can anyone help me??

Question

I am 15 and want to buy a few black T-shirts but my parents dont let me because they say that I could get depressed by wearing black clothing all the time. what should I do?

I already dont like to hang out with my friends anymore so it makes them even more concerned.

Answer 1

Mike, are there any other reasons your parents think wearing black t-shirts might depress you? I think a lot of kids are into wearing all black, and that does equate in a lot of parents mind with kinds who are into the kinds of things that do depress them--certain types of music, art, even books.

And there is some reason for parents to feel that way. Although it is partly just a trend, it does seem that quite a few of the kids who are attracted to all black do have trouble with depression.

If you could talk with them about why they think you might get depressed, and ask them if they'd work out a compomise with you--black shirt, but blue jeans and jacket, for instance. Or black just one day a week.

It sounds as if they are just trying to protect you, which is a good thing. See if they'll work you to help explore ways of dressing that don't leave you feeling out of it with your peer group, but that also won't worry your folks.

Clothing is important to kids your age, I understand that. But keeping the trust of your parents is important, too.

Are there any behaviors that are worrying them so that they are afraid of your wearing black. It's hard to talk about this stuff with parents, sometimes, but don't get defensive, listen, and then quietly ask them to also hear your feelings. Try to remember all through the differences you are having that they love you and you love them.

They sound like pretty good parents from what you've said, and you sound like a pretty good kid.

Answer 2

It doesn't make sense that you could BECOME depressed BECAUSE of wearing black T-shirts! The usual idea is that kids wear a lot of black because they already feel depressed and want to express to the world what they have trouble saying outloud. If this is what is happening for you, then you should try to find someone to talk to, maybe a school counselor or someone. If your parents are genuinely concerned about you, they should be FINDING someone to help you!
On the other hand, if you just like black T-shirts and your parents won't let you get any... just roll your eyes and put up with them. Parents can be silly sometimes, but they usually have their hearts in the right place. You can live without black T-shirts for a few years, right?

Answer 3

What's going on, Mike? At 15, you should be having a blast, but it sounds like you are withdrawing. Your parents are worried, even though it is unreasonable to expect much help from t-shirt colors.

I had some really bad family troubles at your age, and was starting to keep to myself pretty much. Everything changed for me when a garage band cranked up next door, and I grabbed a cheap box guitar and started hammering out some chords. Soon, I had some great licks, and I became the center of attention. Looking back, I think that guitar might have saved me.

Ask your parents to buy you a guitar kit (they are cheap at Musician's Friend) consisting of an electric, a small amp, and an effects pedal, then they don't have to worry about black t-shirts for a while.

Who knows? Eddie Van Halen is getting pretty old. It might be time for some new blood!

Answer 4

First ask yourself the question, why do I want to buy black t-shirts? iF the answer is I'm trying to fit in, or just personal style, than you should talk to your parents and tell them this. But of course when you wear black all of the time, I would even say that you are depressed.

Answer 5

If you like black then buy black. But are there other things they are concerned with? Are you depressed? Your parents just care about you-they don't want to see you unhappy. If you not depressed tell them that a certain color cannot make you depressed , depression is in your brain-it's a chemical imbalance. It has nothing to do with the colors you like.

Answer 6

Get navy. It'll look like black, but you can tell them it's blue. Everybody wins.

Or, try easing one shirt in at a time rather than a few at once. It won't look so bad if you have 1 black t-shirt rather than a closet full. It'll also look better on you (in your parent's eyes) if you wear them with jeans rather than black pants.

Answer 7

In a way your parents have a point, there is definitely more to clothes than just black. How about get a black shirt with a smiley face than you can tell you parents it promotes hapiness. :)

Answer 8

i say go ahead and buy whatever colour t-shirt you want. but just to please your parents, do buy other colour t-shirt as well. buy a few colours than can supposably "brighten" you up in front of your parents. if you really are depressed in some way (hopefully, you're not), please read the article i gave below. it was interesting for me to read and hopefully, with the tips below, you can prove to your parents that you're not depressed.

"Depression: It’s more common than you know"

What are the symptoms of Depression?
According to the National Foundation of Depressive Illness, the symptoms of Depressive Illness are highly recognizable, both to those affected and to those closest to them, once they are told what to look for:

• Loss of energy and interest.
• Diminished ability to enjoy one.
• Decreased (or increased) sleeping or appetite.
• Difficulty in concentrating, indecisiveness, slowed or fuzzy thinking.
• Exaggerated feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety.
• Feelings of worthlessness.
• Recurring thoughts about death and suicide.

What is Depression?
A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.

What to do if you are depressed?
Depressive disorders make one feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and typically do not accurately reflect the actual circumstances. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect. In the meantime:

• Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
• Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
• Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
• Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
• Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ball game, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.
• Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
• It is advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition-change job, get married or divorced-discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
• People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day-by-day.
• Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
• Let your family and friends help you.

Answer 9

well all i can tell you is that even if you like black shirts dont get that many just get a couple you can get other colors if you want. there are beautiful colors like dark blue, burgandy, brown, dark green, and many more. besides you'll probably look better in different colors not the same color over and over again.

Answer 10

so that means people who wear red are always angry?????

i dont get the connection between the t-shirt colour and mental stability?????

but the fact u dont like to hang out with your mates anymore is worrying, maybe u shd see a doctor and discuss why you have lost your drive to be social.