I'm not sure, I think my boyfriend is submissive, and I'd like to get a bit of clarification on it if he is. He askes me to use my dildo on him (backdoor) and wants me to spit on him and rub my girl thing all over his chest. He also asks me to treat him like crap and blind fold him and tie him up, not sure if hes just acting out a fantasy or not. does this make him submissive? At first I was asking him if he was gay or bi but he got offended so I came to this conclusion.
I also wanted to know if anyone has some advice on being dominant (without causing pain). I dont mind doing it, Im just not really comfertable doing it with him. Not really sure why, I was the dominant partner in a previous relationship but my new BF is real dominant in everyday life and its a bit hard for me to switch just like that. I guess I just want to know if hes submissive and advice on how to make him my *****. :)
thanks for any serious replies
2006-07-18 15:05:25 · 10 answers · asked by miss-pelld 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Based on your description, I can safely say that he is a bottom. He sounds like a bondage $lut and is into anal, but that's all I can immediately tell.
Just to stand in contrast to other answers, he is not necessarily gay or even bi. Indeed, I suspect that he is quite straight. Just because a guy is into anal does not make him gay. That would apply only if he wants guys to do that, but that it not indicated.
Second comment: being a bottom and being submissive are not precisely the same. If a person is submissive, it will show outside of the bed. Probably the best way to discern this is to ask him to do some sensual but not necessarily sexual tasks, such as rub lotion on your feet or help you bathe. A submissive will very likely agree readily while a bottom might hesitate or try to negotiate something for himself.
Third comment: being Dominant in everyday, vanilla life is not a fair assessment of his submissiveness. Indeed, many powerful or bossy men (and women) would love to leave work and responsibility behind, preferring to place that onus on someone else's shoulders.
Fourth comment: being Dominant and being a sadist are not the same. A person can be one without being the other. However, I suspect that you are desiring to be both. ;-)
The truly best way to ascertain if he is submissive is to have open communication. Find out what he like and what he dislikes. Examine his motives, and have him examine them as well. It's possible that he might simply be a kinky bottom, but that something that both of you need to discover together.
I wish you luck in your relationship.
2006-07-19 16:51:54 · answer #1 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I don't know girl sounds like you got a Jim dandy on your hands! He likes it up the butt W/ your dil? and he says he's not even a little bi.
I would really not take that at face value for the simple fact that he could be and just doesn't know it yet. A big red flag would be the fact that got offended. If he was secure in his sexuality he would have been able to handle that Q without freakin out on ya. I think he might me confused and yes he is a submissive.
As far as the advice about being dominant, You would have to hit me up via E-mail too many little weeneys on this sight! Good luck dear!
2006-07-18 15:14:56 · answer #2 · answered by "THE BEAST" 3 · 1⤊ 7⤋
I understand you, my boyfriend at times likes me being the dominant one during sex. Its fun, just think of the dirtiest thing and say it. My boyfriend does not like me using my dildo on him but he likes me licking and poking it with my finger. Role paying is a great help too, act like you are his mommy and he is your little bad boy...he will bust his nut quick.
hope I helped!
2006-07-18 15:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by Maggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok girl my man is exactly the same way and i don't know what to do. i mean he loves for me to jack him while i eat him out, well you know where, and at first i was like ok what the hell and he was like its just pleasureful. i don't know how to make it easier on you. i just basically talk mean and dirty and if he reacts then i do it again, if you find some good answers email me or im me k sweetie
2006-07-18 15:09:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although, it sounds kinky, it doesn't necessarily mean he is gay. Now if he wants to include 3rd parties in your sexual activities, I would be a little wary of him...
2006-07-18 15:16:03 · answer #5 · answered by tammette39 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Seriously... You're boyfriend's gay. If he's not 100% gay.. he's definitely bi. No man (straight man) I know wants anything even remotely near his butt.
With that said...Regardless of whether or not he's acting out a fantasy.. if you want to make him happy I'm sure you'll find the best way to.
My advice: If you want to be dominant.. you have to be strong.. even if you feel like he's a lot stronger then you. You have to put all weak feelings out of your head. Think of the weakest thing on earth and imagine he's it. You're wonder woman! No one can beat you. No one can tell you what to do. If you want to be dominant pretend he's the scum of the earth and treat him that way... and let him know. Don't apologize in the bedroom. You lose the affect you were going for if you apologize. Don't yield and don't take any slack. Keep the pressure on! You'll have him licking your leather boot!
Best Wishes!
2006-07-18 15:15:36 · answer #6 · answered by PseudoQuasiX 3 · 1⤊ 9⤋
check out www.aroundherfinger.com
2006-07-18 15:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
sounds to me like you may want to look for a man in the meat department and stay away from the fuit stand
2006-07-18 15:11:25 · answer #8 · answered by citisat 3 · 1⤊ 7⤋
Your bf is more fruit than a tropical smoothie.
2006-07-18 15:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by trafficer21 4 · 1⤊ 8⤋
Hey hon. find yourself another man. You don't want to be his *****.
2006-07-18 15:10:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 8⤋