Devoted Christians only> My wife's anger and abnormal behavior makes me worry about my kids well being...

Question

The Bible doesn't give that as a valid reason for divorce, but should I consider it anyway?

yes, used to be physical but now it's only verbal/emotional abuse. been going on for a decade. She refuses medical help. i already tried (a lot). She blames others, mainly the kids. They have ADHD.

Been to 5 counselors over the years and most don't detect her problem. They try to remain impartial and she can fool them like Jeckyl & Hyde. One counselor was on to her and she broke off the meetings.

AND the only thing that has made me hold on this long is knowing that most mom's get custody in divorce and I would be throwing my kids to the wolves. Should I risk them if I can't prove her unfitness????????

Answer 1

In past times her behavior was called "possessed". The remedy was to go to a priest and performer an act of exorcism.
Today, you need to go to your pastor and ask for counseling.

Never stop praying and believe in God's mercy

Answer 2

Have you tried having a serious talk with your wife? Life can be so complicated these days. If that doesn't help, consider counseling, both for your wife alone and for you both as a couple.

In the meantime, other than pray about the situation, I would keep close tabs on your wife's behavior toward/around your children. I grew up in a very violent household. Although the abuse was never physical, once I reached adulthood, it took me years and years to get over the verbal abuse subjected on our entire family by a disturbed older brother. It was so bad, by the time I started kindergarten, I had horrible stomach aches every morning before school. To this day, when I get stressed, I have stomach aches.

Try to help your wife as much as you can, and talk to your kids about your wife. You may gain some valuable insight from their thoughts. Talk to God, too. That always helps me.

Answer 3

If we're talking safety here. I think you know the answer. Get out. I didn't say divorce, but you are REQUIRED to protect those kids. If you think that they are ok, then you need to let them know what's going on. Right and wrong kinda stuff. I'm just throwing stuff out there. I don't know the specifics of what's going on here. But remember this. Scripturally speaking: you're the man, the spiritual leader, the head of the household. God put this for the purpose of order, not to say someone is better than the other. Get her some help. Wherever you can. Preferably at a good bible believing church. Good luck.

Answer 4

Listen, God does not like divorce. I would not recommend it. Plus, divorcing your wife for kids although seems like a good reason would only cause you heartache in the end. They will still want to see her and still be obligated by the state to see her. Imagine what she would do if you were not around! Second: have you ever considered praying for her/with her? Prayer is a miracle worker. If you want something bad enough and it is on your heart, God will hear you. Plus, this just might be one of satan's strong-holds in her life. Pray for her and your marriage, before you take drastic measures. Third: if is that scary, why have you not considered sending her to a Christian counselor. She has wounds and emotional scars just like everyone else, they may need to be worked out before she can truly deal with this.

My advice to you right now is to just pray. Pray whenever your wife crosses your mind. Pray relentlessly, but listen to where God is directing you as well. There will be moments when you just need to be still and listen, live in those moments. God will give you an answer always!

Answer 5

First off you need to see if its not a hormone inbalance that your wife is having. Have her get some testing done a.s.a.p. , i know that if her hormones are imbalanced this can make you go into a rage at times. If she was not like this before then yes theres a medical problem. How do you think she would feel you walking out on her when probably deep in her heart she needs you and she needs the kids, think about if you had something wrong with you and your family walked out on you when you needed them the most. It may not seem that she feels that way but you know her better than anyone, think about that ok! Yes, i do hold concern for the kids but dont you think they would like to have their mommy back if she wasnt like this before. With out you putting more to the subject its hard to say if divorce is needed.

Answer 6

The first thing you might want to try is counseling. If her behavior is abnormal, there is definately something wrong. Have you tried speaking with your church authorities?

If you believe that your wife is a threat with her temper and abnormal behavior, then maybe you should consider separation and taking the children with you until she gets herself together. that may just be enough to help her realize there is a problem.

Divorce is not always the answer unless of course lives are in danger.

I hope this helps.

Answer 7

First I would want to know why you chose to marry and then chose to have children with an angry woman who behaves abnormally?

If you had taken the time to find out who your intended bride was, you might have avoided this mess you have yourself and your children in.

The truth is you want a divorce. You will continue to look for reasons for the divorce until you find one that makes you feel less guilty.

A decent HUSBAND's question might have been, "How can I find the reason for my wife's anger problem and abnormal behavior and help her solve the problems?" or maybe, "How can I help my wife deal with her anger problems and abnormal behavior so that our marriage will be better and our children will be in a safe and loving enviornment?"

You don't want to be a husband. She might be angry and behaving abnormally because her husband is looking for ways to leave her and she doesn't know what to do about it... because divorce is against her religion...

Just leave and let God worry about sin later. She deserves better...

If Christianity and the Bible were really the foundation of your marriage, you probably wouldn't be having these problems.

Answer 8

the bible doesn't give a reason for divorce except infidelity, and then only because of the hardening of our hearts (unwilling to forgive). You haven't mentioned if you have exercised any other options. Have you counseled with your pastor or sought Godly counseling? Your wife's anger could be attributed to some past unresolved conflict or hurt. It may be her attempt to gain control after having been forced to give it up. When you married her, did she have this problem? Finally, ask yourself this question. Would you want her to give up on you? Remember " in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, good times and bad"? Whether you know it or not, you made a covenant with not only her but with God. You promised to love and nurture one of Gods' daughters. You are the spiritual leader of your home or at least you should be. Be humble before God, seek His face. Has He told you to leave your wife and break up your home?, I doubt it. Your children will not be better off through a divorce. If anything, it will only make things worse. I know its tough for you right now and that it must be awfully tense for you right now, but it always seems the darkest just before the Lord shows up and does something spectacular. Remember He promised to guide us through dark times, so let Him lead you. God bless you .

Answer 9

You don't need a divorce ,she needs a doctor. She could have a mental illness(which is a chemical imbalance in the brain ,I don't care what Tom Cruise says) and it could be treated. People know about depression but don't think about seeking treatment for anger and aggression. Therapy and meds can work wonders in as little as two weeks. Get her some help now!

Answer 10

No. If you or your kids safety is at stake, you may well leave take the kids and leave the house. Get her professional help. To the extreme, get a restraining order and call the cops.

None of these calls for divorce. You vowed to be married to her for better AND worse. This is the worse part. Stay married. Give it up prayerfully to God and to other Christians you both are accountable to. If God can create a universe, He can sort out your marriage. Give it to Him, and give Him time.

Feel free to write to me if you want to talk more about it.

Answer 11

If it is irrational, or she is physical/verbally abusive in anyway than absolutely. She may be experiencing an emotional or mental disorder and may need professional help. I would consult a family therapist on what the wisest course of action would be.