She is just 25 and has had cervical. A few weeks ago she broke her hip and they did a bunch of tests only to find out it has spread to her bones and her liver and a little spot in her lung. I just dont know what to say to her. She is going to be the third one in 8 years in our family to have cancer. I was the first. My uncle just passed away a year ago from brain cancer. I just dont know what to do any more. Thank you reading and any advice you can give.
2006-07-18 13:57:34 · 8 answers · asked by Jester 5 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
i know exactly how you feel....my aunt pass away with breast cancer...
a simple touch and listening is the best way you can do....you don't have to say anything to her as long as you are there for her...
people who undergo in any type of diseases will go in different phases...they have to deny the fact..they can be angry to anybody...then they have to trade in some ways just to let them free from it then acceptance...your cousin may not be in the acceptance phase yet but just try to listen to her...and thats a big help!!..we are people and we need someone to listen to us to ease the pain....
god bless her!!
2006-07-18 14:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by tAmOy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have heard the old saying---Laughter is the best medicine!
I worked in a radiation therapy unit for 5 yrs., and most of our patients, especially the ones who were really sick, just want something to laugh or smile about. If you are close enough, and able to, do a movie night atleast one night a week. Bring over 2 or 3 kinds of ice cream and a couple of really silly, goofy movies, and curl up on the couch together and laugh!
It really is good for you both to get your mind off of the matter at hand once in a while.
I am really sorry your family is having such a hard time right now. I hope thing will get better for you all.
blessed be.
2006-07-18 15:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by suequek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know she's in for a rough ride and you just being by her side is a great relief on her part. Encourage her that you'll always be there no matter what. Whatever you do, don't say she won't live thru this but don't say she's going to come out of this in no time. Make her extra special cards for her birthday or Christmas. Research says that patients who have a strong support system get better a lot more quickly, or at least improve.
2006-07-18 14:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by Valerie B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is help her through this transition period... this transition to whatever she believes is "on the other side." Do you know what she believes?
Practically speaking, you can bring her a flower. You can sit next to her. You can get her water when she needs it. You can bring her favourite music to listen to. You can tell her about your day or you can sit quietly... because sometimes there isn't anything to say. You can laugh about some crazy things that you or she did. When you feel brave, you can tell her how much you love her and how much you want to help her through this. How much you will miss her.
I don't believe in putting on a brave "this isn't happening and you'll get better" face. If you are sad and you cry, well so what??? She's dying and she knows it and you are sad. Why hide these feelings? If you are open with her, she will be more open to you about what she's thinking about, what she's worried about, or what she's afraid of.
I think the most important thing you can do is LISTEN and PICK UP on things she says or does that will indicate how she needs your help.
I strongly recommend you read the book called "Final Gifts" by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelly. The authors are hospice nurses who have worked with dying people for over a decade. The book will make you cry yeah, but it will tell you what to look for so you will know what to do if/when your cousin shows signs of needing help.
My Dad died in March of brain cancer. I'm so glad I told him all I needed to say. I'm so glad that I helped his final transition be as peaceful and comfortable as possible. Reading that book made me feel prepared for whatever he said or did... I was prepared to help him in any way that he needed.
Please feel free to contact me.
2006-07-18 16:22:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dr. Burzynski , has a web page with lots of information. He has cured many patients that other doctors have given up on. A friend of mine was referred to him, And the totally cured him . Free from cancer. Well I think this is the only page you need to look at. They will help you out , and your cousin . It is worth it.
2006-07-18 14:06:05 · answer #5 · answered by The Mad Tinker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can say that will make it better. The best thing you can do is to be willing to listen when she needs to talk and cry with her if she needs to cry. Love to you both.
2006-07-18 14:03:11 · answer #6 · answered by Lynn K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive and empathize. Let her talk.
Go to Yahoo.com and check out www.viabenefits.com and see if anything there helps.
email me if you think it'll help.
2006-07-18 15:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Without thinking you know how she feels, how she will feel, what will happen, just ask, "would you let me know how I can help?"
And be honest that when you say you can and would, you will and honestly be glad you can.
2006-07-18 14:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by annie_e_m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋