Why are men like this?

Question

Why do guys act differently when you and him are around his guy friends and way differently when you are alone..heres the story!

The other night we are at his friends house and just hanging out and we get into a little arguement and I decide not to blow up so I just went home early to calm the situation. Well since we were in front of his friends he had to make it look like hes the bigger person in the relationship and whatever he says goes. Take in mind hes in the military and 95% of his friends are too. after me being home he calls me and starts applogizing for acting the way he did and making it took like he was a complete idiot around his friends and how he made me look like the bad guy. but see he didnt say that in front of his friends he steped outside and called.

But right now we just got into an arguement over the phone and he blew up again like that b/c his good friend is with him. I tried talking to him about it and he just doesnt get it.what can I do about that?

Answer 1

I understand your situation with your Boyfriend; let me tell you from a guy's view point.

Given that He's in the Military, he's there with his Military friends and you're there... he has a need to prove his 'Male Ego' in front of his friends. As long as He's NOT abusive to you in front of his friends, it's forgivABLE. Because Men do not like to be submissive when other men are around and it hurts their dignity SO SO much. But at least he's apologizing, which is a good thing even though ONLY when you two are alone because he realizes there's an issue. (Note: If he's around your Girl Friends and still acts the same way, there's a problem because he should show the Gentlemen side of His around females), just like you would want Him to obey you when you Two are around your Girl Friends.

For your Information, If a girl acts like a Boss in front of the Guy's Friends, when the Guy's Friends talk, they 7/10 of the time suggest the Guy to Leave the Girl...

To Solve this problem, speak with him directly and tell him that you're NOT comfortable. BUT, please be considerate, put yourself in his Shoes. Men's Dignity is seen as Important as Women's Virginity; a guy must Do whatsoever to keep it in front of their guy friends, but He Should apologize in private; in fact, you might want to think about tolerating him in public then getting mad in private with him, so that He would know you've so Lovely and you save Him Face, at the same time He knows He could have been 'Calmer' while arguing with you.

It's just my opinion. Btw I'm a guy, I hope I'm not defending him or you... and Best Wishes in your Relationship.

Answer 2

All things in their time, Do you remember the movie "Grease" ? John Travolta was the classic case of your situation. Most men grow out of this, some never do.

They feel tenderness and the giving of sovereignty a feminine trait, not to be shown in front of their friends.

Some guys never go through that but most women are not attracted to them. These men are invisible to women.

It's the exciting handsome hunks that suffer most from this syndrome and not the nerds etc.

Good Hunting

Answer 3

That will mostly go away as you get older and men find that they really love(or like) a woman and dont need to put forth an image. Im a guy and know what some of us do. Tell him to ,"Be yourself" or goodbye. On the other hand I could ask why do woman play such games and make it difficult for men when their interested in them? Maybe its payback time for the guys!

Answer 4

talk to him about it. if it doenst work for a while then next time you get in an arguement, dont give in. prove that he is not the bigger but that you are equals, let him and his friends know it. if he wont listen to you're opinion about it in private, it may be a wake up call if you did it in public


think about it though because this could end up being extreamly effective or relationship ruining..as most tactics are.

Answer 5

Alot of guys in the military are like that. Cocky. He has to fight with these guys so he doesn't want to show that tone with his other male friend counter-parts. That would show weakness. So maybe just talk to him about stuff when you are alone. You could read some behaviorial books about it. Why people act the why they do. Just goto the book store.

Answer 6

if he doesn't understand then he doesn't, there is probably nothing you can do to make him realize how repulsive it is, he seems to think his reputation with his friends is more important than your relationship, military or not no guy has the right to act like an insane barbarian to feel cool...especially not at the expense of you and your feelings, my advice tell him to shape up...if he agrees test him on this, if he still acts like an *** leave him. Good luck!

Answer 7

Well first of all thats guys nature most of them but you deserve a guy that gonna like you no matter who is around and treat you the same too heck he should be making you feel good in front of them not dissing you!!

Answer 8

It looks like he likes to be the "big man" of the house and what he says goes. He probably would be embarrassed if you "got out of line" in front of his friends...this is why he calls you when noone is around. Next time a fight breaks out in front of his friends, don't shut your mouth...

Answer 9

Either don't hang around him with his friends or make a point not to say a word to anyone when his friends are around. All you would say is "Hello" and "Good-Bye" with a smile. You already know that your boyfriend cares about you, so you don't need to make point across with his friends.
Besides, you got better things to do with your time then arguing with your boyfriend.

Answer 10

People naturally act different with a bunch of friends rather than with someone by there selves. Some people make drastic changes however.