OK, Saturday, during a community celebration, our neighbor, T. and her husband had a big party and everyone got drunk. My wife attended and got a little sloshed too. Anyway, at some point, T's husband started groping all of the women. My wife was groped and although she didn't say anything about it at the time, she didn't like it. Well the wife, T. saw and asked her what had been going on and she said he was getting kinda grabby, that's all. He denied it and forbid her to talk to either of us again (I wasn't even there.) Anyway, he is controlling and has her convinced my wife made it all up to get her away from him. All of the other wives threw her under the bus and said they didn't think anything happened. Now she is the homewrecker of the neighborhood just for answering her friend's question honestly.
Question: is she really that wacked that she believes him, or is she sacrificing a neighborhood friendship to smooth things over and stay out of trouble with the hubby???????
2006-07-18 14:58:57 · 18 answers · asked by Jester 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
they aren't friends and you certainly don't need to deal with their sh*t....that's ridiculous...and you're better off without them
2006-07-18 15:03:13 · answer #1 · answered by serenity seeker 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Probably BOTH! If the person has half a brain, she's already aware that her hubby is a pig and is in denial about it/to afraid to make changes etc etc etc.
Personally, I think your wife should have called him on the carpet about it right then and there!!! When things like that are allowed, it can only get worse.
The other women which that happened to... Maybe they enjoyed it? Maybe their morals and ethics are a bit lower and think that's acceptable behavior? Regardless.... Before attending parties, maybe consider more carefully what kind of people will be attending and what type of party its most likely to be, if its something that wouldn't be appropriate for either of you, simply don't go. Or if it is and becomes something else, then leave at that point.
2006-07-18 15:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by Izen G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even attempt to try to understand the motives or the goings on of this couple.
Rather, I would think you would want to stay away from this couple anyway because it sounds like the husband can't keep his hands to himself. Regardless of whether any of the other women at the party want to come forward, your wife knows what happened to HER. Isn't that reason enough to want to keep her distance from them?
Sometimes a wife just doesn't want to believe that her husband is capable of philandering. That's between the two of them. But I'd want to stay as far away from this as possible.
Don't gossip about it with others, or start a neighborhood 'issue'. Your wife did the right thing by answering his wife honestly about what happened. Leave it at that and carry on. Eventually people will admire your restraint and you not making a big neighborhood deal out of this.
Things will settle down. Just give them a chance and don't throw more wood on the fire. And maybe your wife should watch how much she drinks if it allows other men to fondle her.
2006-07-18 15:08:31 · answer #3 · answered by lily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
T. is in denial. She probably has suspicions about her husband's activities, but for whatever reason, chooses to "look the other way". Your wife's honesty would have made her face the problem, so T. chose to not believe her.
T. is a cruel witch for bringing the rest of the neighborhood into it. Just give it time. In close knit neighborhoods, there will soon be new gossip to get everyone's tongues flapping. They'll soon forget about your wife and move on to the next victim.
2006-07-18 15:04:07 · answer #4 · answered by Annette R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your wife is telling the truth just because she was drinking don't mean she don't know what was happening and maybe the other women that was there like for Mr. T to grope all over them,but your wife did not enjoy it a bit of coarse he is going to deny it ever happened and his wife need to start watching her man around other women the next party they give she should not get so drunk and keep her eye on her man just to see what all he is doing at these parties you know what I mean.
2006-07-18 15:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to believe your wife...but nobody else does. You need to figure out, why that is. Why would everyone turn against her? Is everyone nuts? Or is something fishy about the story. Apparently the wife saw her husband grope her and asked what was going on. If she saw then why is your wife being blamed?
2006-07-18 15:16:37 · answer #6 · answered by Erectoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am very sorry that this happened to your wife and to you.
Secondly, your neighbor T is undoutedly humiliated by her husband's behavior. I am sure that her husband has done this numerous times over the course of their marriage, and T is doing what she feels she has to do to keep her family together.
If I were you and your wife, I would feel sorry for T. She obviously feels like she can't get rid of the loser she married, and I doubt that she has any true friendships either.
This will blow over eventually, because soon T's husband will find something else to drink and someone else to grope.
You and your wife sound like very nice, decent people, and I wish you the best.
2006-07-18 15:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the answer (from your choices) are:
"she IS sacrificing a neighborhood friendship to smooth things over and stay out of trouble with the hubby"
2006-07-18 15:03:15 · answer #8 · answered by vascsono 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God I'm sorry you are surrounded by such horrible people! Your poor wife too. That was NOT cool of him to do and he should have apologized to her and anyone else he goosed. And T sounds like she's tightly under his thumb - I wonder if it's an abusive relationship? Not all abuse is visible or physical.
That isn't right for her to ostracize her to the other neighbors, no matter what her home situation is. She could have kept that to herself.
Give your wife a hug for me - this situation really sucks. :(
2006-07-18 15:47:10 · answer #9 · answered by Irish Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it alittle time the truth will come out of him someday, probably when he gets caught doing another woman that way. Plus who knows maybe some of the women in the neighbor hood has secret visits from him, yes you got a desperate housewife thing going on and good luck to you and your wife.
2006-07-18 15:09:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she did the right thing for telling the wife what he had done. She should not back down from her statement. He probably does this all the time and someday one of the other women will come forward and finger him too.
2006-07-18 15:03:19 · answer #11 · answered by pamela_d_99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋