if a girl wants to be a submissive? what does that mean?

Answer 1

SIMPELY PUT it means you will have to be incharge,and you will have to set the pase

Answer 2

I think Scott F is pretty much correct but I'll differ on a few points.

Being submissive does not necessarily imply that a BD or SM style relationship will emerge. It doesn't even mean that sex will be involved, although that or something similar often is.

To be a little more precise, what a submissive person does is offer to surrender some aspect of control in their life to another person or persons. There is a subtile difference between being submissive and being subordinate. In the case of the later, it is usually because of something that needs to be done, such as working under a supervisor. With submissiveness, it is purely voluntary, without coersion.

What typically occurs is a power exchange. Essentually, a barter of sorts is made with a Dominant. When a Dominant accepts the surrender of control from a submissive, they are simultaneously accepting responsibility over that aspect. Furthermore, the Dominant does this freely and without coersion.

Whenever a power exchange occurs, what has to be discussed is to what level that this occurs. For some, it might simply be surrendering control in the bedroom, leading an otherwise vanilla (non D/s) life. Some take the power exchange outside of the bedroom to the point of the submissive giving up control over certain cosmetic things like what foods to eat and what clothes to wear, all the while maintaining a public vanilla image. Then there are some that surrender so much, they become de facto "slaves", where they have the sensation of being "owned" by a Master (or Mistress). This particular level is not for the faint of heart.

Perhaps the key ingredient in the above is trust. The submissive places trust in the Dominant that they will not be abused, while the Dominant has to trust that the submissive will not allow abuse to occur. Abuse happens if one or the other goes too far in some aspect. Even a slave will still be expected to not be harmed beyond normal human dignity, such as the right to withdrawal from the power exchange if circumstances warrent it.

I probably babbled on too long. The short answer to your question is to ask the person claiming to be submissive what that means. If they cannot give a clear answer, they probably are either overly passive (which is not healthy) or are not really submissive at all. A submissive will be able to explain what they wish to give over to another person.

Answer 3

Submissive does not mean "giving in". It generally means you will allow yourself to go along with a suggestion or idea. It's like if your sweetheart says," come here and let me give you a big hug". Since that's something you would enjoy, you become submissive and go to him. When Jesus told Mary to clean his feet with oil, she knew that it would be an honor to do so, so she was submissive to his needs. If it goes against your moral or legal belief when somebody tells you to say or do something that you don't want to, you don't have to be submissive.

Answer 4

Are we talking about submissive outside the bedroom or submissive inside the bedroom? If the latter then it's a fairly specific kink, she's looking for someone who can help her play out a complex fantasy.

Answer 5

It means she wants you to tie her up.

No, really. Dominance and submission are two roles in a specific type of sexuality called "bondage and discipline" (or B&D for short). They are distinct from, but frequently connected with, sadism and masochism (S&M).

B&D involves two roles: the dominant, who is in control -- orders the other person around, and punishes the other for not following orders to the letter -- and the submissive, who follows the dominant's orders and otherwise submits to their wishes. Oftentimes the dominant person ties up the submissive, or uses other restraints -- handcuffs being a popular choice. The dominant can then have his (or her) way with the submissive.

Note that this is COMPLETELY different from abuse -- that is, a husband who beats his wife is committing a crime and the wife needs to get to safety. A couple who choose B&D do so by choice, and the submissive is usually getting great pleasure out of submitting to the dominant. And rough sex with a chosen partner while tied up is VERY different from rape (even though many people enjoy playing out rape fantasies during B&D play).

S&M enters the picture when one partner uses physical pain as part of the dominance -- usually starting with spanking, but it can include many other forms. Again, this is quite different from an abusive relationship where the submissive is in real terror and at risk of suffering real damage; in an S&M couple, the pain is usually harmless (in that it produces no real damage, just the sensation of pain such as from a sharp slap). Body piercing is often part of S&M play, because of the pain involved (especially when piercing very sensitive body parts).

One CRUCIAL difference between B&D/S&M and actual abuse is that experienced B&D/S&M players typically set up a "safe word" in advance. The idea behind the "safe word" is that if the dominant goes too far, whether in pain or in domination/humiliation, the submissive can say the "safe word" and everything stops. So if, for instance, a submissive woman wants to be tied to the bed and spanked by her dominant man, she can set up a "safe word" if she starts to lose the sensation in her hands or feet because the ropes are too tight. And it's usually not a word like "Stop!" or "Untie me!" -- this way they can engage in a fantasy in which she's trying to escape while he's punishing her, she can struggle and plead to be released, but he knows he can keep going -- until she says the safe word.

Not all dominant partners are male and not all submissives are female. Many men enjoy being dominated by women, especially in uniforms. And many women get a great thrill out of being the dominant partner, being in complete control of the sexual adventure.

It can be difficult for couples to achieve a balance if one member is strongly interested in B&D or S&M and the other is not. In my single days I dated a woman who really wanted to explore it; I tried a few role-plays with her but I did not find it fulfilling. So I respect it, and have a sense of understanding about it, but I don't participate in it. I'll let those who do talk about how fulfilling it can be for them; I know that for the right people it's a way of having an intensely powerful relationship. And most of my friends who are into B&D/S&M have very serious, deep, and loving relationships; whether this is in spite of their need for occasional sexual violence, or BECAUSE of it, is a subject for deep contemplation.

Answer 6

it means that she wants you to take the lead and take charge. What you want to do and say goes.

Answer 7

It means she is going to let him be in charge.

Answer 8

it meansWebster dictionary.