a very strong indication that i have malignant leukemia"

Unless your doctor's a moron, he would never tell you you're going to die within the year if it's only a STRONG INDICATION.
And you can't be diagnosed that you "MAY" have advanced stages of cancer. You can be diagnosed that you DO have it.

I don't believe you, flat out.

Answer 6

Take the treatment! There is always the chance that it will work! Join a support group and talk to your family and friends. You sound like you need moral support. But you should really try to get all the treatment you can, especially if you are young! LIfe is short enough as it is. Live as long as you can, and try to not to be in pain. God Bless you.

Answer 7

When I was diagnosed with cancer (osteosarcoma of the trunk....a baseball sized tumor growing on my spine at the top of the chest) I was given less than 10% chance of living. I debated not having any treatment and trying to enjoy my time while I could, but for my family (I was 28 years old with 3 young children) I had to fight. I could not just give up, because it would be like giving up on them. I could just hear my son later in his life asking my wife "Why didn't dad try to fight to stay here with me?" I thought about alternative treatments, but finally settled on the treatment recommended by my oncologist. I also consulted at one of the best cancer centers in the country - Huntsman Cancer Institute at the University of Utah. There I met a Dr. who had actually dealt with my type of cancer before (one of only 5 known cases at that time of trunk tumors of osteosarcoma). He performed a surgery after 6 brutal months of chemo, then they sent me to Loma Linda University Medical Center for proton therapy, which I believe ultimately saved my life and cured me for good. That is now going on 7 years ago. The decision to fight the disease or to enjoy the life you have left is a very personal one. I am very glad I chose to fight, but you have to make your decision. I was called "terminal" more than once and my Dr.'s correspondence actually called me a "young man with terminal osteosarcoma" more than once, but I am still here.

You never know what is in store for you, and you will never know unless you try.

So the choice is yours, but I hope you find peace and may God bless you and your loved ones at this most difficult time.

Answer 8

You will process your emotions one step at a time.

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Remember, it's QUALITY of life, not QUANTITY that matters.

Ask them if they are just wanting treatment to make your life longer, or if they really think you'll be okay and be able to appreciate your time.

Finally, remember, NO ONE is God. NO ONE knows when or if someone may die.

Check out http://www.cancercenter.com/ These people can find ways sometimes others may miss.

Answer 9

I have already written to you personally but thought I must write some more as I am not going to see you give up on life. A lot of things have happened in medicine and am sure you will be perfectly fine and as normal as any other 14 year old. I would be more then dissapointed if you just gave up as then all that I have written would have been a waste of time and I do not believe you would like to see me hurt. I do not have too much time left - but that is okay with me as I have done everything I wanted to do in my life. There is not a single instance I regret and thats what I want for you. I want you to grow up to be a lovely lady with a long life and live it king/queen size. I want you to have the best of everything and most of all all the hapiness in the world. Though I know we will never meet - you are young like a daughter and which father would not like to see his child bloom and have a life full of love - love not just for oneself, but for others, for life, for the flowers, for the sunny days and on and on. You will not be going anywhere but to school and then college. There are no hospitals in your life and I will pray hard that the cancer transfers itself to me. I have fought it for six years and now its time for me to sleep but not before I fight it one last time alongwith you.

Answer 10

Please be strong my mother was just told that there is an 80% chance that she has breast cancer. I am still in denial. At the end of the day i'm sad and depressed but God has given us a beautiful life we just have to keep fighting and so do you. Stay strong and don't let it beat you!!! Goood Luck,