no gifts please just money?

Question

my nephew is getting married they are really quiet well off but said no gifts they only want money. is this the new thing aruond these day's. Have you heard of this before or did you/or know anybody that did this. I wonder if they would then compare such and such gave us x amount of money but somebody eles only gave us x amount of money. Rather then which toaster to keep. and what toaster to give away or sell (on ebay LOL)

Answer 1

Unless it is a culture where giving cash is the tradition, asking for cash is the ultimate in tackiness. I would absolutely not send cash to anyone who requested it. If they are quite well off, then they don't need it. If they wanted it for their honeymoon, there are websites where you can purchase things such as couples massage, dinner, etc. Asking for it is the most incredibly rude thing I've ever heard.

Sending cash is only OK if you WANT to send it and the couple did not ask for it. For instance, if you know a couple who is just starting out and struggling to make ends meet.

Again, if they are quite well off, I would suggest making a donation in their name to a charity that needs the money and then give them a nice card with an announcement about the donation.

Answer 2

Personally I find it a little tacky...but I hear about it a lot. I know a couple who asked for money because they didn't have enough space to move with a lot of bulky stuff, but they didn't realize that they could have just asked for no bulky items...

About the comparison though...people gave us such a wide spectrum of amounts of money. Some gave $20, two people gave us $1000. We really didn't compare so much as we were surprised when people spent a lot. We both knew that it didn't mean that anyone who gave us less money loved us any less. I doubt anyone is uncaring enough to compare amounts like that.

If you really feel uncomfortable giving cash (I almost always feel uncomfortable with it) you could give a gift card or something...good luck!

Answer 3

Giving money as a gift is actually very common in Asian culture.
Most wedding in Indonesia for example (especially within the Chinese community) .. you'll see printed on the invitation, something along the lines of: With all due respect, please give monetary gift rather than presents or flowers (or whatever).

To think about it, it's actually more practical. They can use the money for whatever is more useful, rather than having 5 toasters, 3 DVD players, 5 fans, etc. That's what happen because you'll end up receiving many identical items.

But in giving the money, it needs to be done discreetly. What we normally do is, have the money put in an unmarked envelope ... the couple will need to assume we did give them something.

Answer 4

I think it is the "new thing". Tradition has changed so much over the century's. Traditionally the bride & groom move in together after there wedding. In that case you would need all new stuff to furnish your new home. Now a days most couples live with each other then get married. I also think that most couples pay for there own wedding.
So my feeling is that it is a practical gift to give and I would have no problem with buying a card and puting a check in it :0)

Answer 5

Many people say is tacky, but it's very practical. It all depends on how you say it. You can say something like "your best gift is your presence, but if you want to give us a present, it can be in cash..." It is more convenient for everyone because, in that way the attendants doesn't have to spend any time looking for "good gifts". It save attendants time and you won't have your house or apartment full of stuff you probably never use. You can use the money to buy the things that you really want for your house. I know that's why registers are for, but not everyone goes to the store and end up buying something at somewher else.

Answer 6

It is tacky to mention gifts or registry information anywhere in the invitation. Gifts are not required, even if they are customary. The couple should let their gift preferences know to their bridal party in case guests ask for ideas. Proper etiquette states that registry information should be excluded from shower invitations as well.

And as far as these new "honeymoon registries" they are the tackiest of all--pure greed! If you can't afford to go on a cruise, to Fiji or Europe you have no business going. A honeymoon is a vacation and is a privilege not a right. I'd like someone to finance my vacation also, but it won't happen. My cousin put a honeymoon registry card in the invitation for his wedding. While I attended the wedding out of respect for my aunt, my cousin and his new wife didn't get a thing from me. In my opinion, if you ask for money you deserve nothing.

Answer 7

I thought it was it was tacky, especially after reading all of the responses, but as ISA put it, it actually makes sense, it's tacky and rude if you outright come out and say give money no gifts. if it's said a little sweeter (beating around the bush), then it might not be so bad. in the times we live, most people that are getting married have been living together and might have kids, and should have all of the household things, so why not just contribute with cash??

Answer 8

I would never do this, and recently heard of a couple who asked for money instead of gifts. The groom said they spent the first couple of hours of their wedding night ripping open cards and flinging them aside and not even bothering to read who they were from or anything like that, they just counted how much they got. I think that is disgusting behaviour, if the guests take the time to write a message they should at least have had the manners to read them. I was really disgusted by this behaviour.

Answer 9

I hope they didn't include this information in with the wedding invitation -- basic etiquette states that you include no gift information in with the wedding invitation, just if you're having a shower (cause the point of a shower is gifts while the point of the wedding is to ask that person to share in your special celebration). If money is their preference, they should only provide that information to guests who inquire to friends or family about what to get for them. Gifts are customary, not mandatory.

I suppose preferring money over actual gifts is becoming more common with couples who already have the basics and don't need to set up house. But to actually say that they prefer a monetary gift makes it seem as though they are only inviting you to increase their final gift numbers.

Answer 10

I was invited to a wedding and they asked for money in lieu of gifts. I thought it was kind of tacky but I kind of see their point. They were 29 years old and had been living on their own for a while and had a ton of home supplies already. But in the end, I kind of felt like I was paying for my meal, which took me back to it being tacky. If you need money to pay for wedding expenses or to recoup the money you spent on the wedding, then I say go to the Justice of the Peace and skip all the pomp and circumstance.